Not really but....

Have some good friends who refuse to get baby sisters. Take their 6 and 8 year old everywhere. I refuse to have my expensive dinners ruined b/c it's 9:30 and the kids are cranky and they knock over glasses of wine or play with the fire exit doors. Every time we ask them to go to dinner, they bring the kids. If I say "If you can get a babysitter, do you want to go to dinner Sat. night." They say OK, and then late Sat. say they are bringing the kids. If the reservations are for 4, we end up waiting for a table for 6.

Dad is a MIT grad, Yale professor. Mom has a Master's in engineering and neither knows how to discipline their brilliant children. The kids run around restaurants bothering other people. People, waiters, etc. make comments to us and give us the eye - the parents don’t blink I hide under the table. The parents don't even bring a book or a toy to entertain the kids.

Asked them to go to the movies a few nights ago and then out for a drink. I pick a non kid friendly movie. They say no but later call and say we're going to the same movie theater and maybe we all can go out for drinks. I say, we wanted to go to a certain bar and I don’t think it is kid friendly. They say, the kids won’t mind. I end up going home b/c the wife doesn’t want to lie to them and not tell them where we’re going.

Wife says the kids love me. I say its b/c I try entertaining them in the rest. so they don't make a scene.

I'm done.

I would tell them they are being inconsiderate of others by allowing their children to disrupt others, if they can't handle the message screw em life is to short to put up with inconsiderate people.
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I solved this problem since my wife and I have no friends and do not go out to eat with anyone or even have anyone over to the house. Which is surprising since I think I am a friendly guy.

I think you just need to say that the kids are annoying.

If they're truly friends, you need to talk to them. We have a core group of friends, all with kids the same age and we hang out frequently. We clearly say when its a kids or no kids event.
Not knowing them or you, they sounds pretty rude and inconsiderate.

Bye-bye....they obviously don't get the message!

They really do need "no kid zone" areas in restaurants.

Just tell them, We are going out for an Adult Evening...NO KIDS!!! If they can't deal with that then say Oh Well, we're still going.

Just tell them, We are going out for an Adult Evening...NO KIDS!!! If they can't deal with that then say Oh Well, we're still going.

exactly

Elizabeth Warren syndrome
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If they're truly friends, you need to talk to them. We have a core group of friends, all with kids the same age and we hang out frequently. We clearly say when its a kids or no kids event.
Not knowing them or you, they sounds pretty rude and inconsiderate.

Not only is it rude and inconsiderate, it's not fair to the kids either. They shouldn't be taken to a place where they can't act like kids.

We make sure to do things during the day when kids are invited and if it's going to be a night time get together, we tell everyone to get a sitter. It sucks when you have to leave early because you have to get kids home to bed.

And I know RIJIMMY will agree that it's much more fun when you get to see normally well behaved parents let loose when their kids aren't with them.:devil2:

People.....they're the worst.

Sadly it is a scene that plays out all too often...it's great to do things as a family.. but there is a time and a place for everything... and.. parents NEED. to control their children.. and an adult night out is just that.. an adult night out... ... we no longer have that problem ( unless of coarse the resteraunt where we dine is inhabited by a group like you are discribing)... the youngest "children" that dine with us are over 40... but I do feel your pain..

Share a New Year's resolution with them.....that you are going to be clear and consistant when you agree to an adult night out vs. a family activity.

Not only is it rude and inconsiderate, it's not fair to the kids either. They shouldn't be taken to a place where they can't act like kids.



Agreed - My wife always makes excuses for the parents. I give her the example of her brother who calmly takes his son(s) out of the room to lecture them.

I feel bad for the other people eating near us.

It use to be worse when the kids were younger.

When I was a kid it was the threat of taking a walk to the Men's Room with my Dad for that same "Lecture" that kept me in my place.

Nothing drives me crazier than out of control kids

Nothing drives me crazier than out of control kids

Just wait till I post my idea how to reduce the amount of unemployment, I'm thinking it might even bring BF back:uhuh:

:shocked: :hidin:

Wanna borrow my pellet gun?
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I respect people based upon the good behavior
their children have. I don't think i could have
any respect for that couple mentioned who have
let the kids be so unruly and never get a wake up call.
They would certainly get one from me on day ONE.

When I was a kid it was the threat of taking a walk to the Men's Room with my Dad for that same "Lecture" that kept me in my place.

Nothing drives me crazier than out of control kids

Too funny!
I got a walk out to the car where my father and I sat in silence (and hunger), while my sister and mother finished their meals in the restaurant.

That was only needed once. After that is was just "The Look",
because I knew where I was going next.

