View Full Version : So it took until 3rd grade


RIJIMMY
03-28-2011, 01:07 PM
Wife just called. My daughter was called to the principals office. Apparently calling some girl names, there was some kicking. I'll have to get the whole story (or at least her view) from my daughter tonight. I guess I'll come across as a lousy parent but I'm sort of happy about this. I worry my daughter is too quiet and shy and keeps to her self. At least she is branching out? :smash:
Now I'm all about discipline and respect but calling names and general conflict was just about an every day occurrence when I was a kid. I went to a catholic schools and we were jerks. Insults and name calling were happening all the time on the bus, lav, recess. You name it. i was picked on all the time. I guess I need to get more pc. :confused:

RIJIMMY
03-28-2011, 01:11 PM
and....the vice-principal played the bully card on her.
Jeez.

fishbones
03-28-2011, 01:16 PM
You're doing great if it took until 3rd grade! Schools have really cracked down on stuff like that because of the whole bullying thing. Funny because if kids behaved the way adults did, principals would do nothing but call parents and discipline kids all day long.

It took just over half a year for us to get the first call from the school. My wife got a call last week from my son's kindergarten teacher because he rolled his eyes and said "I know, blah blah blah" to a teachers aid. We had a nice talk over dinner that night and early to bed with no tv. He's been a model student since then.

Raven
03-28-2011, 01:16 PM
Even amongst chickens there is a pecking Order. tread lightly.

RIJIMMY
03-28-2011, 01:28 PM
Y

It took just over half a year for us to get the first call from the school. My wife got a call last week from my son's kindergarten teacher because he rolled his eyes and said "I know, blah blah blah" to a teachers aid. We had a nice talk over dinner that night and early to bed with no tv. He's been a model student since then.

see, it took me @ 30 years to be able to say that. That kids on his way!
Maybe I'll tell my daughter to say next time - "Listen lady, you DID see what happened in Wisconsin, didnt you?" :devil2:

The Dad Fisherman
03-28-2011, 01:34 PM
You should have them meet my nephew....that would change their perspective :hihi:

4 years old the Kid stood up in the middle of pre-school class and announced "Do NOT listen to the teacher, she doesn't know what she is talking about"

personally I love the kid....I think he's friggin awesome...but my Bro-in-law says he gets a call almost weekly.

When he was 2 he took a bag of Candy and my BIL's Van keys and locked himself inside the Van so he could eat the whole bag while my BIL kept pleading w/ him to open the door.....once he finished the bag he unlocked the door and took his punishment like a man...

Swimmer
03-28-2011, 03:38 PM
You should have them meet my nephew....that would change their perspective :hihi:

4 years old the Kid stood up in the middle of pre-school class and announced "Do NOT listen to the teacher, she doesn't know what she is talking about"

personally I love the kid....I think he's friggin awesome...but my Bro-in-law says he gets a call almost weekly.

When he was 2 he took a bag of Candy and my BIL's Van keys and locked himself inside the Van so he could eat the whole bag while my BIL kept pleading w/ him to open the door.....once he finished the bag he unlocked the door and took his punishment like a man...


Thats pretty friggin awesome. Good thing it wasn't something he was allergic too though.

FishermanTim
03-28-2011, 04:24 PM
You should have them meet my nephew....that would change their perspective :hihi:

4 years old the Kid stood up in the middle of pre-school class and announced "Do NOT listen to the teacher, she doesn't know what she is talking about"

personally I love the kid....I think he's friggin awesome...but my Bro-in-law says he gets a call almost weekly.

When he was 2 he took a bag of Candy and my BIL's Van keys and locked himself inside the Van so he could eat the whole bag while my BIL kept pleading w/ him to open the door.....once he finished the bag he unlocked the door and took his punishment like a man...


I wonder where he learned to do that?
Kids that age don't really have the cognative thought process to plan those types of incidents.
Either that kids a genius in the making, or the president of the country!

Remember, kids will say and do the darndest things (mainly because they haven't had their minds bogged down with "pc" filters until they are fully exposed to their environment.
Until then they say and do things with an almost brutal honesty that we, as adults, can only look back on as a distant (wishful) memory.

Raider Ronnie
03-28-2011, 05:01 PM
Raising kids is not easy, especially today !
Best advice ever given to me was from my grandfather.
You have your kids for the 1st 10 years so make sure you spend those 1st 10 years raising them right.
After 10 years it's kind of out of your control with all the outside influences and peer pressure they have to deal with.

The Dad Fisherman
03-29-2011, 05:03 AM
Kids that age don't really have the cognative thought process to plan those types of incidents.


THAT could be your 1st mistake......NEVER underestimate what a kid can think through when they put their mind to it. :hihi:

We compare him to Stewie......:hee:

Raven
03-29-2011, 06:13 AM
still am-lol

My Dad threatened to take me to the Hospital
to have my stomach pumped out
because i ate all the Jelly beans :rotf2:

JohnR
03-29-2011, 06:32 AM
We compare him to Stewie......:hee:

:rotf2:

RIJIMMY
03-29-2011, 07:48 AM
Got a VERY different story from my daughter last night. This whole thing is out of character for her, she is very reserved and keeps to herself.
I'll leave out the details but I'm a little po'd that this kids mom called the principal because there was some name calling and a small kick. Gimme a break.I wonder when parents hear about Helicopter parents they realize that its THEM?
I'll call the principal today and share the other side of the story. I doubt she (principal) took the time to speak with their teachers and get a feel for their personalities before pulling my daughter aside.

Sea Dangles
03-29-2011, 08:27 AM
I would trust the judgement of the educators and leave it at that.If my child was kicked (a little kick) and called names I wouldn't want it to happen again.It's the schools responsibility to make sure the little angel doesn't cross the line again.I also wouldn't see any humor in my child getting out of line or acting disrespectful but I guess I'm old fashioned.If it were my nephew I'd laugh,but not my child.My expectations are different I guess.If it was indeed out of character,hopefully some consequences will prevent a repeat offense.If it's treated like a joke you will reap what you sow.Kids can be mean,especially girls who get catty at a young age.
My oldest son has run into discipline problems in jr. high and that is the only reason he is being waitlisted for private high school.Now he understands the results of his actions,but it's a tough lesson.His grades are great and he takes all honors classes and he just last week entered the jr honor society.But character issues are not ignored by good schools,nor should they be.

RIJIMMY
03-29-2011, 08:53 AM
I would trust the judgement of the educators and leave it at that.If my child was kicked (a little kick) and called names I wouldn't want it to happen again.It's the schools responsibility to make sure the little angel doesn't cross the line again.I also wouldn't see any humor in my child getting out of line or acting disrespectful but I guess I'm old fashioned.If it were my nephew I'd laugh,but not my child.My expectations are different I guess.If it was indeed out of character,hopefully some consequences will prevent a repeat offense.If it's treated like a joke you will reap what you sow.Kids can be mean,especially girls who get catty at a young age.
My oldest son has run into discipline problems in jr. high and that is the only reason he is being waitlisted for private high school.Now he understands the results of his actions,but it's a tough lesson.His grades are great and he takes all honors classes and he just last week entered the jr honor society.But character issues are not ignored by good schools,nor should they be.

Dangles,, your're missing the facts - no teacher or admistrator saw this. it was a Mom calling the school complaining about my daughter. My questions for the principal - did you speak to the other girl directly? Did you speak to their teachers? OR, did you just take what the Mom said as fact and go to my daughter? When the principal questioned my daughter , she didnt tell her what happened, didnt giver her side. She is very shy. My daughter told us the opposite story, that this girl was hassling her. Called her names, and kicked her, She did those things back. She came up to my daughter and said - my number one enemy and hassled her. Thats not my daughter. She barely talks to her friends never mind starting trouble with a stranger. What I think happened is this other girl started and my daughter didnt back down and this girl is looking for attention - she has a whiny Mom that stays home and does nothing so called to protect her precious. Sort of your standard bully IMHO, picking on the quiet kids and having overprtotective parents. I told my daughter that if I find out she is lying she will regret it. Trust me, she will. I dont screw around with my kids and I dont let them get away with anything. I can guarantee that I've talked to my kids teachers more that anyone you know. Even when there are no issues. BUT.... I witness first hand the helicopter parents that believe their fat little spoiled brats are angels and do no wrong. The administrators cater to these people.

