Mike, here is another perspective. I am married to one of the most passionate fisherman out there today, #^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&. I also am the sister of the creator of this fine website, John. Bill and I have an 8 year old daughter and the juggling of fishing and family is a struggle. Try to NOT talk about fishing at Thanksgiving with Bill and John together or at a birthday party or First Communion with Clammer also joining us–impossible!!

When our daughter was born, Bill continued to fish hard. Sleepless nights with the baby and sleepless nights fishing really took their toll. He caught his best fish, a 50+ lb. striper when Alisson was only 2 years old. About a year later, he stopped fishing to spend more time as a father/husband. Bill is an “all or nothing” guy. If he couldn’t fish hard core, then he wouldn’t fish at all. Over the next few years I noticed he wasn’t as happy and suggested he should go fishing. I knew how much a part of him it was - but he couldn’t do it halfway. He finally wet a line again in the spring of 2004 and he’s himself again-only better. He tells me that the 2 year break made him appreciate EVEN more, not only the striped bass, but the salt air, the ringing of the bell buoys, the stars in the sky, the quiet stillness out on the rocks when you are the only one out there. He’s truly happy out there and I’d be trying to “cage an animal” if I stopped him.

Have we had our fights over his fishing??? YOU BET!!! Fishing has managed to become part of our family and home. The phone rings off the hook so much with fishing reports, etc. that I don’t answer the phone anymore. I’ve stepped on dead eels when I’m doing laundry (eel tank next to washer/dryer) and pulled fish hooks out of the carpet. The driveway is covered with fish scales and our front porch has Grundens laying across the benches. There are fishing magazines in every room. His truck stinks of fish, his boots stink of fish, heck HE stinks of fish. But I could never take it away from him. He wouldn’t be the same guy without it.

We discuss quite often how much of a strain fishing puts on our marriage. Many marriages have broken up over it and we’ve vowed to be committed to make it work. Sorry for the long post but I promise I’m eventually getting to the point-So, how do you get to fish lots and keep your gf happy? My advice, be open and honest with her and INVITE her. Tell her how important it is to you, how great it makes you feel, how it is so much a part of who you are. Take her with you and get her some gear. Bill fishes conventional so he got me spinning gear. Show her how to cast and watch her fish. It’s no fun just watching someone catch fish. I bet when she lands a fish, she’ll want to go more often and have a greater appreciation of what this is all about. If she has no desire to fish after you've taken her, then hopefully you can devote enough time to her off-season so that she knows fishing is secondary to her.

I fished with Bill before our daughter was born. I fished with him until I was 6 months pregnant and the fear of falling on the rocks kept me home. I’ve fished Chatham with him, fished the rotation at Quonnie, slung eels in Narragansett, and watched pogies get chased by stripers this past June. Now that Alisson is getting older, we’re getting into it more as a family. She said that one of her best days ever was when she went schoolie fishing on Daddy’s boat this past spring. When she grows up and is on her own, I will be hopefully fishing by Bill’s side as much as possible. What’s that expression….If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!!

Leslie

UH...OH....My wife has posted....Not much to add...exept..I love ya Les:love:

WOW><><

I,m speechless :jump1: :jump1:





P S the salt air ,the stars , the peacefulness , senerity are my lines -works every time :bo:

wow, that was awesome. Thanks Mrs #^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&.

I am happier when my wife hooks up and lands a fish than if it were myself. Great read Mrs. Nolan.

Wow that is one of the best posts I have ever read, welcome aboard,

I know my wife feels the same way. it is totally a give take deal. I try to do as much as I can and in turn I go as much as my old bones can take. she is buy my side alot of the times but she doesn't hop rocks at night. and she doesn't fish, she loves nature photography and being outdoors so it all has a way of working out for us.

T=19


I,m also glad When STAR [hooks up]:bshake:

Bill
you have a good woman there and allison too . I am not complaining I have it pretty well too . Its all about fairness and our time to enjoy our daughters and each other and to have me gone out of the picture for a few days . Like when we went to Fla 2 weeks ago . the women wanted to go to the parks and I didnt , so instead of putting up with me and my attitude about parks My wife said " why dont you go to key west and fish for a few days " and I will go to the parks with the girls ( 8 and 12 ) . As long as when I got back to orlando I would take the kids out for a day to give her a break . I almost broke my neck getting to the phone to make reservations . so 3 days in the keys and 4 days hanging with my family worked out great . I got fish and had a great time with the family .

what was this thread about anyway ?

Leslie
Where did this come from? The passion. The honesty. The....the...
I don't know what to say.

Great post all kidding aside.

:heybaby:

WOW
 

Somehow, I get the feeling, you know what it is like to be between a rock, and a hard place... ;)...
(Just kidding, guys!)

All kidding aside.. great post!.. and look forward to more!

Its nights like tonight that are really tough. Spending the night at home with the wife is great but knowing that those fish we got into last night are still out there is killing me inside. Especially with the wedding all weekend and knowing that the tides will be all wrong by the time we get back :wall: time to suck it up I guess - unless she falls asleep really early :hihi:

Mike, Just let me know where the fish are and I'll keep an eye on them while you are busy this weekend. That way I can give you a report when you get back. :jump1:

I'm always willing to help

No one could have said it better Mike, your a good man, a good man. :btu:

Mike, words to live by thanks.