Sounds like these kids have never really been disciplined before,best of luck to your friends trying to find someone to watch them more than once.
Have your friends been bringing the kids with them for a long time?If this is something that's been going on for a while you might be stuck at this point.

Say nothing and continue on as is or somebody's feelings are going to have to get hurt.Those are the two choices,tough spot to be in.I hope it works out positively for everyone.

pellet gun, might be a bit much, but i got a sweet rubber band gun.

Sounds like these kids have never really been disciplined before,best of luck to your friends trying to find someone to watch them more than once.
Have your friends been bringing the kids with them for a long time?If this is something that's been going on for a while you might be stuck at this point.

Say nothing and continue on as is or somebody's feelings are going to have to get hurt.Those are the two choices,tough spot to be in.I hope it works out positively for everyone.

You hit the nail on the head.

Years ago, I didn't know him very well - only from church. They had just moved into town. He had had a brain tumor and she was in the hospital with premmie twins. One snowy night, after visiting her, he was coming home and he had a small car accident and hit his head. He had no family in the area, and shouldn't have been driving so he called me to take him in to go see his Dr. in the middle of the night. After we get home, one of the premmies past away, so we go back to a different hospital and I'm in the room for a few hours w/the wife (on meds.), him and the deceased premmie waiting for the family and our priest to get there. A few days later, the other premmie past away also. So b/c I was there and stayed, etc. the whole family (parents, sisters, etc) really loves me (at a bday party I can ask for a beer and people want to drive to a store to get one for me :biglaugh:) and I don't want to get someone pissed at me.

After that story....looks like you gotta take one for the team.

Just don't go out with them all the time.

I always say there's 2 kinds of fishing...Fishing and Fishing w/ the kids

Looks like there will be Dining and Dining w/ the kids

Lost 2 preemies... that explains why they don't discipline their children and refuse to go anywhere without them. I'm not saying it's an excuse for being inconsiderate and to allow your kids to piss everyone off, but it does explain why. Unfortunately, their past experiences will probably result in them raising entitled little brats.

I have a good friend who took the approach of limited discipline for the 2 children who are in the same grade as my oldest 2.Father is a pediatrician,mom is stay at home who reads parenting books.Those to kids are now teens and are certainly kids that anybody would be proud of. Another example of there being more than one way to skin a cat.I have always taken a more proactive and heavyhanded approach to discipline with my kids.Teachers,parents etc. always commenting how well-mannered and polite my children are. Unfortunately I have some regrets regarding parenting like most of us.If my kids were disruptive at a restaurant(they would never dare) I would simply cease taking them out to eat.As for fishing;when I go out on the boat and my buddy wants his kid to join us, I say this is a Dad trip.End of story.

Lost 2 preemies... that explains why they don't discipline their children and refuse to go anywhere without them. I'm not saying it's an excuse for being inconsiderate and to allow your kids to piss everyone off, but it does explain why. Unfortunately, their past experiences will probably result in them raising entitled little brats.


My sister-in-law lost one, Sarah, to SIDS 22 years ago and the girl she had after that was brought up no different than the other children. With all due respect to thier college degrees and everything else they possess I think they are lazy people who can't be bother to spend the quality time with the two kids teaching the the rules. I am surprised that they haven't been asked to leave a restaurant.

Reading ahead of my post Specialist mentioned children who were challenged intellectually, these kids weren't though right? My opinon would be substantially different if that were so.

That being said, several years ago Bev and I would eat in a restaurant in E.B. many mornings out of the week. Another couple would come in many of those same mornings. They had a son whose name was Timmy. The help and everyone else nicknamed him talking Timmy. This kid never shut up. After his parents stopped replying to his incessant chatter and questions he would wander, was allowed to by parents, from table to table annoying the chit out of everyone. One fo the customers was a little old lady, cranky at times, retired old school, school teacher. After several months the retired teacher went over to the parents and spoke to them. No one ever found out what she said. The kid never bothered anyone after that. Never did thank the woman.

We all know it's not easy being a parent. When you tell them it is an adult night out no kids, they will get the hint. If they can't find a sitter they won't come. Maybe you could screen a couple of sitters yourself, alot of times it's hard to find a sitter if you run in limited circles. We had that problem, but have since solved it and now have 3 or 4 sitters we can rely on.

I know where you are coming from as one of my friends has a some who is challenged. He is similar to Downs, he lives at a school and comes home for holidays and stuff. When there is a party or cookout and he is there everyone is walking on eggshells, none is having any fun. The other kids are close in age and they all play together and no one has to worry, until he gets there. He is alot older, and lately has been pulling some crap with younger one but no one wants to step up and tell her they fear for their own kids safety, but it has to be done sometimes.