The Dad Fisherman
03-29-2011, 10:34 AM
Anything I write could get Misconstrued.....I'm pretty sure you know what to do. I wouldn't listen to any of us here.

The Mom-ification of America continues.....

fishbones
03-29-2011, 11:15 AM
I would trust the judgement of the educators and leave it at that.If my child was kicked (a little kick) and called names I wouldn't want it to happen again.It's the schools responsibility to make sure the little angel doesn't cross the line again.I also wouldn't see any humor in my child getting out of line or acting disrespectful but I guess I'm old fashioned.If it were my nephew I'd laugh,but not my child.My expectations are different I guess.If it was indeed out of character,hopefully some consequences will prevent a repeat offense.If it's treated like a joke you will reap what you sow.Kids can be mean,especially girls who get catty at a young age.
My oldest son has run into discipline problems in jr. high and that is the only reason he is being waitlisted for private high school.Now he understands the results of his actions,but it's a tough lesson.His grades are great and he takes all honors classes and he just last week entered the jr honor society.But character issues are not ignored by good schools,nor should they be.

I would have a hard time trusting the schools judgement if they hadn't heard both sides of the story. Administrators and teachers are terrified of parents who call up and say "my little Johhnie was picked on by another boy", or "so and so called my little Mary hurtful names".
Maybe you think it's best if the schools take care of your children's problems. My son will learn to stand up for himself, while also being respectful of others. In the second week of school this year, a kid a year older was giving him a hard time on the bus. I told him to ask the kid why he was doing it since he didn't even know my son. I also told him to tell the kid he will sit with whomever he wants to sit next to . The kid didn't have an answer why he picked on him and when My son sat in the seat across from him, the kid started being nice to him.

If it's a case of someone being physical with my kid, I want my kid to stop it then and there. He's not going to beat anyone up, but he won't be bullied either. If it's a case of him being disrespectful to another student or a school worker, I want to know about it. I won't tolerate a disrespectful attitude form him because he knows better. He also knows to ignore petty insults and not to run to a teacher about them.

Raising kids is a hard (and rewarding) job. We can either do it ourselves, or let someone else do it. I prefer to do it myself, along wiht my wife who feels the same way as me. That way, my child won't have any excuses when he screws up, which I'm sure he will plenty of times.

Sea Dangles
03-29-2011, 11:23 AM
Never heard the term helicopter parents before and after two referances still don't get the meaning.Sometimes the best action is no action at all.Some parents are truly f'ed up; Last week at my 6 year old sons final basketball game, the kids are warming up.At this age it consists of throwing up some shots and chasing down a loose ball for another shot attempt.Out of the corner of my eye I see a Dad from another team approach my boy to ask for the ball,which my son handed over and went to look for another. The Dad takes the ball and gives it to his kid then comes over to me to explain that his son had been using that ball to warm up with(nutjob).I told him I took no exception to his action but inside I rolled my eyes and thought to myself the poor coddled sport doesn't stand a chance and won't for as long as his father is a tool.

Nothing wrong with caring too much but choose your battles wisely.Nothing wrong with sticking up for yourself and accepting the punishment quietly.She knows you have her back and that's all that really matters.

fishbones
03-29-2011, 11:26 AM
Sea Dangles, does your son play basketball at the Y in town? If so, what team was he on last season?

Sea Dangles
03-29-2011, 11:43 AM
I would have a hard time trusting the schools judgement if they hadn't heard both sides of the story. Administrators and teachers are terrified of parents who call up and say "my little Johhnie was picked on by another boy", or "so and so called my little Mary hurtful names".
Maybe you think it's best if the schools take care of your children's problems. My son will learn to stand up for himself, while also being respectful of others. In the second week of school this year, a kid a year older was giving him a hard time on the bus. I told him to ask the kid why he was doing it since he didn't even know my son. I also told him to tell the kid he will sit with whomever he wants to sit next to . The kid didn't have an answer why he picked on him and when My son sat in the seat across from him, the kid started being nice to him.

