61946I'm 58 years old. Up until I was 56 I was one of the happiest guys on gods green earth. The only thing I was missing was true love. In Dec of 2013 I met the girl that I had been waiting my whole life for, the girl of my dreams. She wasn't close to perfect, or very very close to perfect or very very very close to perfect, she was absolutely perfect, one in a billion. It was love at first sight for both of us and for the last two years we have been loving and laughing till we fell asleep in each others arms. She was my fishing buddy and a damn good one at that beating me more than one time. We had a new 22' Mako offshore, the best fishing gear money could by and we had each other on all our fishing excursions. Those fishing trips we the happiest I have ever been in my entire life, heading out early in the morning, waters calm with a nice boat, great gear and the girl of my dreams.

Because of family problems my girlfriend took her life on Nov 22, 2015. I was so bad I was close to the edge and am not sure If I will be able to go on. I have lost my will to fight. My beautiful Mako sits on the side of my house and I cannot imaging every using it again as the sadness of not having her by my side will make it unbearable.

I am putting a picture of her hear so you can see her beauty and envision all the beautiful traits a woman can have. She had a heart of gold and no flaws. I owed it to her to tell the world just how special she was and how I am suffering. I love you Lori.

Sorry for your loss, RIP to Lori
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So sorry for your loss, fish raptor.
I know there are no words to express your grief, sorrow and feelings.
Know that my wife and I will be praying for Lori and for the strength and peace
for you and the families. God Bless you.
Dave

Very sorry for your loss.

deepest condolences to all who loved her, RIP Lori...

That's terrible , sorry for your loss, be stronge

i have to tell you this because i feel
like your so saturated with grief that you'll
try to end your pain thinking to join her
in the afterlife.... it doesn't work like that

each incarnation... a life on earth
is for the purpose to learn vital lessons
supposedly to get closer and closer to GOD
or to achieve perfection, But when you take
your own life you take a step backwards in that
transition....(progression)
so don't make the same mistake.

Time in the afterlife is not really experienced
as there are no calendars, seasons, sunsets ,or clocks.

your next 40 years or so of Life will seem like
just a moment for Lori .... so it is written

you can cherish the memories and stay alone
and miserable or
someday when you've had sufficient
time to manage your pain of the loss...

you might once again stumble into
a second relationship that offers you some measure of
happiness... (hopefully you'll be so lucky)

the greatest thing is that a person always keeps analyzing
endlessly what they could have done to have kept it from happening
and that is basically non constructive... changes nothing.

She would have wanted you to take good care of yourself despite
her act of desperation based solely on emotion. Be logical.

...be thankful for the time you had.... be grateful for the love
you shared... but you still need to Love yourself enough
to take it one day at a time... and fill your life with JOY
where ever (when ever) you can possibly find it.

Nature helps in that regard because of the unfathomable beauty
it bestows upon us.... and when you see it...
think of it as Lori speaking to you in a soft spoken way thru nature to ease your pain.

My heart goes out to you and I'll say prayers for your gal.
You are not alone, I lost my little brother about thirty years ago.
He couldn't find a way out and wouldn't talk about it to anyone.
After getting sober I tried working with others and not all of them made it but those that did are a shinning light amongst men.
I ask you to keep talking with anyone you feel comfortable with and not withdraw from people.
You don't want to hear this know but it will become more bearable as time goes by.
Don't be afraid to stay in touch .
Remember ---just for today. you can do it.

i have to tell you this because i feel
like your so saturated with grief that you'll
try to end your pain thinking to join her
in the afterlife.... it doesn't work like that

each incarnation... a life on earth
is for the purpose to learn vital lessons
supposedly to get closer and closer to GOD
or to achieve perfection, But when you take
your own life you take a step backwards in that
transition....(progression)
so don't make the same mistake.

Time in the afterlife is not really experienced
as there are no calendars, seasons, sunsets ,or clocks.

your next 40 years or so of Life will seem like
just a moment for Lori .... so it is written

you can cherish the memories and stay alone
and miserable or
someday when you've had sufficient
time to manage your pain of the loss...

you might once again stumble into
a second relationship that offers you some measure of
happiness... (hopefully you'll be so lucky)

the greatest thing is that a person always keeps analyzing
endlessly what they could have done to have kept it from happening
and that is basically non constructive... changes nothing.