PaulS- you're a good dude. That must've been tough when you barely knew the guy.

Regarding parents and disruptive children, some people are just completely oblivious to how their kids' behavior affects others...

Ban The Kids From Restaurants! And Make Sure They Take Their Parents With Them! | The Great Family Escape (http://www.greatfamilyescape.com/ban-the-kids-from-restaurants-and-make-sure-they-take-their-parents-with-them/)

A restaurant in Pennsylvania has banned children under the age of six. Is that fair? – Cafferty File - CNN.com Blogs (http://caffertyfile.blogs.cnn.com/2011/07/13/a-restaurant-in-pennsylvania-has-banned-children-under-the-age-of-six-is-that-fair/)

true story.. several years ago, I witnessed this handled by a clever owner.. young kids, unruly with parents who let them do as they pleased... other patrons visibly bothered.. the owner quickly recruited two hard drinking lobsterman from the bar area, to ocupy the small table next to the young family..the obnoxious contest began.. the parents complained to the waittres about the very foul language. loud behaviour..(and aroma) of the fellows...the owner came over, and informed tham that other patrons had complained about the childrens noise & behaviour also...perhaps...all offending occupants should just leave?? :hihi: kinda hard to argue when you make it obvious... (BTW.. the fisherman were allowed to resume their seats at the bar afterwords...)

After a few drinks start telling filthy stories and dropping F-Bombs that always works for me.

Would you like to go to Chateau de Fancy Restaurant with us Saturday night? Yes that would be nice We want a quiet night so no kids allowed Oh , we want to bring the kids Sorry , no kids. Maybe we can go to Burger King with the kids another night. Too bad you can't make it Saturday. Bye! :)

Order the most expensive meals you want and then tell them that the tab will be split 6 ways, not 4, and that they have to pick up 4 portions. If they protest, or start with the "but they're just kids" speech, tell them that since they have come to (probably) every dinner with them that they will be considered part of the paying party.

(Of course there's always BK or Mc D's.)

Lost 2 preemies... that explains why they don't discipline their children and refuse to go anywhere without them. I'm not saying it's an excuse for being inconsiderate and to allow your kids to piss everyone off, but it does explain why. Unfortunately, their past experiences will probably result in them raising entitled little brats.

I am not sure that it explains it. Some people just can't say no, or they have different expectations for their kids. We have good friends with kids the same age as ours. The dad will not and has not ever said no to either kid. They even make their own bed times. They are 6 and 3 and it has been that way since day one. Kid wakes up at midnight and parents will sit up til 3am while the kid watches tv until they fall back to sleep. One time at our place, the older kid (3 at the time) had the salt shaker in her mouth. Dad would not take it away or even let mom tell her to take it out of her mouth. Next day we realized the kid went home with our salt shaker. Pretty sure that marriage is not cut out for the long hall

You hit the nail on the head.

Years ago, I didn't know him very well - only from church. They had just moved into town. He had had a brain tumor and she was in the hospital with premmie twins. One snowy night, after visiting her, he was coming home and he had a small car accident and hit his head. He had no family in the area, and shouldn't have been driving so he called me to take him in to go see his Dr. in the middle of the night. After we get home, one of the premmies past away, so we go back to a different hospital and I'm in the room for a few hours w/the wife (on meds.), him and the deceased premmie waiting for the family and our priest to get there. A few days later, the other premmie past away also. So b/c I was there and stayed, etc. the whole family (parents, sisters, etc) really loves me (at a bday party I can ask for a beer and people want to drive to a store to get one for me :biglaugh:) and I don't want to get someone pissed at me.

PaulS, do you have children?

Your friend didn't lose two "preemies", he lost two children and a huge chunk of his heart. That might understandably change how he values his surviving children. It is likely that he sees his family as an extension of himself, a part of him. He wouldn't likely go to dinner without his nose or his left leg, why would he go without his son and daughter? I'm not saying it is right, indeed probably not, but it is for him.

Your wife seems to understand and accept this. Sounds like you married a classy woman. Trust her instincts. I guarantee you that for every person in the restaurant that is bothered, there are 10 who are smiling inside and enjoying the scene.

I don't mind seeing kids in a restaurant as long as they don't
misbehave. A lot of fun to watch.
What I can't understand is where the parents get the money
to take the kids with them out to eat. Got to cost them a fortune.

I can understand with 2 people working and not having a lot of time
with them, they want to be together, but take them to the park or
museum or another million fun places that cost very little and save
the $ for their education.

My wife and I rarely went out to dinner when the kids were growing
up and through their college years. We'd either go to a few local watering holes
and dance or get a hot dog and go for a ride up in the mountains.
Just getting out was the fun part.