Fot the past 13 days I've worked my primary job at 45 +hrs. A week but I've been working a side job as well,in a attic give or take 120º+. I can drink a gallon of h2o but won't pee cause you just sweat it out.
I have a kid in college and like most here I'm not working for recreation. My function in life is to make my kids life easier and not minding s#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&g it up to help out with the bills.

With that saying, for the past 13 days I've worked 153 hours and to the point I woke up Saturday morning at 0130hrs. to fish and release some down time.
But I was sick at both ends.....
Needless to say I didn't fish.
Yesterday I only worked for 4 hrs. And hit the canal for the dropping tide which was well needed and was rewarding.

Today I changed out my rotors and pads on my work van, cut the lawn, laundry, washed 50% of my camper.

I dunno maybe I'm a puss but what are you fools doing for your kids?

Exhausted......
5/0

I dunno maybe I'm a puss but what are you fools doing for your kids?


5/0

everything possible...you only have them for a short while

Bob, you are neither a fool nor a puss... you do all you can for your kids, as our parents, the greatest generation , in my case, did for us.... But part of the equation includes being there, down the road, for their weddings and your grandchildren... So it is up to you to make sure you are taking care of yourself. And in the week you just wrote of, you clearly did not.... It becomes much clearer as the years roll by. Trust me. I did not take time off last year. Not making that mistake this summer. Re-read Clammer's signature....

A friend of mine has 5 kids and works his ass off for them. His usual work day starts at 7 and ends at 8pm.

The irony here is that he is a complete stranger to his kids.

Money is not the solution to being a great parent. Being there for your kids is priority number 1. Being there for sports, class projects, performances, etc....
I'm not saying you are like this or you are doing it wrong but time is worth more than money in my humble opinion.
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5/0 I did the best I could working 4 jobs so my wife could stay @ home until the were teenagers .Glad I did .I,m very proud so say they turned out to be good hard working people , they don,t judge , anyone by any means . honest but not saints & even thru they are in their 40,s I,m there for them & they are there for me ...................them & the grand kids are the reason I,m still around ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I,ve done what I wanted in life , had a good one & I,m ready dore whatever is next .......... seriously this getting old , with the body giving in sucks .>>>>>>>>>>NO REGRETS ><><><:eyes:

Ross thanks for the kind and suppting thoughts, as for our partents they have been through some tough times and we didn't have a clue,because they kept it close to the cuff and gave us nothing but support and love.No matter how hard things were.
Thanks Buddy.


Eben,thank you and I hear ya,I have cloned myself multiple times to be at all of the major events in my kids life,sure I've missed some but don't regret none,I wish your buddy the best in the rest of his journey.


Clammer words well spoken....
Not to toot my own horn but I trust my kids in many fashions they are good and soild and I wouldn't think twice about their decision.
I'm proud but f ing exhausted...

Just want to hear it from guys like you all that I'm not alone and busting my nutz for nothing.

5/0
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Kids are forever. You do your best. You will keep on doing because that is who you are. I believe you are no different than any good parent, and in fact sound like a great one. I think about my dad and all he did. Now I visit him at Bourne national cemetery and know he is content and proud of me, my kids and my grandkids. Do let them see you, show them stuff, take time to pass your knowledge on too. They will appreciate it, but may not even realize it for a long time. Bill
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My friend, even God rested on the 7th day. There is a reason why that rest is so important, we do burn out! We do as we do, because we are men. But keep in mind about the day of rest.

Life is short, as long as everyone important in your life knows why you do what you do. Without shoving it in their faces. Your labor will be appreciated.

It is harder now a
Days to make ends meet as income to cost of goods is out of line. College education is ridiculous. The numbers do not add up.
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you cannot burn the candle at both ends. Rest is of paramount importance to do
cellular repair and allow your body to manufacture health promoting substances.
Eventually you will have a collapse of some kind unless you slow down and take it easier
on certain days. Don't think of it as selfish to protect your health so you'll
still be around in later life and be able to appreciate everything
you've worked so hard to accomplish especially your kids.