She would have wanted you to take good care of yourself despite
her act of desperation based solely on emotion. Be logical.

...be thankful for the time you had.... be grateful for the love
you shared... but you still need to Love yourself enough
to take it one day at a time... and fill your life with JOY
where ever (when ever) you can possibly find it.

Nature helps in that regard because of the unfathomable beauty
it bestows upon us.... and when you see it...
think of it as Lori speaking to you in a soft spoken way thru nature to ease your pain.




The pain is numbing and general easy day to day tasks are brutal.

Thank you for you kinds words..... they help and do make a difference.

She made me a better man and showed me was true love really was all about.

I hope to one day take that boat out and somehow smile, even if its a small smile and gently converse and picture her along side of me.

Sorry for your loss.
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So so sorry. Life can be so cruel.
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Honor her by doing the things you both loved.
Please be strong, and know that as much as you loved her, you have people in your life that love you as well.
Take it one day at a time.
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I'm sorry to hear of your loss . My thoughts go out to you . Hang in there it gets easier to be happy as time goes by .

So sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the pain you feel is so overwhelming right now that you cant imagine being happy again but as they say time heals. Sometimes it just takes more time than others

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss,she would want you to be strong.
Be strong for her find and it within and carry on.

You will be in my prayers, I wish you well.
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jeez brother I'm sorry to hear of your tragic turn..... (I'm sure we all are)


hang in there. spend time with the other folks you are close to. and online friends can be very meaningful. when Spring comes back around, try to think that Lori would want you to be happy (and probably catching a fish somewhere)

This is a great first step.
By reaching out to other people who share at least one thing in common with you, ....you can be sure they'll be pulling and praying for you. Being a part of this small community has that wonderful perk as these guys and gals don't hold back on offering support.
As men, we sometimes shut every one out because of our machismo. Most men do not want sympathy, they'll never ask...and toughen up when it comes their way.
When we get shaken up, we need to slowly exhale and ease out our pain. Very few men can keep it bottled up their entire life...and those men are normally those miserable, never happy types...others that try, explode at one point or another...lashing out at loved ones, or taking it out on themselves in one way or another.
Be strong, find Faith in your Creator. Pray that He understood her hurt, forgave and welcomed your angel with open arms. Look friends and family in the face when they talk to you....tell them "no", you're not ok. You need them, you need their company, their support. Share some of your memories of Lori with them...explain how much of your life she was and how much of a void was left behind. The ones that truly care and love you will help by trying to fill those voids until the time is ready, IT'S IMPORTANT TO ACCEPT THAT HELP. Simply having someone to talk to, regardless of the conversation will help heal the hurt.
Oddly enough, as most have said...Time is an incredible healer. Although you'll never forget her, it will be easier to move forward as weeks turn into months and so on.
It's very important to not spend much time alone during this period. Winter can be tough, never mind the holidays..., join a gym...hit the weights to release tension. Ride the treadmill and force yourself to start a conversation with someone.
It's important to not sit idle by yourself. You will only drive yourself deeper into depression.

I will pray that you find strength in the life that you still have ahead of you. Remember the example you need to set for those watching you (your friends, your family...your younger generations). Show them strength, show them resilience....you can survive this.
God - Speed to you -

SO sorry for you loss of the one you loved & also your partner .

I have no words of wisdom,, everyones beliefs are different so there are no right & wrong answers .

I pray that your have a support system . be if family & friends ................ don,t shy away from them .enbrace them .

The only thing I can tell you from experience & for a fact .is that is it wasnt for nature ............mostly the sea my life wouldn,t be there way it is now ><>< ,my life is far from perfect & at times it sucks.

But its a heck of alot better that it could have been ...&& personally we all have our own beliefs on the . there after .......... to me ......LIFE is not a dress rehersal >><

I feel for you & will be thinking of you >>>>>>>>>Mike

Sorry for your loss.

Sorry for your loss.

So sorry for your tragic loss .
Raven's words are true. She sounds like an amazing person and you were extremely lucky to have her in your life. Carry on her legacy and make her proud . She would want you happy and enjoying life . When you're ready to get back on the water, p.m. me, you are welcome on our boat .
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I'm sure that the memories of the time you had together will be of comfort.

Sorry for your loss.
Just try to take things one day at a time and if that is difficult try taking it one hour at a time.

Time heals all wounds, but in order for that to happen time must pass first.
This is a good place to vent we are always here to listen

Fish raptor,
My sincere condolences. Time will heal but please seek professional counseling if you have any more thoughts of not being able to cope.

Condolences on your loss.
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Hey bud. I am sooo sorry to see this and so truly sorry for your loss. As painful as it has been to you, make it through one day at a time, to the next, and don't do anything that will bring the same pain to others. Please see or call someone when or if it gets too hard - I'll give you my number if you want to call someone.

Godspeed, in time the pain will continue to lessen

This sort of thing can destroy you as well. That is not what she would have wanted and letting it happen is a dishonor to her. See a professional psychologist and/or grief counselor who has the education and experience to help you through this. Do it for her sake as well as your own and the sake of those who love you.

So sorry for your loss. Many wise words in the posts above this one. Heed them, stay strong.

So sorry for your loss. T's & P's sent to you and your families.
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Very sorry for your loss, God bless you and may he give you the strength you need going forward with any help you may need. That is more than most can handle.

So sorry for your loss. Definitely seek help (or even post here more) if you feel you need the support. She will always be with you, so start making plans to get that boat out again

As others, I can't express how bad I feel for you. Please do what you need to do to deal with this loss. There is no shame in getting professional help. I've done it on a couple occasions and it does help... more than you might think.

Sorry for your loss

Just remember, our lives are like a book. There is a beginning and an end, but it is also filled with many chapters. This is a bad chapter, and it is up to you to make the next one better. Stay active, seek the company of others, and be gentle on yourself.. And as others have wisely stated, seek professional help if needed.

As far as fishing on your Maco goes, have you considered mentoring a child who needs a positive male role model?? I would not suggest this right away or on your first trip out on the boat, but after time, you can create new joy and have a positive effect on a young person.. just an idea..

I am very sorry for your loss.
You were blessed to have known such a beautiful person.
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Very sorry for your loss. Stay strong!

Very sorry for your loss.

So sorry, really, just so sad that this happened to you, and to her loved ones. I see that child in one photo, and pray that her pain eases, as well as yours. Beyond that, I don't have the right words.

Hey bud. I am sooo sorry to see this and so truly sorry for your loss. As painful as it has been to you, make it through one day at a time, to the next, and don't do anything that will bring the same pain to others. Please see or call someone when or if it gets too hard - I'll give you my number if you want to call someone.

Godspeed, in time the pain will continue to lessen

This sort of thing can destroy you as well. That is not what she would have wanted and letting it happen is a dishonor to her. See a professional psychologist and/or grief counselor who has the education and experience to help you through this. Do it for her sake as well as your own and the sake of those who love you.

Bernie, these are two well thought out posts. I have struggled in composing my post for you. Don't know the facts. Doesn't matter. Be fulfilled that the two of you shared love in that chapter of your lives. Each came to that phase from different roads. Now the road has taken a turn. Not of your doing. Do not take that turn for yourself. Stay amongst the living. Your grief may well be followed by anger. The new road is long, and painful. If you are drawn to that other road, call one of us. Not to be cruel, but I can assure you I will be your biggest nightmare if you think that is the road to follow. My best to you. PM me if you want to talk and I'll get you my number. Ross

My deepest condolences, will be praying for you to heal.
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HEY!!!!FISH RAPTOR!!!!
I'm THINKING OF YOU!
HANG IN THERE. You can do it.
You're not along. We have your back.
Hang in there

HEY!!!!FISH RAPTOR!!!!
I'm THINKING OF YOU!
HANG IN THERE. You can do it.
You're not along. We have your back.
Hang in there



I'm trying to hang in there.....
since I wrote the original post I have had some very sad, shaky and uncertain moments and bad thoughts.....

I just met with her youngest daughter moments ago, they invited me for dinner and it helped quite a lot. I am still uncertain of the near future but trying to keep my head above water.

I am meeting with a couple that we were friends with prior and they are taking me out to dinner just to talk.

I am also meeting on friday with 2 gals who also were very close to lori and they are in the profession needed to help me. We are meeting for coffee and talking.

I don't know if I am any better but I am no worse...... I guess that is a a good thing but not certain.

I am stable as of now but fear a dark moment might overtake me.

Trying to find reasons to ........ is difficult but "talking" to her and making believe she can hear me is helping. I know that sounds crazy but .......

I wish to thank everyone for their kind words, their thoughts and concerns. I would have never guessed that a site for fishing would have such a vast number of compassionate people.

