I ran outta toilet paper this morning. :smash:

STRANDED!!!!


were you a Man?????

Originally posted by fishweewee
I ran outta toilet paper this morning. :smash:

Print off some of the old StriperSniperX posts and use that! ;)

Does anyone know how you put the new roll on the holder?

And should it face the wall or face away from the wall?

And should the color match my bathroom decor, or should I go with white?

Oh, and should I get the extra extra soft kind, or just the extra soft kind, or maybe the not so soft type?

And if it says that is safe for septic systems, is that ALL septic systems, or just septic systems that have been upgraded since 1987?

And, And, And..........

Prove your a man and wipe it with your hand!:eek:

Originally posted by fishweewee
I ran outta toilet paper this morning. :smash:

Rut Ro :eek:

If ya snows melted ya always got leaves...oak works the best :D

don't ever use that soft,soft stuff, you'll only winde up with sticky fingers.:smash:

And should it face the wall or face away from the wall?
It should always face the wall. That way if you get a little overexuberant, when the roll is in freespool it will backlash and bind on the wall intead of running forever as it dumps it's spool on the floor - Remember TP is one instance when you WANT to BACKLASH!

Major tactical blunder. And no one around to re-supply the w.c.

Wanna shake my hand? :laughs:

todays toilet etiquette has been brought to you by Jennifer Ann (Landers????)

always ALWAYS keep a back up of kleenex or something hidden for these tough times!!!!

...oh and the proper way to hang the roll is the "over the top" method":D :D :D

Originally posted by Jenn
...oh and the proper way to hang the roll is the "over the top" method":D :D :D But is that over the top facing the wall? Or over the top facing away?? :bo:

Sit there until it HARDENS and PEEL it off...:bshake:

under 18 your bounced for the day ALL OF YOU!!!!

Do yourself a favor...put off making meatballs until tommorow.
:laughs: :laughs:

Originally posted by mrmacey
under 18 your bounced for the day ALL OF YOU!!!!

Hey, it's NOT MY FAULT I don't know this stuff.....:devil:

Having been married twice, and have had other, uh, "arrangements" from time to time, my experience is men favor the loose flap facing the wall and women like it in front.

Personally, I just left it sitting on the toilet tank when I've lived alone :D

Dear John,
I hate to inform you that it needs to come off the roll facing AWAY from the wall. The paper comes off quick and easy....and if you get TOO MUCH...uh well...lets just say too much is better than not enough!!!!!!! I deeply regret that we dont see eye to eye on this matter and by the way...which way does your wife prefer????;)

And why do they cut it into those little 4" x 4" squares, anyway....you know.....1000 Sheets per roll!!!!!.....Who uses just one of those little sheets?

Though I suppose if ya did, 1 roll would last ya, oh, half a year or so........

...lets just say too much is better than not enough!!!!!!! I deeply regret that we dont see eye to eye on this matter and by the way...which way does your wife prefer????
My wife prefers that it is as far away from my son as possible. He has recently learned how funny it is to flush the toilet 47 times.

I have a 2 year old kid. All of the roll holders are missing (as are the towel racks) and just the pegs remain on the wall.

Because the roll holder is spring loaded, it provides hours of enjoyment being launched from the ground into the bin holding all of the Matchbox cars. This is generally where the holder is found. The Ball launching firetruck he has is not as much fun as the TP launcher (I mean holder).

The roll is usually located as far back on the counter for the bathroom sink as he cannot reach that even climbing on his kiddie stool. Otherwise, the TP will be found trailing from the bathroom to his Matchbox Bin - but it will be near the roll holder :laughs:

John.......:D :D :D

Can I come play, too?:happy:

Oh, man, must be the snow......"Out like a Lamb", my butt.......

Where's the fish, before we all REALLY lose it............

napkin despensers work well, never any over runs or back lashes, just pull a few out as needed, an if you get to many stickum in your pocket fa later to blow ya nose on. now black is the standed color they come in, [from your local coffee shop] but they do paint up well to match your turlet.

Running out of TP, thats when the undies make the ultimate sacrifice.

OK - Thread HijAck! Off to the Scuppers :laughs: before Bloo uses this for some artistic license...

Best to just leave the paper ion a pile on the floor next to the commode where the kids unroll it. John, only two more years till you can hang them up again....

WOW..... you guys/gals need to get fishing !!!!:smash:

Gee... I hope this falls in the 18 and older cat! :rolleyes:

Ok... Since we are on the subject (sort of)... Here's one for any structural engineers out there... (Cause' it's beyond me!)

