Killer Biscuits wanted for attempted murder (the actual AP headline)

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws, and while there, went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car, the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open and she
looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked, but Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got her to remove her hands, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back
of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot and the wad of dough hit her in the back of the head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

And, yes, Linda is a blonde.

....she was SO blonde...she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept

..so very blonde that she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice because it said......... "concentrate"



..pa dum pum :laughs:

:D

...so blonde she thought Block Island Sound was a noise.

:laughs:

....so blonde ...she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!



...hey Chuck, see ya on the 19th?

bloo, pissin me pants, man :laughs:

A blonde had just totaled wrecked her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"

"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" blonde chirped.

"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.

"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began, "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."

"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth.:laughs:

She got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2 to 4 years.

She couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any of the phone buttons.

She took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?

You have to hollow out the head.

What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?


They drowned during Spring Training.

What is it when a blonde blows into another blonde's ear?


Data transfer.