If it's a case of someone being physical with my kid, I want my kid to stop it then and there. He's not going to beat anyone up, but he won't be bullied either. If it's a case of him being disrespectful to another student or a school worker, I want to know about it. I won't tolerate a disrespectful attitude form him because he knows better. He also knows to ignore petty insults and not to run to a teacher about them.

Raising kids is a hard (and rewarding) job. We can either do it ourselves, or let someone else do it. I prefer to do it myself, along wiht my wife who feels the same way as me. That way, my child won't have any excuses when he screws up, which I'm sure he will plenty of times.

I think your wrong about schools being terrified by parents calling.If they get a call regarding an incident that was physical it can't be ignored.I think the administrators do probably roll their eyes when a parent is unwilling to just move on after such a minor incident.They did,after all,just notify Jimmy.This isn't an accusation,more along the lines of spreading information which is known as communication.I wouldn't misinterpret this as the school parenting.As the father of three children I've seen the difference and can say without reservation my youngest wouldn't be disrespectful to any adult regardless of circumstance.He knows better, even as a first grader.

Sea Dangles
03-29-2011, 11:48 AM
Sea Dangles, does your son play basketball at the Y in town? If so, what team was he on last season?

Michael was on the Lakers,I've seen you up there coaching on Saturday mornings.I did the same when my daughter played in that gym.Looks like your having fun,that's what it's all about.

RIJIMMY
03-29-2011, 11:52 AM
Never heard the term helicopter parents before and after two referances still don't get the meaning.Sometimes the best action is no action at all.Some parents are truly f'ed up; Last week at my 6 year old sons final basketball game, the kids are warming up.At this age it consists of throwing up some shots and chasing down a loose ball for another shot attempt.Out of the corner of my eye I see a Dad from another team approach my boy to ask for the ball,which my son handed over and went to look for another. The Dad takes the ball and gives it to his kid then comes over to me to explain that his son had been using that ball to warm up with(nutjob).I told him I took no exception to his action but inside I rolled my eyes and thought to myself the poor coddled sport doesn't stand a chance and won't for as long as his father is a tool.

Nothing wrong with caring too much but choose your battles wisely.Nothing wrong with sticking up for yourself and accepting the punishment quietly.She knows you have her back and that's all that really matters.

Helicopter parent is the term used for parents hovering over their children at all times. I went to HR training a year ago and in today's world, parents are calling their kids bosses (post-college) and complaining about their reviews or lack of promotion. Its out of hand.

and they didnt just notify me - I received a written write up that said any further action by my daughter will be considered "bullying" Thats what set me off. How do you go from queitest kid in the class to be a schoolyard bully ? Somthin aint right.

in my example, name calling in the school and a few kicks is not a reason to call the principal. Thats being a kid - thats my opinion. If it was fight or harsher words (other than your ugly and your hair smells bad - what she said to my daughter) I would have a problem. We need to let kids work things out. They need to win and lose on their own. But if someone escalates this on my daughter, i wont sit idly by. Especially when it doesnt add up.

So - I just spoke with the principal. we had a good discussion and she was very happy to hear the other side of the story. She said it definitely filled in the gaps. She said my daughters teacher was suprised because she usually keeps to her self. it appears this other girl has been pursuing my daughter as a friend and my daughter wants nothing to do with her ( must be a lib :) ) and this girl seems to be pretty pushy. I told her Im worried this behavior will continue if they believe its resolved by speaking with my daughter. So she will speak with the other girls parents and give them the story. I told her Im not worried and have confidence , this is not a big deal. So we'll see.

fishbones
03-29-2011, 11:54 AM
Michael was on the Lakers,I've seen you up there coaching on Saturday mornings.I did the same when my daughter played in that gym.Looks like your having fun,that's what it's all about.

I have no idea what you look like, but if you ever see me around, introduce yourself. I spend a lot of my free time at either basketball, soccer or baseball games and practices. I also can be found at Maguires or Buddy's Union Villa once in a while :devil2:.