If I make it though this I hope someday I can help someone else.

God bless you all.

if pic come through it is beautiful gal on far right. The other two are her daughters. Her soft smile could stop a loaded freight train. When I said she was one in a million I wasn't just using words..... she was "one in a million"

Not if....you will make it through this. Great picture. Don't lose sight of her two girls in that picture. She also lives on through them. Be there for them, as well as yourself. Sounds like you have lined up some close friends and professionals who will help you get through this, and you helping them as well.

Not if....you will make it through this. Great picture. Don't lose sight of her two girls in that picture. She also lives on through them. Be there for them, as well as yourself. Sounds like you have lined up some close friends and professionals who will help you get through this, and you helping them as well.


This. Reach out to us if you need to, reach out to the professionals as well. We are all here for you.

Listen, I'm not sure anything I can say will help your pain right now but please remember the following:

God never gives you more than you can handle. There are guys here that have been through horrific episodes in their lives. Not trying minimize yours but we all have endured physical and mental pain.

5/0 just went through loosing 7 family members and his dog in one year.

In 2003 I had 10 operations including a quad bypass. 6 months later I was diagnosed with cancer. Then my company fired me because "they were going in a different direction".

We have all lost loved ones and their memory never fades nor does the pain diminish. But life goes on as yours must.

Remember, failure and giving up is NOT an option. Just keep fighting if for nothing else but Lori's kids and her memory.

Hey , I,ll take a ride to Burnt Hills , Ny .where ever the f uck that is .....if I can help ya :sled:

Fish Raptor.
Keep talking,,stay in touch with us.
We need you buddy.
I want you to stay away from the stinking thinking.
We've got your back.

Sorry for your loss!!
My wife of 35 years has been meeting with the Grim reaper as of late be between hosptail and rehab since Aug. just gets worse and worse! Between losing my mom in 2012, my uncle 2013, getting disabled ( lost kidneys) I have not been good!
But the guys here and my site have been so great I keep going! Have not fished in 2 years, but have a boat again, not much but it will get me out, hope to be on the water next season!
I have 2 new grandchildren and a 3rd on the way Thats what keeps me going now that and pray!
He really listens!!

That really sucks in no other words. Talk about it as much as you need . Life sure throws you some sad twists at times.My condolances. Try to keep your head up an remember the good times.

I am 56 years old and my wife is 53. I met my wife 34 years ago in college and we have been married for 29 years. Like your girlfriend she is my all everything, the smartest most driven person I have ever met and the center of my two daughters and my universe. In July 2014 she was diagnosed with stage 3 bile duct cancer. She had surgery to remove half her liver followed by 6 months of chemo followed by 2 months of radiation. She had one clean scan but three months after the radiation the cancer was back. She had three cycles of another chemo before it was determined it was not working. On October 30 of this year she decided to stop treatment enter Hospice and was given 2-3 months to live.

My world didn't go instantaneously dark like yours but it gets a little dimmer each day. I have spent the past six weeks reviewing wills, insurance policies, beneficiary forms, pre-planning a funeral and picking out our final resting place. We talk and laugh, we talk and cry and sometimes we just sit hold hands and say nothing at all. My most difficult times are at night when she is in bed, it's when I feel the most alone. I try to text family during that time, it helps. I don't think past the next day.

Your grief came upon you all at once and mine is building. So why do I write this? I have 20' Maritime Skiff that has sat for 2 years unused and like you I can't see a time when I will use and enjoy it again. I said to my wife I'm going to sell it but she told me I couldn't. She told me there would be a time when I would enjoy it again and when I was out fishing during a beautiful day she would be there with me. She also made me promise I would never cause myself any harm. I'm sure these would be the same words you would hear from your girlfriend.

Seek out a grief counselor. Talk to someone, talk to everyone.......

This thread makes me sad, especially since it is the Holiday season. Never forget Clammers words to enjoy what you have. It is difficult to offer advice in a situation like this,especially with strangers. It makes me want to hug the people I love.
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This thread makes me sad, especially since it is the Holiday season. Never forget Clammers words to enjoy what you have. It is difficult to offer advice in a situation like this,especially with strangers. It makes me want to hug the people I love.
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Very well said, Chris.
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Raptor, you don't know me, I offer this in the hopes that it may help.