T-19


i just f #$%^&*() say them WTF lives by them :spin:

wow
 

just finished reading all this....

#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^& you be one LUCKY guy.....


Leslie! welcome to S-B ............ you "rock" girl

i am very impressed.

A silmilar analogy
 

I used to golf three to four times a week, now I just fish. For some reason it doesn't bother my wife as much. But when I golfed, I new she didn't like the sport at all, so I ony golfed when she worked and/or before she got up on Sat. or Sunday (she worked 4-12 then so she slept late). And even though it didn't take time away from us it drove her up a wall. So anyway I made a deal with her. I'll just fish, thats all I'll do, and for the most part it is my entire life outside of work/marriage and she is pretty good with it. That and after twenty five years of marriage she finally found a god damn hobby (she makes and sells jewelry) and she made a couple of very close friends. Lastly let her do whatever she wants. Push into activities with her buddies like you would a shy child, it works.

Eelman/Leslie
 

Hey #^&#^&#^&#^&#^&#^&, ask Leslie if she would consent to her genes being cloned? It to late for me and most of the guys here, but if we could have more Leslies for the next generation that would be cool.:kewl:

HA! that's impossible :laughs:

You have to make an agreement... that's what I did and we ALMOST never FIGHT ABOUT IT!

In all seriousness... I told her that during the season I need to be out 4 nights a week... Mon, Wed, Thur, Sat. If the fishing's hot I go more and sacrifice another night later. If the weather sucks or if there's nothing around... don't say "I'm staying home tonight because the weather sucks" and don't sap it up either with the "Aw shucks baby, the fish are jumpin' on shore and all I can think about you buttercup"... just stay home and when the time you usually leaves comes and goes, she'll ask and you can just say "eh.. just felt like staying home tonight... wanna watch a movie?" Mike, I know the allure of single life sometimes seems... well... alluring, but don't let fishing ruin a good thing (that is if it's good)... make the agreement fight through it for a while and the seas will calm down... or they did for me, although at times the storm still rages on....

Exactly, so I see a lathe and an airbrush under her Christmas tree?!?!?:bl:

I am married 26 years this coming Feb.

She likes Camping, I don't!!
I like fishing , she don't!

So what I did was buya 30' Camper with all the bells and whistles! Central Air, Heat, fridge freeezer, you get the Idea.

What we do is live in Wareham for the summer in the camper, I bring the boat, she is camping and I am fishing, we both get what we want!!

And I made sure that if I have to camp I did it in comfort!!

And when she complains that that the boat cost to much money, I just say, hey it costs $3000 a year to leave your camper in the camp ground a season!!
It doesn't cost me $3000 a season! Well maybe it does, but she doesn't know it! LOL

Bottom line, Never stop her from doing what she wants!! Get her doing something she likes and will leave you alone!

And never never never fall asleep after a all nighter and she wants to talk to you!!!!!!!! Stick tooth picks under your finger nails and jab them if you have to!! Cause when they want to talk you better at least look like you are listening!! Been there done that!! It wasn't pretty!!

It's only a question if your're prepared to entertain all options. My experience has been that people see the writing on the wall and go forward anyway. Her lack of support of your fishing is only going to get worse.

I'm happily married but I would not get married again. I'm not too fond of having to tell someone where I'm going and what I'm doing.

People who gravitate toward surfcasting tend to be loners who don't find their relationships as rewarding as normal people do. There's a little bit of the serial killer in every good fisherman.

the wife
 

For the most part I consider myself extremely lucky. Years ago, one spring morning in 1985 when I was trying to get her to go back to the vineyard again in the fall for the derby, she said I am not going. But thier is no reason for you not to go. Ever since then I gave up golfing and just spent money on fishing. I can't say that Bev never got pissed off at me, but after stopping the once in awhile sojourn to the local watering holes she didn't have anything to bellyache about when it comes to fishing. When you have kids I am sure it is completely different though. I would trade away much if not all of what I have for just one child, but since I don't have any. Just make sure she knows that the only thing your doing is fishing. I know a few guys that used the old line, "honey, the tide is just right tonight, I may not be home till morning", and the guy/s were actually doing plugging of a different sort.

YIKES! That was uplifting.. sounds like a marital problem not a fishing problem

sounded about right to me :rollem: lol

:rotfl:

:conf: :rotf2:

It was always rumored you were hard on fishing partners but you didnt need to use him for CHUM! and then wear his face as a hat.... just dont start eating eels with fava beans and chianti! :D

How about that some people go through the motions of life and too few are fortunate to find that holy grail of inner peace and satisfaction that good old fashioned surfcasting can bring :hee: Many people find that wonderful thing that as an individual touches our soul. I find fishing to do that, being on the water, and good commaraderie - they all bring that inner peace. Fishing can compliment the peace and joy that a good relationship brings.

Besides - it's far better than being in the bars :huh: :rocketem:

That's classic :tooth:

BTW - Nice post Les :btu: