There in lies the problem.....That's an Oxymoron if ever I heard one.

I've negotiated clearance for 3 nights each week. 2 week nights and one weekend. She also understands if there seem to be big fish around in good numbers that I might get out another night or two. The reverse is true too. If she's got stuff she wants to do then I may have to sacrifice some nights.

dont forget to remind her that the season is almost over- then she can have you all winter.

You mean, "I can't wait for the winter so we can spend more time together".:love:

I set one day each weekend to spend with her, regardless of how good the fishing is. If the calls are coming in fast and thick with reports that indicate it's better than usual she relents and let's me go.

Like Capesams, I go after she is tucked away for the night. I always said the best thing about being a striper fishinerman is that most often it's better in the wee hours of darkness. So it works.

She understands, to a point, my addiction. Marriage is a two way street. If it's all one way, for one or the other, it's doomed. Some guys I know do get thier way more than their spouse but those women are weak in my eyes and though they are my friends, I sometimes feel they have a childish attitude and really don't appreciate how good a mate they have. Some women have the old world attitude towards their man which translates into them keeping their mouth shut and getting walked all over. I could not live with a women who does not and will not speak her mind when she wants to for fear it will upset the balance ( or lack of in most cases) in the home. That is stupid way to live.

I actually enjoy doing things with my wife except the mall gig and waiting while she shops but she knows this and would rather go alone anyways as she feels I am getting impatient most times.

Sometimes I over do it and get called in on the carpet and wish I copuld fish all the time like some of the supposed heavy hitters. But if you look deeply into it most of those guys live lonely lives and have taken to drugs or alcohol to make up for the times when they are off the boat or beach and there is no one to care for you or for you to care for, no calls to make sure your alright if a little late or come home to a warm house.

My wife doesn't fish. Has no interest in it. That's okay because I need time with my friends and she understands that. She knows where I am and what I am doing and knows it's better than a lot of other options. On our Honeymoon we came to the Cape for three weeks, during the middle of the second week I left her at the rented cottage and hit the beach overnight. When I arrived back the morning she was there cooking breakfast for me, I knew she was a keeper then.

[QUOTE=Flaptail;424865] I could not live with a women who does not and will not speak her mind when she wants to for fear it will upset the balance ( or lack of in most cases) in the home. [QUOTE]

I couldn't agree more with that comment. I was hoping I would get some creative ideas out of this thread but it's really just confirmed that I need to do a better job of focusing on making her happy. She pretty supportive as it is.

I'm starting to realize that buying her something rather another 5 or so plugs can go a long way. Only child habits are difficult to break.:smash:

What capesams said..
I fish nights almost exclusivly.. much easier on things when she is asleep..

Balance is the key. While my hubby will go fishing with me its not HIS hobby of choice, he'd rather be hunting. So I cherish the times we go fishing together. If I want to go and he doesnt....he has no problem with that and the favor is repaid to him come hunting season. But of course this can only work if neither side "pushes the limits" either. I guess I am lucky since we enjoy spending time with each other too.

Flap // AMEN,AMEN

I had the best of both worlds / On our very first [date] I took her fishing .. she was a keeper forever ;;

& she could fish with the best of them // until we had kids / she was my partner all the way around // it was great having both fish checks going into the same account ;;

SOOOOOOOOOoo / she really understood my addiction ////

& she had balls & when I pushed waaaaaaaaaay past the limit // she blasted me ;;

I,m thankful that I mellowed on the fishing quite awhile ago ==== soooooo I had a 2nd chance to see much more in life / & spend alot more time with the family [especially] her ;;;
I regret more than anything in life /the time I spent on the hunt // the worse thing that could ever happen -------- did ------------------ selling F #$%^&*( fish // all kinds /not just bass // & have too many [Big ] paydays ;;;;

I,m glad I had the good times I did /there would have been many more if I wasn,t blinded by the bass ;;;

I,m so sorry for what I did to her / but at least she knew it before the end ;;;

Guys / don,t be stupid .>>>> there is a whole lot more in life than you, yourself & the striper ;;;

If all the guys that read these post /including the lurkers /
would raise there hand & honestly say what it will do or did to their marriages /I bet it would fill pages ;;;;;

better late than never .........>>>>>>>> sometimes :read:

Clammer, half probably dont think/realize what its doing to their marriages and some probably dont care

Sometimes its really sad to read what some people will say about their wives here. The worst part is that we CHOOSE our partners or at least choose to stay in a relationship with them so somewhere somebody is kidding themselves. Guys (or girls)if fishing is more important to you than your spouse than you should probably call off the relationship and do THEM a favor so they can find someone that does care for them. ......Oh yeah and that means you can fish whenever you want.

Mike, here is another perspective. I am married to one of the most passionate fisherman out there today, #^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&. I also am the sister of the creator of this fine website, John. Bill and I have an 8 year old daughter and the juggling of fishing and family is a struggle. Try to NOT talk about fishing at Thanksgiving with Bill and John together or at a birthday party or First Communion with Clammer also joining us–impossible!!

When our daughter was born, Bill continued to fish hard. Sleepless nights with the baby and sleepless nights fishing really took their toll. He caught his best fish, a 50+ lb. striper when Alisson was only 2 years old. About a year later, he stopped fishing to spend more time as a father/husband. Bill is an “all or nothing” guy. If he couldn’t fish hard core, then he wouldn’t fish at all. Over the next few years I noticed he wasn’t as happy and suggested he should go fishing. I knew how much a part of him it was - but he couldn’t do it halfway. He finally wet a line again in the spring of 2004 and he’s himself again-only better. He tells me that the 2 year break made him appreciate EVEN more, not only the striped bass, but the salt air, the ringing of the bell buoys, the stars in the sky, the quiet stillness out on the rocks when you are the only one out there. He’s truly happy out there and I’d be trying to “cage an animal” if I stopped him.