I fell in love with a girl when I was 20 and at UCONN. She was truly my best friend and the love of my life. We had a spectacular relationship, we couldn't believe how happy we were together. And if you asked every single one of our friends "which couple do you know, that has the best relationship", every single person would have said me and her.

A year after I graduated, she was still in school. I had made vague plans with my older brothers to spend a day in NYC in the diamond district to buy an engagement ring for her graduation present. Before I did, she was killed in a car accident.

Like you, I was certain that my world had come to an end, that life could never be as bright as it once was, that there was almost no fathomable reason to go on. I could not have been more devastated. I lost 45 pounds in about 5 weeks. I had chronic nosebleeds from my blood pressure, which was measured once at 210/160, I was on blood pressure medication for almost 2 years. Food tasted like dirt. Music had no sound. All I could feel, the only thing I was capable of feeling, was loss. Nothing else, just loss. My days were horrible and my nights were worse, it was an unescapable nightmare.

Fortunately for me, I had a 6 month-old golden retriever that we planned on raising together. A few months after the crash, I took him for a hike at a local state park. There is a nice view of the lake from the top of a hill. We sat there (I swear that dog would sit there because he loved taking in the view). I gave him a biscuit. He licked my face. Down below at the lake, some little kids squealed with delight as they caught a fish with their Dad. It was a crystal blue sky, with a slight, refreshing breeze. I took a few deep breaths, and I swear I could feel her telling me that she wanted me to go on with my life. I looked around - at my happy loving dog, at the beautiful scenery, at the people enjoying the lake, and I decided that while there was a chance I would never be in a relationship again, I could still find beauty and meaning in this life.

Many years later, I doubt that 2 consecutive hours have gone by that I don't think about it. But time has worked its magic. I learned first-hand that the human heart and spirit really have an amazing capacity to heal. For me, it helped to have people I trusted, to talk to, because I had some really dark days. That's all part of grief, I think.

I believe that my former girlfriend is in a spectacular place right now. I believe she is happy and healthy, surrounded by her loved ones that passed first. I am certain that she is glad I put my life back together again. And I am certain that I will see her again some day.

Hang in there. Grief can be brutal and agonizing, it can push you right to the very limits of the human capacity to tolerate pain. It can push you right to the limit. But the amazing thing is, we can come back from the edge of that abyss.

I will be praying that eventually, your anguish will diminish, as mine did. Please hang in there, just keep breathing, talk to people you trust. And eventually, look around like I did, and try to find convincing evidence that despite tragedies that hit many of us, life does go on, and it can still have beauty and meaning.

May God Bless you.

Raptor, you don't know me, I offer this in the hopes that it may help.

I fell in love with a girl when I was 20 and at UCONN. She was truly my best friend and the love of my life. We had a spectacular relationship, we couldn't believe how happy we were together. And if you asked every single one of our friends "which couple do you know, that has the best relationship", every single person would have said me and her.

A year after I graduated, she was still in school. I had made vague plans with my older brothers to spend a day in NYC in the diamond district to buy an engagement ring for her graduation present. Before I did, she was killed in a car accident.

Like you, I was certain that my world had come to an end, that life could never be as bright as it once was, that there was almost no fathomable reason to go on. I could not have been more devastated. I lost 45 pounds in about 5 weeks. I had chronic nosebleeds from my blood pressure, which was measured once at 210/160, I was on blood pressure medication for almost 2 years. Food tasted like dirt. Music had no sound. All I could feel, the only thing I was capable of feeling, was loss. Nothing else, just loss. My days were horrible and my nights were worse, it was an unescapable nightmare.

Fortunately for me, I had a 6 month-old golden retriever that we planned on raising together. A few months after the crash, I took him for a hike at a local state park. There is a nice view of the lake from the top of a hill. We sat there (I swear that dog would sit there because he loved taking in the view). I gave him a biscuit. He licked my face. Down below at the lake, some little kids squealed with delight as they caught a fish with their Dad. It was a crystal blue sky, with a slight, refreshing breeze. I took a few deep breaths, and I swear I could feel her telling me that she wanted me to go on with my life. I looked around - at my happy loving dog, at the beautiful scenery, at the people enjoying the lake, and I decided that while there was a chance I would never be in a relationship again, I could still find beauty and meaning in this life.