Look... I'm only 5'7" but I'm pushin' 230. Translated... I'm a Lard Azz! :eek:

Now, I just went to the crappa' (I know. I know. Hang in there though...) and all of a sudden there was a flush on the other side of the wall (From the ladies' room) and then the bowl dropped like 2". I mean, I felt like I was in an elevator that was free fallin'! I was lookin' for the emergency eject handle! :af:

Then, after I picked myslef up from the basement floor, I got to thinkin' ... How much did that "delicate flower" on the other side of the wall weigh to keep the bowl, and my fat azz, suspended 2" until she got up??? :confused:

Anyone???

van your a funny guy!! you must look on here and say to yourself! well i can only imagine<:D :bgi:

I like the paper to come from the bottom.
A friend of mine told me of story of someone we no. It goes like this:
Hey Don can I use the bathroom? Sure you can, But what are you going to do? Go to the bathroom, what the F$#@ you think?
Well are you going to do #1 or # 2?? What does it matter? well if you are going to do #1 use the paper on the right. I f you going to do #2 then use the paper on the Left.
What the hell do you mean Don? Well the paper on the rt is cheap stuff and the paper on the left is good paper. I don't want to waste the good paper for #1.
I don't use paper for #1 I just shake the dew off. Don: O no that makes a mess all over the walls.
NEVER MIND I WILL USE THE WOODS IT IS EASIER!!
This is a ture story
Macojoe

I really get a kick out of these threads.

Im not even gonna try to answear MtnBrz though !!!!!:laughs:
But man am I laughin !!!

GOT PLUNGER?:smash:

:D this is only 2 today

John it sounds like your son needs a playmate :D

MtnBrz1, LMFAO

And while we are on this most important topic the question asks' itself: crinkle or fold?

Now the REAL question is....

Are you a FOLDER or a SCRUNCHER?

:D

No dude...first it's

Do you bidet or not bidet?

European drinking fountains...:yak:

I fell into the turel once cause I fergot ta put the lid down:rolleyes: ya don't drink outta a buday or is it bynite ? I ferget:smash: just be carefull if ya try one out, they'll knok ya marbles off.:smash:

I hate the waves brakin on my arse from the drop

Flush first, then pinch loaf, let the swirling coriolis effect do the work for you.

you guys need to go fish.

here's one for ya :D

THE POOPIE LIST
Bathroom Humor at its finest:

Ghost Poopie
The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.
Clean Poopie
The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Wet Poopie
The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and underwear so you won't ruin them with a stain.
Second Wave Poopie
This happens when you're done Poopie-ing and you've pulled up your pants to your knees, and you realize that you have to Poopie some more.
Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie
The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
Gassy Poopie
It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is laughing.
Drinker Poopie
The kind of Poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
Lincoln Log Poopie
The kind of Poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
Corn Poopie
Self-explanatory.
Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poopie Poopie
The kind where you want to Poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
Spinal Tap Poopie
That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you would swear it was leaving you sideways.
Wet Cheeks Poopie (The Power Dump)
The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt gets splashed with water.
Liquid Poopie
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.
Mexican Poopie
It smells so bad your nose burns.
The Surprise Poopie
You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you're about to fart, but oops.......a Poopie!!!
The Dangling Poopie
This Poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done Poopie-ing it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose. :kewl: :hidin: :jump: :bounce: :boots: :eek5: :claps: :chased: :blush: :bl2: :smash: :gf: :angel:

How ironic I find this thread . I just got done snaking my porcelain bus and there was a big turd on the end of the snake when it came out , pulled it out the water and dump right on the floor . you couldnt pay me to do this kind of plumbing new install can do but not this crap .

toilet paper should be clean and dry how it comes off dont matter as long as it there to come off . If not , thats why we have socks and underwear . In hot weather when there are no under garments it the 2nd and 3rd fingers only and dont stick them out any holes in the wall . youve all heard that joke before .

Originally posted by capesams
I fell into the turel once cause I fergot ta put the lid down:rolleyes: ya don't drink outta a buday or is it bynite ? I ferget:smash: just be carefull if ya try one out, they'll knok ya marbles off.:smash:

:laughs:

Ever try to wipe with the opposite hand that you normally use? It ain't easy, try it and get back to me with the results.

Bidet?
Thats like usin'g a powahwasha on your undercarriage :eek:

This is a VERY VERY informative site....

The Europeans (especially the French) love their bidets.

I used to think that was pretty anal of them (no pun intended)...but when you consider they don't shower, well, I figure that makes them pretty darn lazy.

-WW

A good friend of mine is a plumber, his favortie saying is......


YOUR S%@T IS MY BREAD AND BUTTER !!!!

Some interesting words from #^&#^&#^&#^& Heckman, CEO of U.S. Filter (the largest water filter/treatment co. - acquired by Vivendi awhile back):

"We're #1 in the Number One and Number Two business."