Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm
going to eat the next thing that comes out of it's ass."

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Gynaecologist / Proctologist leave the room when
you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap,
why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from<
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have
the same tune?

Stop singing and read on . . .

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the
hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets
mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive
faster?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?