Many years later, I doubt that 2 consecutive hours have gone by that I don't think about it. But time has worked its magic. I learned first-hand that the human heart and spirit really have an amazing capacity to heal. For me, it helped to have people I trusted, to talk to, because I had some really dark days. That's all part of grief, I think.

I believe that my former girlfriend is in a spectacular place right now. I believe she is happy and healthy, surrounded by her loved ones that passed first. I am certain that she is glad I put my life back together again. And I am certain that I will see her again some day.

Hang in there. Grief can be brutal and agonizing, it can push you right to the very limits of the human capacity to tolerate pain. It can push you right to the limit. But the amazing thing is, we can come back from the edge of that abyss.

I will be praying that eventually, your anguish will diminish, as mine did. Please hang in there, just keep breathing, talk to people you trust. And eventually, look around like I did, and try to find convincing evidence that despite tragedies that hit many of us, life does go on, and it can still have beauty and meaning.

May God Bless you.
Great post Jim. (well, heartbreaking but you know what I mean)

Such a sad and tragic story, my goodness I'm so sorry for your loss, T&P's.

Great post Jim. (well, heartbreaking but you know what I mean)

I know what you mean, my friend!

If I have learned one thing in life, it is this - love always wins in the end. Love can certainly lose some gut-wrenching battles, but it can never, ever, lose the war.

LOVE ALWAYS WINS.

Fish Raptor
Just thinking of you buddy. Hope your spending time with your gal's daughters.
Stay in touch with this site. Keep talking. Keep thinking out loud.
Your not alone.

Thoughts and prayers brother, my cousin took his life years ago and I still can't think about it, in the short term you are doing the right things to move forward. For the long haul, time will heal you, just keep at it and keep yourself surrounded with friends and family.

Fish Raptor
Today and tomorrow are hard days to get through . Dont be alone ! Be with people you love and who loved your girl . It will help to be around like minded people for support .

Please Try and Have a Nice Day

Fish Raptor thinking of you this morning bud. Never met you, but I wanted to let you know I was thinking of you this morning, as is most of us, and to let you know we care and want you to heal. Tight lines and look at how much you do have. Frank
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X2.

Sending you good thoughts and hoping you are well on this holiday.
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Hang in there pal!
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plan some activities.... stay working on stuff
keep that mind focused on chores, errands,
small tasks, whatever gives your - mind a break.

clean
every square inch an opportunity to make it nice

Dude. She is with you every day. Talk to her out loud and know she hears you. Make your life a partnership with her. Walk with her every day. We all suffer devastating losses. Its part of life unfortunately. God has a plan for you. Trust in Him.

I just saw this, and I am truly sorry.
One thing I know is that time is a great gift given to us to handle the pain of losing a loved one.
Cherish the memories my friend , but please don't live in the past. That's not good. You are given a new day every 24 hours , live in this day and have faith that all will get better. It does my friend. God be with you and may your Lori rest in peace
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I have not been on this site since my earlier posts. i reread most and wish to thank everyone for their kind words. I went to counseling for a week but it didn't seem to help. We suppose to follow up with specialists but lost my will to try. It has been several weeks. I am the planning type person and have to have everything in order.... that is what I have been doing for the last month. I do not wish to rehash all of my fears and sadness and depression. I am still at the point where I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. My biggest fear is I know if the weather starts to turn warm and it's time to get the boar ready for the summer I will break down horrifically as I know I will not have her by my side. I am still fighting thought. You guys are really genuine with your kind words..... I never would have guessed a bunch of fisherman could be so compassionate. I thought I'd ad a pick of Lori landing a Blue trolling using a school bus I believe. Boy was she happy that day. We had 300 yards out of 60# braid on the Talicas and when he hit he leaped out of the water immediately. I wish I could go back and do that again.... I had so many big plans for this year at the Cape. I got to know lots of shoals and fishing spots, all in the GPS now, was going to head to Race Point for the first time and a host of others... I need to find a fishing partner otherwise my sadness and depression will get the best of me.

take it one day at a time, you now have another angel watching over you. cherish your time here knowing someday you will be together again.

Brace yourself for a Cheesy saying, but here it goes. "When you are going through hell, don't take a seat.. Keep going".

You will come out the other side, just give it some time.
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take it one day at a time, you now have another angel watching over you. cherish your time here knowing someday you will be together again.