Bob, no you are not a fool
but I am not sure what you refer to when you say calling it quits :huh:
Take a break bud
like I said in my text a couple weeks ago, pace yourself, the body needs recovery time, we aren't machines despite what the military may tell you.
You know my feelings, ya do what you have to do.
My dad still works in Boston 4 days a week at 81, he takes the bus in before the sun comes up from Sagamore Beach. I hope I am able to do half what he still does at his age if I live that long. He is my inspiration, and I bet you are your kids inspiration as you set a fine example. Ya gotta earn it.
glad you got some fishin time in, I did too, but luck was not on my side, maybe next time

My Dad had a saying .. "you can work hard....or you can work long...but you can't work hard for long".... that being said.. you need to take care of yourself if you are able to finish
the task you started... that being providing the best you are able to for your children... as others have said.. they grow fast.. enjoy them while they are young... strike your balance...take a breath and a little "me" time. It's not selfish.. it's mandatory for mental and PHYSCICAL health...

You are not alone 5/0. Got 2 kids. My 28 year old daughter moved back in with her baby, was having issues with boyfriend, so that puts more on Dad. My son is 30, and I do what I can to help him out. I do make time for me to chill, it's not enough but I tend to push myself more during the summer - but I have some balance at least.
Like others have said.
Try to make some time for 5/0 if your feeling the pressure.

Any parent who puts fishing or themselves before their kids is an idiot and a fool.
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Rock 9 I sure wish my father had said that to me .....instead of [nothing ] :faga:

Your kids are what keeps you immortal, you live on through them. If you raise them wrong or don't do everything you can for them you risk your immortality.
Work your tail off to ensure they have the best opportunities you can offer them, ensure they know how important they are to you, and spend every moment you can spare with them. I feel it is every parents job to ensure their children have better opportunities than they had growing up.

Living on through your kids and grandkids is the only way to achieve immortality.

Remember what made you who you are.
A great foundation, hard work and DETERMINATION!
(not mommy&daddy paying for everything....nor quitting)

It doesn't sound like "it" was handed to you,, because you're still working your :bshake: off.
Don't feel like you have to hand "it" to your kids. There is so much to be learned when you have to go get "it" yourself. Allow them to achieve that, it will be rewarding for them. Be supportive and guiding, but allow them to learn what is needed to be successful. A lot of kids today think that "it's" owed to them,,,, nothing is owed, it's achieved.

Show them love
Show them responsibility by your own actions as well as delegating them some of their own
Help pay for college, but don't own the whole thing yourself. Only you know what you can afford to do. Don't put yourself in a bad place financially, emotionally or physically.
God only knows, they may come out of college and end up in HVAC?:laugha:

My college plan is this:
He's needs a job.
His pay comes to me...(with him getting very little to no spending money, more of an as needed and "why")
Based on what my wife and I can afford, I take a small portion of his pay and add it to my contribution in making college payments
The rest goes into a secret account for his future
Adjustments get made as needed

Quality of life is important.
Good luck, stay healthy....stay sane.

Bob, no you are not a fool
but I am not sure what you refer to when you say calling it quits :huh:
Take a break bud
like I said in my text a couple weeks ago, pace yourself, the body needs recovery time, we aren't machines despite what the military may tell you.
You know my feelings, ya do what you have to do.
My dad still works in Boston 4 days a week at 81, he takes the bus in before the sun comes up from Sagamore Beach. I hope I am able to do half what he still does at his age if I live that long. He is my inspiration, and I bet you are your kids inspiration as you set a fine example. Ya gotta earn it.
glad you got some fishin time in, I did too, but luck was not on my side, maybe next time

I agree with Bruce. Hang with the kids. I'm guessing they'll really appreciate it. The fist will always be there.

Your Pal,
Rick

Bob, you're not a pus or a fool. We all did it.

I worked for IBM in the 70s and 80s, in Boston. When I came home after the commute to Boston and back, my wife had my dinner in a lunch pail and I went out and mowed 25 lawns a week and did landscaping jobs. In the winter I sold firewood. All with a full time job with 5 to 6 hours of commuting every day. You do what ever you have to do.

