Juggling work, family, and personal life (not just fishing)

I am 6 weeks away from my first child.. and I barely have time to breathe.... and I am positive its not gonna stop.. Ive been working on the house, the yard, planning my wifes shower (dont ask - family and best friend 1200 miles away)

I went to infant care class last night and while I knew what having a child entailed, it just firmly entrenched the fact that life, as I know it, is done.

Luckily I have already learned to function on 3 hours sleep

Do I really have 18 years till it gets easier? or maybe 22 years before my son signs his first NFL contract? (and if he takes after Daddy's size he will!)

This isnt a grump
This isnt a rant
I think this is just me going - HOLY CRAP!!!

kids take care of themselves . In 18 years you will be wondering the same thing "how the hell was i able to do it ?"

was I supposed to help with the kids ? I thought my job was over 9 months before ?

Im just along for the ride . Im the bag guy .

kids take care of themselves . In 18 years you will be wondering the same thing "how the hell was i able to do it ?"

was I supposed to help with the kids ? I thought my job was over 9 months before ?

Im just along for the ride . Im the bag guy .


You must have a good wife... heheh... :)

Mine... well.. that wont be the case with me...

Ive tried to convince my wife to lay down some litter in a small cage - it didnt go over well.

Hang in there, and remember, you only get what you give.

I won't tell you it gets easier at any age. Each age has it's own challenges, and hopefully, rewards. Keep your eyes wide open all the time, a lot going on in todays world.

Also, your needs, (all kinds), are about to go waaay to the bottom of the list, if they remain on the list at all. Good news is, ya get used to that pretty easy. :D

"firmly entrenched the fact that life, as I know it, is done."

Don't think that way, the fun part is just about to start. Just remember to make time to take time.
Tom

if it is a girl build the out house asap .

definitely a boy!

he will be carrying my eel bucket in a few years.. :)

I can relate...had twins 16 months ago, and thought the same way you do...and for a while, it will be overwhelming.....everything changes...the scariest part is when you realise that you are all he/she has..that was the moment for me....but, you just find a way to step up..even when you think you already have...or can't step up anymore....you will. If I can help, or if you have anymore questions...drop me a pm.

Congrats on your new addition....it's the best feeling in the world!!
Jay
:cheers: :cheers:

Fatherhood is a blast....its not that life is done, its just different.

The 1st couple of months are probably the roughest. You just brought home the little one and the only thing the baby does is Eat, Crap, And Cry, nothing else, and all at the most in-opportune times. It seems that you got no return on your investment.

But then it happens, you get that 1st real smile, not the "I just recycled some Enfamil in my Diaper" Lip Curl but a real Smile. You can see it in their eyes....there you go, there's the return on investment. Its like the most powerful drug you ever had, you will stop at nothing to get a fix of your childs smile...then when they start laughing, Forget about it, You'll be late for work just to get 5 minutes of that in the Morning.

After that for the next 3-4 years you are like the Messiah. Every time you come home you'll hear the running down the hallway and the Screams of "Daddy, Daddy" almost like you just returned from war instead of a day at the office. They'll sit with you while you do everything. That kid will follow you anywhere.....they'd stand next to you while your sitting on the Pot if you'd let them.

Then comes School, Sports, Scouts, Dance and all the other things that will eat up your time, and money....but its well worth it. And you'll do it because your still looking for that "Fix", Your kids smile and happiness. You'll be more excited about the little ones 1st goal than they will be. I'll tell you I see guys complaining about sitting through there Daughters Dance recitals, Me, I love it. She is Smiling Ear to Ear and she is happier than a Surfcaster on a 50.

Its not that You're "Done" your just different. You'll remember things that you had forgotten about when you see your kids doing them. You can come home from the worst day in your life at work and the kids will do something completely off the wall that will have you ROTFLMAO. They can go from Einsten to Curley in a matter of Minutes. They'll Embarass You and Make you Proud all in the same day. If you have a Boy You'll want to see him grow into a fine young Man and if you have a Girl you won't want to see her get any older than 5 (That is the Best age for Girls IMHO). Just enjoy the ride.

You'll see its a lot easier than you think.

With two teen age boys :yak5: -- I drink a lot!:gu:

Just remember, it'll be like driving to Montreal to pick up my dog every day for the next 18 years, just without the strippers, or Chamberlain, or a dog.

