What do you get when you turn a blonde upside down

A brunette with bad breath
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What do you call a smart blond?

A golden retriever.

What does a blond say before she puts on her panties?


"Are all you guys on the same team?"

A man goes to confession and says to the priest, "Father, I have sinned. I slept with five women last night." The priest says, "Go home, squeeze five lemons into a cup, and drink it really fast."

The man asks, "Will that absolve me of all my sins?" The priest says, "No. But it will wipe that smirk off your face."

A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them.

"Hey, show us yer tits, ya bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross."

Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya fookin' little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"

Sister Mary Immaculata then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, "Did that sound cross enough?
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Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher.

She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first letter."

The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. Prussy."

A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Johnny gets to his desk the teacher asks what her name is.

Johnny thinks hard and the says to the teacher, "I remember it has an "r" after the first letter."

"That's right!" she coaxed.

Then after a few seconds Little Johnny says, "Mrs. Crunt?"

What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair to be a brunette ?


Artificial intelligence !

Guy walks into a bar and orders 4 shots of whiskey and downs them bang bang bang bang. Ther bartender is like "whoa whoa whoa why are you going so hard, are we celebrating something? " and the guy says "yeah my first blowjob" and the bartender says "well damn, have another one on me!" And the guy says "if 4 shots doesn't get the taste outta my mouth I don't think another would help! "
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Why don't witches wear under ware?....Better broom grip.