Bass Babe
05-26-2008, 05:23 PM
Rob Rockcrawler found this in a magazine and showed it to me, thinking it would resonate. I thought you all would like it, too.
You may be a striper fisherman's wife if:
1. Your husband's marriage proposal takes place at a lighthouse and features a ring dangling precariously from the end of a lure.
2. Your china pattern is called "Shore Lights" and your good silver is shaped like fish.
3. Your husband archives 30 years worth of fishing magazines and catalogs them in an elaborate system that makes the Library of Congress look like the clearance shelf at Cabela's.
4. You have to dramatically alter your position in the car to accommodate a ten-foot pole.
5. There's a live well of eels in your basement, that are, quite tragically, under the misconception that they've been spared, while they're actually living out the last days of a death sentence. (Note: If the lid isn't tightly replaced, you will - and I cannot emphasize this enough, WILL - discover dead eels on the floor near the washing machine. This is a sight you will never get used to.)
6. You know the difference between a striped bass and a sea bass.
7. Your husband carefully cleans every lure he owns each winter but has yet to use the dishwasher.
8. You are startled to see a strange man climbing over your fence, only to discover that it's just your husband's waders drip-drying.
9. Your beloved is heard to say, "The baby better not be born while the stripers are running." And he means it.
10. Fin, Gill, and Fisher are on your short list of names for a baby boy.
11. When your son reaches 28 inches, your husband refers to him as a "keeper".
12. You have no fewer than 47 copies of the tide chart in your home.
13. You drive to the emergency room at midnight to have a deeply embedded treble hook removed from your husband's palm.
14. Your husband has the small motor dexterity to tie 60 leaders in one evening but claims he doesn't understand the fine art of changing a diaper.
15. Weekend plans for January through March are scheduled around fishing shows.
16. Weekend plans for April through December are scheduled around the presence of water in the ocean.
17. Your husband has four cookbooks devoted entirely to seafood, but still only bakes it with lemon and butter.
18. You understand the great importance of "structure".
19. Your husband has mumbled "blitz" in his sleep.
20. You realize he's not catching squid for calamari.
21. Your husband is wildly irritated by toast crumbs on the counter but sees nothing wrong with striped bass entrails in the sink.
22. You buy plastic zipper bags by the gross.
23. You know that "menhaden" is not your husband's quirky mispronunciation of "Manhattan".
24. The beverage holder in your car is filled with hooks.
25. Sunday morning can only mean one thing: In either the fridge or the bathtub, there's going to be a large, dead striped bass.
You may be a striper fisherman's wife if:
1. Your husband's marriage proposal takes place at a lighthouse and features a ring dangling precariously from the end of a lure.
2. Your china pattern is called "Shore Lights" and your good silver is shaped like fish.
3. Your husband archives 30 years worth of fishing magazines and catalogs them in an elaborate system that makes the Library of Congress look like the clearance shelf at Cabela's.
4. You have to dramatically alter your position in the car to accommodate a ten-foot pole.
5. There's a live well of eels in your basement, that are, quite tragically, under the misconception that they've been spared, while they're actually living out the last days of a death sentence. (Note: If the lid isn't tightly replaced, you will - and I cannot emphasize this enough, WILL - discover dead eels on the floor near the washing machine. This is a sight you will never get used to.)
6. You know the difference between a striped bass and a sea bass.
7. Your husband carefully cleans every lure he owns each winter but has yet to use the dishwasher.
8. You are startled to see a strange man climbing over your fence, only to discover that it's just your husband's waders drip-drying.
9. Your beloved is heard to say, "The baby better not be born while the stripers are running." And he means it.
10. Fin, Gill, and Fisher are on your short list of names for a baby boy.
11. When your son reaches 28 inches, your husband refers to him as a "keeper".
12. You have no fewer than 47 copies of the tide chart in your home.
13. You drive to the emergency room at midnight to have a deeply embedded treble hook removed from your husband's palm.
14. Your husband has the small motor dexterity to tie 60 leaders in one evening but claims he doesn't understand the fine art of changing a diaper.
15. Weekend plans for January through March are scheduled around fishing shows.
16. Weekend plans for April through December are scheduled around the presence of water in the ocean.
17. Your husband has four cookbooks devoted entirely to seafood, but still only bakes it with lemon and butter.
18. You understand the great importance of "structure".
19. Your husband has mumbled "blitz" in his sleep.
20. You realize he's not catching squid for calamari.
21. Your husband is wildly irritated by toast crumbs on the counter but sees nothing wrong with striped bass entrails in the sink.
22. You buy plastic zipper bags by the gross.
23. You know that "menhaden" is not your husband's quirky mispronunciation of "Manhattan".
24. The beverage holder in your car is filled with hooks.
25. Sunday morning can only mean one thing: In either the fridge or the bathtub, there's going to be a large, dead striped bass.