Been there done that. The other day talked with my son who is 1500 miles or more away. He said thanks Pa i wouldn't be where I am today without all you did for me over the yrs. some day you'll look back on it all and something your kids do or say will put a tear in your eye.

Any of us really need to be very cognizant of our family life priorities. Most likely (but different for each of us) 1) stay healthy (you are no good to anybody dead, or worse...sick). 2) spend time with those you love (worth way more to you and them than money or anything money can buy), 3) love is sacrificial, especially in regard to 2 (but refer to 1 as well), 4) health is just as much mental as physical (you may need some you time away from those you love to appreciate them more and better contemplate 1,2, and 3, and to just be you), 5) there is no 5 or I forget what the other ones are, but they likely don't matter that much in comparison.

I love you Robert!
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Bob, it doesn't matter what advice anyone here gives you because you're gonna always do everything you can for your kids. That's who you are and that's why you have great kids who look up to you. Keep doing it but make time for yourself. The lawn can go a few days without being mowed and the laundry can wait. Make time to fish and do other things you want to do. No one is gonna think you're being selfish.

And be careful around Jay. He'll tell you he loves you but once he gets what he wants, he moves on to the next dude and stops returning your calls.
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Had the pleasure of meeting Bob's son at togfest, easy to tell Bobs doing something right...
Nice job Bob

Hang in there man! My kids are still little(8 and 6 next week) and between my 40+ hr/week, plus 1.5hr commute 1 way every day, then house stuff, trying to move, helping the inlaws move up from Taunton to us in Peabody, I've fished 3x I think this summer. By the time I get home from work around 1-2:30am some nights, I can't even think about fishing. My friends say just adjust and fish the morning....hahaha, i can barely see straight when my wife gets me up before she leaves for work. My wife and I work opposite shifts so that my kids are never in day care and always with a family member. But it's tough. Sometimes I wonder why I don't act more like some of my friends and throw the kids in day care, or bang outta work more often. But I don't have either of those options in me. So for now, it's fish when I can, and the rest is for my family. Hell, I don't even have friends anymore. They've all stopped calling cause I'm either working or doing stuff for my kids. :/ Your doing the best you can, so keep on keeping on! :)

The fish will always be there.
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For me it comes down to "who will notice your absence?"
It is not the fish
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I feel for you, seems like you never have time for yourself raising a family, but your time will come. Like others have cautioned, if you fail to take care of your mental and physical health, it's a moot question. I worked hard, had family time, but made one or two Saturday's a month available to fish and decompress.

Finding "balance" in life is what most people struggle with most often, I think. Having nice things, or striving to have them, causes us to have to often work longer hours to attain them. Our personal lives suffer because of it, and we start questioning if we're neglecting our families. It's a vicious circle. I think you just do your best Bob. Your kids and wife know how hard you work for them, and they will always know how much you love them. You're a good man, and a good father, and the fact that you're questioning it, shows just how important your family is to you. Finding time for yourself is extremely important to feeling fulfilled though. Was glad to hear you were able to get out and decompress. I work hard, but my family has always been number one, even if we have to pass on finer things that we'd like. I live by the motto my father taught me. He said," I've never judged a man's success by the thickness of his wallet. A man's true success comes in the love he gets from his family." Kids grow way too damn fast, enjoy them while you can, and take care of yourself too! You'll be fine buddy! Wish you the best!
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First off Slip and Ricky, no, I'm not contemplating of jumping off the Tobin or the Bourne bridge.
"Aint nobody got time for that"!

Guys thanks for letting me bend your ears from the calls received,and for reading and responding to my post, my cord had finally snapped after working all of thoses hours, I was caving & needed some help.

As most of you who know me personally and some through heartfelt PM's (which I look forward to meeting in person) BS that we've have been going through together our with own familys you have been a huge crutch,shoulder and helped me find the strength to be stronger than I ever had known, I deeply thank you.

