Just some "Random Thoughts" that made me Chuck le......:D:D...(no offense Crafty ;) )...:D:D


Why is a wise man and a wise guy opposites ?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become - disoriented ?...:)

If people from Poland are called "Poles," then why aren't people from Holland called "Holes" ??...:D

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say ?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery ? :laughs:

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist ?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled ?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular ? :D

Why is a man who invests all your money called a "Broker" ?

If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Philip's Screwdriver ?

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you that a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure ?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny ? ..

Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train Americans to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish ? :D

yo dude you doing your best George Carlin here ?
Why do we drive on parkways and park in driveways ?
a man of many talents .

Nice!

Some additional thoughts from comedian Stephen Wright

>> My school colors were clear.
>>
>> I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
>>
>> I'm taking Lamaze classes. I'm not having a baby, I'm just having
>> trouble breathing.
>>
>> My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, "If you could know how
>> and when you were going to die, would you want to know?" I said, "No."
>> She said, "Okay, forget it."

>> It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room
temperature.
>>
>> Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
>>
>> I was hitchhiking the other day, and a hearse stopped. I said, "No
>> thanks -- I'm not going that far."
>>
>> I was driving around recently and saw a sign that said "Rest stop: 25
>> miles". I thought, "Wow, that's pretty big. Those people must be tired."
>>
>> I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lived next door
>> complained. So I shot him with a gun with a silencer.
>>
>> I'm a peripheral visionary.
>>
>> I make my own water -- two glasses of H, one glass of O.

Another dude with a twisted, but interesting way of looking at things.