I can HONESTLY say that if I DEFINITELY knew that I would see her again someday, somehow I would snap out of this severe depression and sadness and my life would be back to normal. It's just the horrifying thought that that i will never talk to or touch that one in a billion girl ever again.

My family has you in our thoughts and prayers from when you first posted,my deepest thoughts go out to you,but you must keep in mind that we are all here for you,along with your lost one.

She is with you every day and night, she would want you to be strong for her kids set the benchmark for them teach them how to be as tuff as nails.
Focus on them and see your girl through there eyes,this will be your salvation.

Be a rock make things happen yet once again, life is short and death is eternal.
You will be with her again but until then make her happy and be strong,she would want you to hit those new spots and land that unspeakable cow.

I wish you well bud,I will cosistantly pray for you and her daughters.

5/0
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6 years ago my sons mom gave me the boot and I was devastated. I thought I would never find someone as cool and as good a match for me as her. Then one day out of the blue I met a girl that took my breath away. Only problem was she was from Colorado. I visited her out there a few times and vice versa and she ended up moving here. My point is never give up. You only live once and to find happiness you have to move on when the time is right.
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In August, God took back his angel from me. He has bigger plans for her I'm sure. She was connected to my soul over 42 years, never to be replaced. I do feel her presence around me and take great comfort in that.
The pain is real, but so is the healing. Be her strength now. Souls that special always find each other again.
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Fish Raptor, you mentioned you still can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
It takes so long to finally see it, but it will come. That's the hard part, waiting.
From my own experiences it will break a little at a time. It's like climbing stairs,
rest at each step and if you slip back one it's ok, it will make you stronger as you climb.

You are doing the very best thing by getting professional help,
don't give up on it, keep going back no matter what. You are a STRONG person for seeking it.
There are times we have to live 1 minute at a time with that dread feeling, but you will get through it.
You have a lot of people who sincerely care about you, as evidenced by this web site.
Take strength from that and know at the end of your suffering you will be able to help others
through their trials because of your new found wisdom and empathy.
We are all in this life together.
God Bless you,as he will, and hold on no matter what.

Fish Raptor, you mentioned you still can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
It takes so long to finally see it, but it will come. That's the hard part, waiting.
From my own experiences it will break a little at a time. It's like climbing stairs,
rest at each step and if you slip back one it's ok, it will make you stronger as you climb.

You are doing the very best thing by getting professional help,
don't give up on it, keep going back no matter what. You are a STRONG person for seeking it.
There are times we have to live 1 minute at a time with that dread feeling, but you will get through it.
You have a lot of people who sincerely care about you, as evidenced by this web site.
Take strength from that and know at the end of your suffering you will be able to help others
through their trials because of your new found wisdom and empathy.
We are all in this life together.
God Bless you,as he will, and hold on no matter what.

Hopefully you can be helped from Dave's wisdom. He is such an insightful person. Godspeed

You need to think things a bit differently
like ...the best chapter thus far has come to an END
not your Life.
The story goes on...there's more to be written!
Time heals all wounds. You mentioned needing a new fishing Partner.
Well you carry lori in your Heart with you when fishing.
There are Other People that depend on you to be there for them
as they NEED you to be strong and to celebrate her Life as
you Knew it to be.

Just another reason why she was so special. Lori and I always had a standing joke between the two of us. Anytime she ask me to do a chore or favor for her my reply was always "sure..... for a quarter"...

So for my birthday she bought me a nice quality Fishing creel. When I unwrapped it she said "open it".... I ????? I didn't know what she was talking about...open it ??

She flipped up the fish that is hinged to the top and it opened up a Piggy bank slot. She said now you have a spot for all those quarters. She also gave me 3 fishing books she bought at the Cape. She knew exactly what to get to make me happy. I told her that the Fishing Creel bank was the nicest gift I had every received in my life and I meant it.

On the Christmas before I opened up a box which had an 8 1/4" GRS Big Water trolling Pike lure. These are all hand made and pretty expensive. She new the two colors that I already had so she got me a different color. It's get better..... She knows that I have a thing about having "two" of everything. One to use and one to put safely away should I loose the first one......so she bought me two. Do you believe it. That is just one tiny example of why she was so special. The GRS will never see water as it has to much sentimental value and I would be terrified of loosing it, but the idea of catching that big cow could also have special meaning. 62406

62407

the more examples you remember of Lori's generosity and special thoughtfulness
the warmer you'll feel . those were very nice gifts for sure.