View Full Version : Damn women drivers!

01-20-2013, 09:44 AM
This morning on the interstate,
I looked over to my left and there was a woman

In a brand new Cadillac
Doing 65 mph

With her face up next to her

Rear view mirror

Putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away
For a couple seconds...

to continue shaving

And when I looked back she was

Halfway over in my lane,

Still working on that makeup.

As a man,

I don't scare easily.
But she scared me so much;

I had to put on my seat belt

and I dropped

My electric shaver

Which knocked

The donut
Out of my other hand.

In all The confusion of trying
To straighten out the car

Using my knees against
The steering wheel,

It knocked

My Cell Phone

Away from my ear

Which fell

Into the coffee

Between my legs!


And burned

Big Jim and the Twins,

Ruined the damn phone,

Soaked my trousers,

And disconnected an
Important call.

Damn women drivers!

01-20-2013, 09:50 AM
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

01-20-2013, 02:26 PM
Hey! Leave my wife alone...

01-20-2013, 10:21 PM
Thanks buzz I needed that laugh after what I just came from
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

01-21-2013, 12:30 PM
When I was working at TI I would come off 295 onto 95 north and have to get off right away again at 152. In that short distance , there is a lot of traffic , on top of that people coming onto 95 and leaving 95. Its very hectic and your survival instincts say you should be paying attention.

I regularly saw woman with a cell phone in one hand , doing their makeup in the rear view mirror with the other and by default , since I could see both hands , they were steering with their knees.

Anyway , funny story Buzz!

01-21-2013, 04:01 PM
Spotted an elderly male with a cigarette, yapping on a cell phone, and a patch over one eye in my rear view mirror at a light a month or so ago.

I moved over into another lane asap...

01-22-2013, 07:14 PM
HAHA! Love it :)

Bad drivers come in all shapes, sizes & genders thats for sure! I've seen a woman reading the paper, a man using his laptop, etc. but one thing I will never forget is a night about 15 years ago when we were Cape bound camper in tow, after work (late, about midnight) hubby couldnt drive anymore and was exhausted. I took the wheel while he slept and had 495 S to myself, easy cruisin right? 20 minutes later flying out of the darkeness a convertible (yes with top down) SCREAMING by me (well barely, missing the trailer is more like it) I was doing 75 watched the car swerve from grass to grass, they had to be doing over 100 MPH and thought there was no way in hell I wasnt going to pass this car and dead body in another minute or two. Never did, but I to this day will never forget that and have no idea how people can drive that way (had to be 5 sheets to the wind) . People do so scary azz stuff......