"Juggling work, family, and personal life (not just fishing)"


Try rearranging the order of those..

We had a little girl six months ago and so far its everything The Dad Fisherman described... her smile alone will make my day.

When she sleeps, I fish.

You're right, life as you know it is about to change forever, but its going to change for the better!

These guys pretty much nailed it.. I got 2 girls myself, 11 & 7, and they always make my day.
Last week I had my little one convinced that the reason I'm using anti aging sunblock on her is because i don't want her to get any older.:D

I have a 4yr old and before she was born I made it a point to get out a lot. The nice thing is that kids tend to go to bed early after they are infants. That allows me to now get up at 2am hop in the car and fish and be back home around 9am, so I do not miss family time. I may be a little brain dead, but a quick nap in the afternoon and you can function alright. You'll be able to squeeze in the fishing somewhere.

Being a Dad is a great gig - like was mentioned earlier in the thread. They do say some funny things and it is fun to see things through their perspective. Just attended the end of the year concert at pre-school and captured one of those 'America's funniest home video' moments of one of my daughter's classmates picking her nose, examining it and then popping it into her mouth all during one of the songs.

Good luck with everything - especially planning that baby shower...

good post dadfisherman. it will be tough the first couple of months, but at about 3 months your child should start sleeping a good amount of the night, which will make things easier. enjoy the spare time, that you might get infrequently, but most importantly enjoy being a dad. It is simply amazing at how fast they grow, and how much they learn in just a short time. Our son turns 1 next week, and with another due at the end of august, well be in the same boat. you will just have to fish at night, while the family is sleeping. congratulations, good luck,and enjoy.

BJS, the early part of balancing family, work and personal life is the easy part. It's when they multiply and become mobile that you need a degree in balancing to handle it all even at that there's margin for error, but it's a great ride and like Hightide and labrax said, full of memories. I've got a million, but one I am constantly reminded of is one hectic morning while I was packing lunches and making sure no one missed the bus, I inadvertently put a Bud Light in my then 7 year old's lunch bag instead of a Diet Coke. She sold me out to her teacher in a heartbeat and I had a most interesting call from the assistant principal.
Take pictures constantly, they grow up too fast.

Thanks guys... Its been a hell of a couple weeks... and it all just coming to a head

Reading this stuff, put it a bit more in perpspective and reminded me of the all the goodness that is coming. I am really looking forward to this child... I just smile any time i see any baby - screaming/laughing/smiling/whatever.... I just cant wait.

Just hitting a low point before I shoot back up... As soon as I get this @#$#$ Baby shower out of the way, its more or less clear sailing from there...

As soon as I get this @#$#$ Baby shower out of the way, its more or less clear sailing from there...

I'm taking lithium for that day.

After that for the next 3-4 years you are like the Messiah. Every time you come home you'll hear the running down the hallway and the Screams of "Daddy, Daddy" almost like you just returned from war instead of a day at the office. They'll sit with you while you do everything. That kid will follow you anywhere.....they'd stand next to you while your sitting on the Pot if you'd let them


Hilarious!!!

Get ready for the highest highs of your life, and the lowest lows of your life....every emotion is magnified 1,000X when you have children......you aint even seen worries yet my friend.....and forget about your needs anymore.....nature will kick in and soon all thoughts will be of his needs.......rattle vs. new popping plug = no contest.....the old plug will have to do.

Good luck.

It will all work out.:) Re-arrange your priorities as to what you think---
is the most important first. You will be a Father, and imho the most important job you will ever have. Whatever sacrafices you make will be worth it. It's kinda like pay me now or pay me later.

Make time for your wife as if that relationship falls apart so will everything else.

Enjoy, your in for a great ride. :D

oh a boy ? when you change his diapers face him away from you or you will be tinkled on .

In all honesty
the girls were the best thing that ever happened to me . I have been nothing but the happiest I have ever been . I was 34 and married 10 years when I had my first so I was ready for the change in life .

I dont fish as often as I used too but thats Ok , they fish with me often and that makes my lost time a nonissue . you will step up and be a great Dad with ease . change is good , kids are good , diapers not good but its short lived . My girls are now 12 and 8 and are the best ladies .
they are mad that Im going to cutty to fish with out them but its no place I want to take them yet

I've got 2 girls, 12 and 13 and i keep wondering how did they get that old that quick. Time flies when you're having fun and kids are just plain fun.

