Always knew you were one to :eyes: right through all the :bs: and :read: better than most :scatter: brained :morons:

Einstein still Rules, it was a loose connection!
 

From the department of “If it sounds too amazing to be true, you probably forgot to carry the three,” Edwin Cartlidge at Science Magazine is reporting that the much-hyped report about subatomic particles that could travel faster than the speed of light, violating all sorts of rules of physics, was in fact probably the result of a snafu involving a fiber optic cable and a GPS receiver.

According to sources familiar with the experiment, the 60 nanoseconds discrepancy appears to come from a bad connection between a fiber optic cable that connects to the GPS receiver used to correct the timing of the neutrinos’ flight and an electronic card in a computer. After tightening the connection and then measuring the time it takes data to travel the length of the fiber, researchers found that the data arrive 60 nanoseconds earlier than assumed. Since this time is subtracted from the overall time of flight, it appears to explain the early arrival of the neutrinos. New data, however, will be needed to confirm this hypothesis.

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice in reviving her husband's libido..

'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor.

'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.'

'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.'

It wasn't a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress. The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!'

'Really? What happened?' asked the doctor.

'Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent me cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!'

'Why so terrible?' asked the doctor, 'Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?'

'Feckin jaysus, 'twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin here, I'll never be able to show me face in Dunkin Donuts again!'

:btu:

Stole off of FB, have a nice Labor Day:

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rdgrade."
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last six questions wrong...

My wife has been telling me about this huge bird in our yard that occasionally sits on deck railing. Well it landed there a short time ago and i got to see it. Grey and white back, with a tan chest with brown flecks. It flew down towards the garden where the mate was waiting. Took some pics wfith phone but I dont know if the bird is identifiable from the pic. Will post a little later.
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

President obama should do something about this....!!!

no wait , he has to ask congress first after he wipes his new dog sh it off
his shoe on the old antique crappy desk he heh heh

THE PERFECT HUSBAND:

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.

A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000."

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up.

The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.

He turns and asks,
"Anyone know whose phone this is?

my has the World of Mr Sadness changed.... how's that change workin for ya? :)

Won hung low...
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

Oh wee wee. :hidin:
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

take it from Cosmo
 

Author unkonwn:

Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.

“Follow me son” the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people. “First we swim around them a few times
with just the tip of our fins showing.” And they did.
“Well done, son!

Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing.” And they did.

“Now we eat everybody.” And they did.

When they were both gorged, the son asked, “Dad, why didn’t we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?”


His wise father replied, “Because they taste better without the schist inside!”
Now you know

:wall:

Davey:wave:

Happy Thanksgiving. Still miss fishing with you

You've seen all the commercials. But what really happens when
you ask for help with an erection lasting more than 4 hours?

I walked into a drug store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.
The woman I was speaking with said she was the only pharmacist
and since she and her sister owned the store, there were no male
employees.

She asked if she could help me. I said that I really would have
preferred to speak with a male pharmacist. She assured me that
she was completely professional and whatever it was that I needed
to discuss, I could be confident that she would treat me with a high
level of professionalism.

I reluctantly agreed and began by saying, "As a shy man, this is
tough for me to discuss, but here goes. I get erections every day
that last more than four hours. This condition causes me a lot of
problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you
could give me for it?"

The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll talk to my sister."

When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and this
is the absolute best we can do:

* 1/3 ownership in the store,
* a company pickup truck,
* a king size bed and
* $3,000 a month in living expenses."

Canadians Version of David Letterman's Top 10. Just makes you want to shake your head in disbelief, and, just maybe choke someone in charge. This is Canada's Top Ten List of America's Stupidity.

*Of course we look like idiots - we are!*

*#10* Only in America... could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000 per plate *Obama *campaign fund-raising event.

*#09 *Only in America... could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when they have a black President, a black Attorney General and roughly 20% of the federal workforce is black while only 14% of the population is black, 40+% of all federal entitlements goes to black Americans - 3X the rate that go to whites, 5X the rate that go to Hispanics.

#*08* Only in America... could they have had the two people most responsible for the tax code, Timothy Geithner (the head of the Treasury Department) and Charles Rangel (who once ran the Ways and Means Committee), BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.

*#07 *Only in America... can they have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash.

*#06* Only in America... would they make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege, while they discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just' magically' become American citizens. (probably should be number one)

*#05 *Only in America... could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country's Constitution be called *EXTREMISTS.*

*#04 *Only in America... could you need to present a driver's license to cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote.

*#03 *Only in America... could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. Oil company (Marathon Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes (Nike).

*#02* Only in America... could you collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a Trillion dollars more than it has per year - for total spending of $7 Million PER MINUTE, and complain that it doesn't have nearly enough money.

*#01 *Only in America... could the rich people - who pay 86% of all income taxes - be accused of not paying their "fair share" by people who don't pay any income taxes at all.

That should be pined in the poltical thread Buzz i enjoyed reading this.
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

shocking
even more shocking that OBAMA HASN'T DECLARED
Basket ball be taught in preschool

Little racist as he prefers golf.
Posted from my iPhone/Mobile device

is it wet yet?