Got Stripers
12-22-2000, 02:16 PM
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
not a damn thing was working, not even my mouse.
My isp was down, I couldn’t connect;
my holiday posts, I’d have to forget.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of computer games, danced in their heads.
And mamma was drinking to calm her nerves down;
this holiday just about makes her melt down.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the monitor to see what was the matter.
I tripped over dozens of batteries spread out on the floor;
the language would be censored as my face met the door.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
made me sad with three months of this crap;
before I could pull the boat from under it’s wrap.
But a UPS van, making a last minute stop,
I knew in a moment it would be payday.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
and he whistled, and shouted, and said not today.
"Now, Saltheart! And, Slipnot! And, Fisherwomen and JOHN!
All received their shipping rod tubes this morning at dawn.
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
I yelled as he left, come on that can’t be them all.
So back in the house, with a frown on my face;
with an arm full of boxes, from each mail order place.
All for the kids, but nothing for Dad,
I’d fished far too much, and so I must have been bad.
And then, in a twinkling, as I sat on the floor,
The steady knocking of someone at the front door.
As I drew the door open, whom do I meet,
but John from RI, with his tackle box at his feet?
He was dressed all in Beans, from his head to his foot,
and his clothes made a statement, or was it that look?
A bundle of jigs he had flung on his back,
and eelskins galore were spilling out from his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses; had he been drinking some sherry?
As he entered the house, my dogs went berserk,
and my wife gave us both a very stern look.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
and rigged a 10 footer from reel to the tip,
complete with a swivel, fluoro leader and jig.
Then looked at me smirking as he studied the rig.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
he smiled as he said you know why I’m here,
I’ve come for the Large it’s that time of year.
I said your mistaken, the Bass are all gone
and won’t be back until spring comes around.
He sprang out the door and jumped in his truck
and said I’m disappointed Got Stripers, this is truly bad luck.
You said come catch Large and I come all this way,
To find out you haven’t a clue, how to catch them today.
As he drove away, he yelled out the door,
I might come back if you learn how to fish,
but you better not waste my time on a wish.
I don’t mind travelling I haven’t a care,
but bait me with Large and you better beware
not a damn thing was working, not even my mouse.
My isp was down, I couldn’t connect;
my holiday posts, I’d have to forget.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of computer games, danced in their heads.
And mamma was drinking to calm her nerves down;
this holiday just about makes her melt down.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the monitor to see what was the matter.
I tripped over dozens of batteries spread out on the floor;
the language would be censored as my face met the door.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
made me sad with three months of this crap;
before I could pull the boat from under it’s wrap.
But a UPS van, making a last minute stop,
I knew in a moment it would be payday.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
and he whistled, and shouted, and said not today.
"Now, Saltheart! And, Slipnot! And, Fisherwomen and JOHN!
All received their shipping rod tubes this morning at dawn.
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
I yelled as he left, come on that can’t be them all.
So back in the house, with a frown on my face;
with an arm full of boxes, from each mail order place.
All for the kids, but nothing for Dad,
I’d fished far too much, and so I must have been bad.
And then, in a twinkling, as I sat on the floor,
The steady knocking of someone at the front door.
As I drew the door open, whom do I meet,
but John from RI, with his tackle box at his feet?
He was dressed all in Beans, from his head to his foot,
and his clothes made a statement, or was it that look?
A bundle of jigs he had flung on his back,
and eelskins galore were spilling out from his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses; had he been drinking some sherry?
As he entered the house, my dogs went berserk,
and my wife gave us both a very stern look.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
and rigged a 10 footer from reel to the tip,
complete with a swivel, fluoro leader and jig.
Then looked at me smirking as he studied the rig.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
he smiled as he said you know why I’m here,
I’ve come for the Large it’s that time of year.
I said your mistaken, the Bass are all gone
and won’t be back until spring comes around.
He sprang out the door and jumped in his truck
and said I’m disappointed Got Stripers, this is truly bad luck.
You said come catch Large and I come all this way,
To find out you haven’t a clue, how to catch them today.
As he drove away, he yelled out the door,
I might come back if you learn how to fish,
but you better not waste my time on a wish.
I don’t mind travelling I haven’t a care,
but bait me with Large and you better beware