Have we had our fights over his fishing??? YOU BET!!! Fishing has managed to become part of our family and home. The phone rings off the hook so much with fishing reports, etc. that I don’t answer the phone anymore. I’ve stepped on dead eels when I’m doing laundry (eel tank next to washer/dryer) and pulled fish hooks out of the carpet. The driveway is covered with fish scales and our front porch has Grundens laying across the benches. There are fishing magazines in every room. His truck stinks of fish, his boots stink of fish, heck HE stinks of fish. But I could never take it away from him. He wouldn’t be the same guy without it.

We discuss quite often how much of a strain fishing puts on our marriage. Many marriages have broken up over it and we’ve vowed to be committed to make it work. Sorry for the long post but I promise I’m eventually getting to the point-So, how do you get to fish lots and keep your gf happy? My advice, be open and honest with her and INVITE her. Tell her how important it is to you, how great it makes you feel, how it is so much a part of who you are. Take her with you and get her some gear. Bill fishes conventional so he got me spinning gear. Show her how to cast and watch her fish. It’s no fun just watching someone catch fish. I bet when she lands a fish, she’ll want to go more often and have a greater appreciation of what this is all about. If she has no desire to fish after you've taken her, then hopefully you can devote enough time to her off-season so that she knows fishing is secondary to her.

I fished with Bill before our daughter was born. I fished with him until I was 6 months pregnant and the fear of falling on the rocks kept me home. I’ve fished Chatham with him, fished the rotation at Quonnie, slung eels in Narragansett, and watched pogies get chased by stripers this past June. Now that Alisson is getting older, we’re getting into it more as a family. She said that one of her best days ever was when she went schoolie fishing on Daddy’s boat this past spring. When she grows up and is on her own, I will be hopefully fishing by Bill’s side as much as possible. What’s that expression….If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!!

Leslie

UH...OH....My wife has posted....Not much to add...exept..I love ya Les:love:

WOW><><

I,m speechless :jump1: :jump1:





P S the salt air ,the stars , the peacefulness , senerity are my lines -works every time :bo:

wow, that was awesome. Thanks Mrs #^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&.

I am happier when my wife hooks up and lands a fish than if it were myself. Great read Mrs. Nolan.

Wow that is one of the best posts I have ever read, welcome aboard,

I know my wife feels the same way. it is totally a give take deal. I try to do as much as I can and in turn I go as much as my old bones can take. she is buy my side alot of the times but she doesn't hop rocks at night. and she doesn't fish, she loves nature photography and being outdoors so it all has a way of working out for us.

T=19


I,m also glad When STAR [hooks up]:bshake:

Bill
you have a good woman there and allison too . I am not complaining I have it pretty well too . Its all about fairness and our time to enjoy our daughters and each other and to have me gone out of the picture for a few days . Like when we went to Fla 2 weeks ago . the women wanted to go to the parks and I didnt , so instead of putting up with me and my attitude about parks My wife said " why dont you go to key west and fish for a few days " and I will go to the parks with the girls ( 8 and 12 ) . As long as when I got back to orlando I would take the kids out for a day to give her a break . I almost broke my neck getting to the phone to make reservations . so 3 days in the keys and 4 days hanging with my family worked out great . I got fish and had a great time with the family .

what was this thread about anyway ?

Leslie
Where did this come from? The passion. The honesty. The....the...
I don't know what to say.

Great post all kidding aside.

:heybaby:

WOW
 

Somehow, I get the feeling, you know what it is like to be between a rock, and a hard place... ;)...
(Just kidding, guys!)

All kidding aside.. great post!.. and look forward to more!

Its nights like tonight that are really tough. Spending the night at home with the wife is great but knowing that those fish we got into last night are still out there is killing me inside. Especially with the wedding all weekend and knowing that the tides will be all wrong by the time we get back :wall: time to suck it up I guess - unless she falls asleep really early :hihi:

Mike, Just let me know where the fish are and I'll keep an eye on them while you are busy this weekend. That way I can give you a report when you get back. :jump1:

I'm always willing to help

No one could have said it better Mike, your a good man, a good man. :btu:

Mike, words to live by thanks.

T-19


i just f #$%^&*() say them WTF lives by them :spin:

wow
 

just finished reading all this....

#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^& you be one LUCKY guy.....


Leslie! welcome to S-B ............ you "rock" girl

i am very impressed.

A silmilar analogy
 

I used to golf three to four times a week, now I just fish. For some reason it doesn't bother my wife as much. But when I golfed, I new she didn't like the sport at all, so I ony golfed when she worked and/or before she got up on Sat. or Sunday (she worked 4-12 then so she slept late). And even though it didn't take time away from us it drove her up a wall. So anyway I made a deal with her. I'll just fish, thats all I'll do, and for the most part it is my entire life outside of work/marriage and she is pretty good with it. That and after twenty five years of marriage she finally found a god damn hobby (she makes and sells jewelry) and she made a couple of very close friends. Lastly let her do whatever she wants. Push into activities with her buddies like you would a shy child, it works.

Eelman/Leslie
 

Hey #^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&, ask Leslie if she would consent to her genes being cloned? It to late for me and most of the guys here, but if we could have more Leslies for the next generation that would be cool.:kewl:

HA! that's impossible :laughs: