OK - no nasty e-mails please. I don't make the news, only report it....

Redneck Medical Terms

Artery The study of paintings
Benign What you be after you be eight
Bacteria Back door to cafeteria
Barium What doctors do when patients die
Cesarean Section A neighborhood in Rome
Catscan Searching for Kitty
Cauterize Made eye contact with her
Colic A sheep dog
Coma A punctuation mark
D&C Where Washington is
Dilate To live long
Enema Not a friend
Fester Quicker than someone else
Fibula A small lie
Genital Non-Jewish person
G.I.Series World Series of military baseball
Hangnail What you hang your coat on
Impotent Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff A Doctor's cane
Morbid A higher offer than I bid
Nitrates Cheaper than day rates
Node I knew it
Outpatient A person who has fainted
Pap Smear A fatherhood test
Pelvis Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative A letter carrier
Recovery Room Place to do upholstery
Rectum Darn near killed him
Secretion Hiding something
Seizure Roman emperor
Tablet A small table
Terminal Illness Getting sick at the airport
Tumor More than one
Urine Opposite of you're out
Varicose Near by