Im so sorry to hear of your moms battle with cancer . my thoughts go out to you and your brother and family . remember the good times .

Hey Hoop:
Condolences to you and your family. You and your Mom will be in our prayers.

My regrets...

Sorry for your loss,

Hi Gordo,
Sorry to hear of your loss, I lost my grandmother to cancer and it is a death I would not wish on my worst enemy.

Gary

Hooper,
Very sorry for the loss of you mother.
May she rest in peace and you take comfort in knowing she won't be in pain now.

Hi Hooper! Just got in from a couple days away. My condolences to you and your brother for your tremendous loss. My prayers are sent. May your Mom rest in peace.

Guys, I really want you to all know how much it means that you have taken a minute to read my post and drop me a few kind words. I felt funny doing it, but sometimes when you let people know what is going on in your life you are amazed with the responses as I have been. I guess that is why S-B.Com is at the top of my favorites list!

Mom's service is on Wednesday night and I really want to express what she has meant to me at that time, trouble being, I don't know if I can hold it together as I verbalize that feeling. Have any of you been through this and how did you manage to speak so personally when your emotions were so strong?

Hoop! I just saw this and I am so sorry for your loss. Kudos to your mom for singly raising great kids and remember with pride that she did that. You have my family's Thoughts and Prayers

I debated if I wanted to speak at my Dad's funeral and was asked to do so. I tortured myself a little on whether I should and what to say. I thought and thought and thought and then decided I would day something light and meaningful. When my time came to say what I wanted to say I did so with great difficulty and somehow, for the most part, managed to get through it though I broke down several times. My Uncle, ever the wise man of the family, managed not to struggle outwardly as he spoke.

Do what you have to do and don't worry about it. Your friends and family will support you AS/IF you struggle and they will support you if you don't. Do what YOU need to do, sounds like she would be proud either way.

Very sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts, prayers and heart go out to you and yours.

I have and still am. Not a day goes by that I don't say hello to my mom, I miss her still but I try to remember the good things about her and how strong she was after all she was the one who had to deal with all the bad health issues and pain everyday, alone.

I like you was there at the end, I got to hold my mom's hand and say "I love you" before she took that final breath, and I now believe what I was told that when you hear a persons death rattle that it is something you'll never forget.

But I take everyday to thank God now, because I know now that even though I miss her so much that she is not hurting anymore and that is everything to me and I know she will still check in on me from time to time. I live with the memory of the love that she gave so willingly everyday, not the pain of how much I miss her and how much I wish she was still here.

It will hurt for a long time my friend but the pain will ease a little everyday and if you live you're life to it's fullest the way she had meant you to and think of her only with the best of thoughts then she will be proud of you and there's nothing stronger than a mothers pride.

My heart goes out to you and you're family because of you're loss, but know we are all connected in life and death ... we are all family.

God Bless

I am very sorry to hear of your loss. Mom's are special. And I have my mom with me in thought's and memories, all the time.
I will say a prayer for you my friend, in this time of sorrow.
Mom's are good. Mom's go home to the good Lord.

RESPONSE
 

yeah hooper, you just have to remember to breathe!
and write down what your going to say in simple sentences
on an index card........
so your able to say it before the choking up sets in....
as it will... and there's no shame in that.

mom
 

(Have any of you been through this and how did you manage to speak so personally when your emotions were so strong?)

When you have memories in your heart they live forever. I/We do things their way with a smile.:) Also, remember the song pennies from heaven? Our personal game is a penny tails up is grampa giving you the ok in that task. To tight to toss more and never lucky. Gramma is still a penny but she would place it heads up for you to find. Mom was a big spender, quarters are her helping you. We have some one for all change. It's strange finding a penny out in the open on your return trip when you could swear it wasn't there five minutes ago.

Sorry for your loss. Heartfelt condolences from my wife and I.

Thoughts and Prayers are being sent to you and your family.

I have a small regret in that I could not bring myself to speak a few words about my Dad at his service. I just could not as I was just so devastated. What I did do was honor my Dad, and his life, by displaying his many trophies and awards (my Dad was a competitive swimmer for most of his life, coached men's swim teams at Tufts University and Brandies and officiated swim and dive meets later on.) I also displayed many photos of him swimming, photos of his stint in the Navy as a "Frogman" in underwater demolition and working as a delivery man for H.P. Hood for 40 plus years and many photos of our family who my Dad worked so hard to provide for. I think I did right by my Dad simply by honoring his many accomplishments in his wonderful life. I am sure your choices will be honorable and you will honor your Mom's memory in your own way. Best of luck.

Sorry for your loss. We will say a prayer for her and your family.

I also lost my mom to lung cancer in 1979 after an almost 2 year battle.She was 42.I was 9.I'm sometimes horrified at what my brother and I put my father through when we were teens and his only goal was to do his best by us.

Now that I approach the almost 30yr anniversary of mom's death do I realize Clammer's great saying "Enjoy what you have" more than anything includes people.

I don't pray but I guarantee my thoughts will always be with your mom.How can they not be,I think of my own mom regularly.

So sorry for your loss Hooper
 

I will say a few for her and the family Hooper.... my condolences and prayers. Don`t forget to celebrate her life.

Best to you,
Mike

Very sorry for your loss Hooper:(

So, so sorry for the loss. Thoughts and prayers going your way.

This is for all of you guys who took a few minutes to say hello. I really want to say thanks. You have really made a difference in the way I am looking at her death. While the loss is great, I am going to try to celebrate what she accomplished in her life rather than mourn in grief. The key word being try!!!

It's been interesting, I've been at Mom's house going through old photographs of her, beginning when she was just a baby, in 1943! Following her through grade school, into high school and graduation, and finally college and the wedding to my dad. Once my brother and I came along, all the pctures are now of us. She froze at more sporting events to see us play.

Anyways, I do thank you all. I really does make a difference.

prayers sent

Guys, as hard as it was I wrote out a few pages of thoughts (in large text!) and shared at Mom's service. There were several long painful pauses, but I got through it. And now I will never look back with regret and wish I had spoken. My brother chose a song which we played at the end of her service, Warren Zevon's "Keep me in your heart for awhile". I had never heard it beore and learned he wrote it when he found out he had lung cancer, like Mom. What a song.

Man, what a week, I am exhausted and I feel lost, there is lots I can be doing, but I can't do anything. Time, right?

well yes...........
 

but remember something while you wait for your body and mind to reach an equilibrium..and reset itself. besides resting up...

sorta like a computer doing a much needed but longer reboot...
as it tries to process a bit to much information...

you are PART mom and PART dad.... they combined to make you........... and the best of both reside within you...

some people joke about a man's feminine side but it actually exists
and it is part of the duality of man .... as you get over the initial trauma and sadness of your loss and i'm truly sorry your going thru this... right now... memories will come through to help guide you or to refresh your spirit from time to time.... and at that particular moment stop what your doing and enjoy that flashback and smile.

also...even though it's colder than a well diggers ass... definately get out of the house and walk somewhere to generate an endorphins release which will give you a sense of well being
and take in some nature .... get some fresh air.... and just enjoy
the beauty of the outdoors without thinking about everything to much. I highly recommend doing that.

Hooper -

No question, prayers have been sent. Sorry for your loss....

Gordon,
Sorry for your loss.
Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.