It's easy, just accept that your life is no longer about you. These guys hit it on the head, tough couple months followed by experiences that you would never trade.

But, organizing a baby shower? You need to get a better agent!

Since my oldest turns 12 soon, my question would be "so how do you fathers of teenage daughters do it?" :spin:

I'm knee deep in trying to comprehend the 16 year old female being that occupies space in my house. She can be as sweet as sugar one minute, then a head spinning Regan the next. She wants the freedom, privacy and independence being an adult brings, but seems above lifting a finger around the house, even her own dirty dishes, and often expects that we have an endless supply cash and nothing better to do than taxi her friends around. Lately she seems to have no problem mercilously berating her mother especially in public, and it's put me at my wits end. I'm on the verge of donning my camo and boonie and pulling a g.d. Gunny Highway on her lazy, impolite a$$, but her mother won't let me. Fortunately, I've still got 3 good years with my 10 year old before teenagerdom hits.
Good luck to you, Hooked, et. al. parents of [and especially girls] teenagers.

Amen Jimbo.....I have two girls....14 and 8.....sweet and sour both of them.....I used to think I was loosing my mind, now I know it is the female curse....my brother-in-law says it best (and he has 2 girls age 18 and 16), "All women are evil"....... :D :D

Everything TDF said and more. 2 boys one 11 and one going on 3

Now if'n you think your life is over now then go work for yourself with two companies and soon a third.


Here's a good fix..


DADDY DADDY I did poopoo in the potty as he runs around the house showing everyone he can :hidin:

I'm actually fearing the position you're in. I feel like there is alot to do before I have to have kids......

Guess we'll see. Hopefully there'll be a boat sooner rather than later.

Good luck, it'll be fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine :D

me - 2 kids - son - 21 an up and coming electrician....
daughter - 19 - still going thru what Jimbo said :behead:

I don't see either one leaving until they're in their 30's...:hang:

I'll be gone one way or the other before they are it seems..:walk:

I feel like i'm runnin a friekin country club at times ....:cheers:

I just hope my daughter don't get knocked up....:wall:

Dude face it it's OVER.... :fishslap:

I don't know? Still trying to figure it out.

One day at a time, We have 5 from eight to eighteen.
We used to say we don't raise them, we herd them.
Actually the second is easier than the first, you have figured out that they are more indestructible than you thought(though in their minds they get more invincible and way smarter than you as teenagers) and you are no longer the sole source of entertainment.

IMO.....just take it one day at a time and do the best you can. Look for balance, don't get fired up on the small stuff, there is way too much of that to put you off coarse. I have a son 13 and daughter 10, it's work in process, but it's worth putting the time in.

You're going to be surprised how much smiling all the time can hurt your face. You won't believe how slippery the road is or how fast everyone is driving when your child is in the car with you. Hang on, you are in for the most exhilerating ride of your life. At times it will be tough on you, when your baby moves out, you will cry. Treat them just like people. You'll do fine :D

With 3 kids (5 yr boy, 2 yr boy, 1 yr girl), you save money on fuel. The joy of a 12 in schoolie at the end of a 2 year old's line is worth more than a 40 lb'er caught by me. We stay on this side of the bay, only in daylight, for 2-3 hours, don't catch much but have a ball anyway.

Cant wait for the boys to be a little older so we can fish together at night.

7 yr old twins, and I love it :)

TDF called it pretty much on the $$$, first few months rough, have 2 daughters ages 4 & 3 - wouldn't change it for the world. Funny to watch their mannerismns as they are yours....

Ice

I agree 100% with Dad Fishmerman, I have both kids in the "Messiah" stage right now, 2yrs and 4. Sometimes the cuteness is overwhelming, my son (2) who is potty training, follows me into the toilet and says "Good job Daddy!" when I take a leak. I remember stressing like you but I think nature has away of dealing with it, the first few months were MISERABLE for me. No sleep, constant work, schedule all messed up. Then you get into a groove and it gets better, and by that point you barely remember what your life was like before the baby arrived. So its all uphill from there. AS most said, its a balance. You get to enjoy so many things that you take for granted as an adult all over again. Everything is new, wait until thr first time you turn off thr lights in a room and shine a flashlight, it blew my kids mind. The crawled around trying to catch the light beam. You'll be fine, everyone goes through it, it will test your patience. Pick up a book that just came out - Wisdom of Our Fathers by Tim Russert, you'll realize how important your new job as father is and the rest of the stuff is just details

Well my daughter and I are getting along again and being reminded of the newness of life's events when the first one comes along reminded me of another classic thing I did. When we first brought her home I was so into being on night shift with her when she woke. It was like a special bonding thing and I loved the sweet smell when you burped them after a bottle. There was one reminder from my wife that whenever I changed her, to remember to use alcohol on a Q-tip around her belly button to keep it clean. Well I was about the best, most diligent belly button wiper there was, until one night my wife woke up and came in by the changing table as I changed her diaper and swabbed her. All of a sudden I thought my wife was crying (the hormones still are out of sync for a while, keep that in the back of your mind). Turns out she had to sit down she was laughing so hard. It seems I mistook the small bottle of mouthwash they gave her in the hospital for rubbing alcohol. This had been going on two weeks I was at it. Well, I'm again constantly reminded of that incident, but I will say, my baby had the nicest smelling navel of 'em all.
BJS - if you don't get on for the baby shower, you have to invest in a Diaper Genie. It may well be the most important piece of changing table equipment you money can buy.

BJS - if you don't get on for the baby shower, you have to invest in a Diaper Genie. It may well be the most important piece of changing table equipment you money can buy.

Its definitely on the registry, and I beleive its been purchased.

Ill say it again - this is exactly what I needed to remind me and put it into perspective. I appreciate the advice from all of you.

Fatherhood is a blast....its not that life is done, its just different.

The 1st couple of months are probably the roughest. You just brought home the little one and the only thing the baby does is Eat, Crap, And Cry, nothing else, and all at the most in-opportune times. It seems that you got no return on your investment.

But then it happens, you get that 1st real smile, not the "I just recycled some Enfamil in my Diaper" Lip Curl but a real Smile. You can see it in their eyes....there you go, there's the return on investment. Its like the most powerful drug you ever had, you will stop at nothing to get a fix of your childs smile...then when they start laughing, Forget about it, You'll be late for work just to get 5 minutes of that in the Morning.

After that for the next 3-4 years you are like the Messiah. Every time you come home you'll hear the running down the hallway and the Screams of "Daddy, Daddy" almost like you just returned from war instead of a day at the office. They'll sit with you while you do everything. That kid will follow you anywhere.....they'd stand next to you while your sitting on the Pot if you'd let them.

Then comes School, Sports, Scouts, Dance and all the other things that will eat up your time, and money....but its well worth it. And you'll do it because your still looking for that "Fix", Your kids smile and happiness. You'll be more excited about the little ones 1st goal than they will be. I'll tell you I see guys complaining about sitting through there Daughters Dance recitals, Me, I love it. She is Smiling Ear to Ear and she is happier than a Surfcaster on a 50.

Its not that You're "Done" your just different. You'll remember things that you had forgotten about when you see your kids doing them. You can come home from the worst day in your life at work and the kids will do something completely off the wall that will have you ROTFLMAO. They can go from Einsten to Curley in a matter of Minutes. They'll Embarass You and Make you Proud all in the same day. If you have a Boy You'll want to see him grow into a fine young Man and if you have a Girl you won't want to see her get any older than 5 (That is the Best age for Girls IMHO). Just enjoy the ride.

You'll see its a lot easier than you think.


Exactly TDF. Great post.

I have 3 boys all below the age of 7 and while its a lot of work (especially when all 3 of the boys are extremely active like mine) it is the best thing that will ever happen to you. I can't put to words the joy they bring (with a little aggravation time to time). Just enjoy it and your worries should take care of themselves with a little care and hard work. Also helps to have a wife who is a saint like mine - dealing with my kids all day.

Last - forget about fishing alot. I get out when I can, while it isn't nearly enough, and while I can't really pick & choose my tides, etc. anymore, there is no other choice.

TDF says it well.

RIJIMMY-flashlight games are a blast! we use several different kinds and the kids have a great time with the different beams. build a fort with a card table and blankets give everyone laight and let the games begin.

I am finding that parenthood is whole lot more fun and al ittle less work than I ever thought it would be.

Fishing wise, I go out after the kids are in bed and am usually home before they wake up. I am finding that I actually am fishing more this year than in the past couple of years. I need to get in all the time on the water that I can now, since my wife is having twins in a few weeks and we have a 5 and 2 year old already; I don't think I will get a whole lot of time druing this years fall run.

From a 16 yr olds perspective.. These guys have hit every point...But as the kids get older, i know that i have gotten closer to my parents within these last 2 years then ever.. and it's nice to actually have a conversation about something besides, "how was your day dear?" you can joke a lot more, and understand more.. Well thats how it's been for me so far these past 2 years.. But i have to give kudos to all parents, cause i know i put mine through a lot of s--t when i was between the age of 8 and 12... i was basically almost like a rebelling kid, a lot of trouble in school, bad grades, bad attitude, every parents nightmare.. but I made myself a deal the summer before i started high school.. that i was gonna change and give my parents a break, cause i realized how much of a pain i had been.. now freshmen year of high school i did change, 360 degree turn around.. i was on honors, senior internship for computers.. i was a happy kid.. no more rebelling, suspensions, detentions (well just 1 for being late to class). but every year into high school i've become a better person, more responsible and mature. But this is just my perspective basically.. Younger years, i vaguely remember, they started in tiverton, westport, fall river, and so on.. But enjoy it while he's young, i've heard that those are the years to remember.. :)

-- I'm not so far ahead into school i'm a Junior/Senior... I will be able to graduate early if i want during senior year. but the classes after my early graduation date, those classes will count towards college, for college credits.. So, i've done pretty good turning my life around.. And i've finally made my parents proud. :)

Good Job Katie!

1 year old baby girl myself. It's amazing to me how quick it goes and how crazy it is at first but absolutley nothing compares to it.

Speaking of non-comparisons-My baby is taking a nap the other day, or so I think-lol. I keep hearing this strange sound and couldn't figure it out. I look around my place and still can't figure it out until I hear my 1 year old start laughing from the other room. Knowing something has had to have gone down I start towards the bedroom when I see what the mystery sounds was. Turns out my beautiful little baby girl ripped a King Kong size sh** and then decided to pull her diaper off and sling it out of her crib and onto the dresser thus launching "debris" everywhere. Alas, this was not enough for her and is where the mystery sounds come in to play. Apparently several baby logs/piles, whatever you want to call this disaster, where held in reserve by her and used as projectiles against the walls and bedroom door...and to her it appeared to be the greatest fun ever had by a baby. It is at this precise moment that my lady walks through the door from work....da,da,da-dum, and issues a strartled howl of horror as she sees me in the room raining poo, poo stuck on the door, poo on the dresser, etc, etc. I put on my best:angel: face and declared that I was as startled as she and apparently somebody learned a new trick and proceeded to pick up my baby girl and get her to the shower. Of course my baby was having a blast and of course she had to smile and say "Da, Da," while squeezing my face with her little poo covered hands.
The joys of Fatherhood are unparalleled:bl:

Note: In addition to the thingies that hold the diaper shut it might be worth it to get Duck tape for the additional insurance of a diaper staying closed-lol.

Congrats Bud, Dont worry about it. The only thing your going to miss is fishing as much as you would like and even thats temporary. You will have a fishing buddie for life.

In a couple years you will be amazed(and very tired) at the amount of energy kids have. I have two boys and one on the way too. 16074

How's this
My oldest kid is 23, a trained machinist with no job. His girlfriend, age 22 (lives at my house) is prego, no job.
My youngest, age 20, High school dropout, no job (hustler)

I'm seperated, divorce pending. Kids pay no rent (they live in the upsairs apartment). Wife kicked me out after I broke my back. She says they pay no rent (my lawery is looking into that, they should have paid her rent, every month, since last December). She said they didn't (she's pocketing my money) By the way, she changed the locks on me (told the lawyer about that too)..
Hows that for a nice family ?
I've been married 32 years (probably not 33)

I'm going to the sherrif next week to have the kids evicted

Man that is rough:hs:

I would drop there ass's off at the recruiters office. 15 years later it was the best thing that ever happpend to me.

forget about surfcasting in the dead of night.. take up fluke fishing during the day or get a boat and chase fish durring gentleman's hours. i was almost faced with a divorce this spring if i didn't hang up the surf rods for a while........ Kids will change your life and you cant fight it. You will get yoru life back after a while i am told :huh:

Man that is rough:hs:

I would drop there ass's off at the recruiters office. 15 years later it was the best thing that ever happpend to me.
Too many "issues" to even join the army