This has been a trying year for me and my family as most of you know, as for the origin of this post I do side jobs to supplement income for my family "living and unexpected things" come up . These side jobs that I do I'm grossly under bidding and it's to the point of not doing it anymore. Hence " calling it quits".thats why when I gave quotes I strongly suggest get 2-3 more estimates.

My son is my 1 helper not only for the help but to teach him how to learn about manual labor but little does he know it's about bonding of a farther and son, I have taught him about low & line voltage, trouble shooting,mechanical fundamentals,and basic understanding how to truly work with your hands which = skilled labor And yyou'll sleep good at night.
It has been truly rewarding and most of you know my son that he's solid IIndividual.
Most of these jobs that I bid are thousands below Actual Co. Bids but the quality dose not differ, my point about quitting was about this I'm tired of busting my nuggets for peanuts and question is it worth it?
Taking time away from family, friends and of course our beloved the stripped ones.

I have true friends that I care about and don't even have the time to call or see, which much of the older Salty's know and understand, life is short, work hard provide and let the chips fall where they land.


Thank you all for being here for you wealth of knowledge and support best wishes as always Bobby:kewl:

Bob, give me a call when you want to fish or just grab a beer. I'll happily put off doing stuff around the house to get out and meet up with you.
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----
,,,,,,My son is my 1 helper not only for the help but to teach him how to learn about manual labor but little does he know it's about bonding of a farther and son, I have taught him about low & line voltage, trouble shooting,mechanical fundamentals,and basic understanding how to truly work with your hands which = skilled labor And yyou'll sleep good at night.
It has been truly rewarding and most of you know my son that he's solid IIndividual. ,,,,,,,,,



That's AWESOME stuff right there!!!
You definitely have things in order and just needed to vent -

Just like a bottle of beer....much better to pour out then burst because it's shaken up a bit.
:buds:

Doing jobs like that for friends or family can get very tricky and emotional. We both know you will always do what's right. So screw everyone and take some Bob time!
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I agree,why do a job on the cheap if it is taking away from fishing or family time? Charge more money and do less side work. Smarter not harder and make it worth your while.
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5/0 and Nightfighter (lyme thread) take the time now. Everyday is a good day to be with family. I lost my brother 15 months ago, he was 28. I have no regrets because when we wanted to be together or could, we were. Maybe that is an extension of how hard we both worked individually, but if we wanted to we would stop everything and be together.

I have a 7 month old boy now, and he is my life. Work, not work, whatever as long as he is healthy. If work gets in the way, I'll quit before I say no to my kid. I work stupid hours too 9.5 by contract, 11 is normal 13+ is usual, and any more than that is almost expected.

This is year 6 of this schedule and I'm burnt out. I've toned it down for my son, but feel the work piling up. It is not good. I'm looking for a new arrangement of work. I hate to leave a job I started but the expectations are exceeding what I value both my time and family life at. This past year I was paid less after losing my brother and having a baby than the two previous years, meanwhile my boss played golf every week through the summer and I ate up his work like it was nothing. Shame on me.
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Point being, time with the family exceeds time at work. Your call

Great group here. Great read. You guys got it together...keep it going. I work on all this stuff every day...with no regrets.

Great group here. Great read. You guys got it together...keep it going. I work on all this stuff every day...with no regrets.

We are lucky to have a great group here,that's why I have no questions about posting my own bag o chit here,alot here see things on the same page as me and it helps when I have doubt.

Chris I hear what your saying but there is the fine line I tread on.These side jobs that I do are for friends (like Newport said) it's a FINE LINE.
But I'll read into each job and help people out when I feel needed hence the low balling effect, but the other side of the coin is working with my boy which is time unmeasurable...
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Nothing wrong with helping out friends,it is something we all do. But the friends of friends.......
Personally,when I have work done I am just happy to have contractors show up and deliver on time. We finally just had central installed a couple weeks ago. Big job as I have forced hot water,13K! I had to find a new electrician as my friend that used to do my work passed about a month ago.(cancer)Kids the same age as my kids....I never would have asked or expected him to work for peanuts,I simply would have felt like a cheapskate as I know he had mouths to feed.
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