An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really
stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat
watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the
old woman overboard. They searched for days and
couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man
back to shore with the promise that he would notify
him as soon as they found something.
Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a
fax from the boat. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you,
we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We
hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt
was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000 . .
please advise."

The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait
the trap."


:laughs: :laughs:

:eek:

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has
just passed away. At the end of the service, the
pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they
accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket
They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find
that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more
years, and then dies.
Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of
it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.
As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband
cries out:

"Watch that wall!"

Laughing is NOT allowed in the Forum......nor is grinning or smiling........so KNOCK IT OFF!! :af:

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!

:rolleyes:

Rated PG-14 :rolleyes:



On a flight to Chicago, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.
The flight attendant noticed his predicament. Sir, she said, "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."
He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters >WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them?
He couldn't resist. He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this.
Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside. When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flowers to this unbelievable pleasure.
The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure. When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he was in a hospital as soon as he opened his eyes. A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face. "What happened?" he exclaimed.
"You pushed one too many buttons," replied the nurse.
"The last button marked ATR was an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow."

Men Never Listen




:eek: :eek: :eek:

:laughs: