And I'll bet you parked the cars in the driveway side by each :D

I still do :D

On Tursdee my pepere might yell to my memere, "Gertrude, trow me out the window my keys. I'll bring da machine around front so I can bring you ta go make your stores down Social cwen. When you go ta Halmacs buy a coupla two tree steaks, dare on sale for a buck tree eighty. While you make your stores I’ll pickup the machine and make gas."

Translation for the non-RI French:
On Thursday my grandfather might yell to my grandmother, “Gertrude, throw my keys to me from the window. I’ll bring the car around front and take you to Social Corner to do your grocery shopping. When you go to Almacs, buy a few steaks, they’re on sale for three dollars and eighty cents. While you’re shopping I’ll clean the car and get it filled with gasoline.

Of course, I can’t speak French nearly as well as they could speak English.:err:

Those two years I worked at the Stop & Shop on Diamond Hill Rd were a blast. You had to know the difference between "hair spray"--Glade or Renuzit--and "air spray"---Clarol. :rotf2:

Mrs Link grew up,in the projects 5 sisters totally on there own, would ask? where's the hair brush? " If it was up your arse you'd know",then they would be called "ungratefull little Chits" if they asked for anything, it was all about their FATHER. but there 5 brothers that lived next door that he wish he had, oh yes the mom was divorced RED HEAD, He bought the boys everything even drove them to school, I never saw the EVIL Farther in action " good thing" & my wife now ,thought back then Ketchup hot water and stale bread was an awesome meal, condiments kept the girls going.
I hope he is rolling over in his hole over and over
ML SR

Ya think our last name is Rockefeller ?
Go get the strap
Just who the f do you think you are ?
Where were you when god passed out brains ?
Looks like the floor needs a good scrubbin' (after I had already scrubbed it 4 times)
Your brother wouldn't do that (ya right)
Your going to bed right after supper
No supper, go straight to bed.
For the 96th millionth time
How many times do I have to tell you ?

Whata ya think i'm made of money?

I hate to say these but :::

shut the f-in nigger music off.... beatles or monkeys playing ..lol
your as useless as tits on a bull

dont make me backhand you:hs: painfull

-Cool your jets.
-The, "You don't know sh@@ from Shinola."
-Hey Capt. A-hole try and get home earlier next time.
-Or if I was late getting up,"It lives, it breathes, it crawls on it's belly like a reptile."
-When bringing girls home for dinner and then going to my room I had to leave a boot in the door so it wasn't shut, one time with a particular hussy I got the, "Hey Capt. Sperm nevermind the boot, just take the doot off it's hinges jack.":shocked:

when it came to studs all full of themselves--"now they're runnin, soon they'll be walkin"

Remember the three rules of aging:
1, Never pass up a bathroom stop
2. Never waste a boner
3. Never trust a fart

While we are on the topic of farts, my uncle had a good one.
He would bomb us out, practically making us puke from the stink of it all, and when we asked him how can you do that he would reply, "Hey man, everybody likes thier own brand!" --side note use that one at your own risk.:fishslap:

When it came to someone exagerating or tellin lies-

He talks through his hat.
He says more than his prayers.

Oh and another in the same vain--

He talks to hear himself talk.

Scientists studying why dogs bark for no apparent reason
discovered that they do it just to hear themselves .
and............
one of the reasons people were found to want to smoke cigarettes
is to know they were still alive because they could see the smoke that they just exhaled.

great one Karl
 

a little off topic... but your comment reminded me of this .......
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Paul Horn the Flute Player ...who has made recordings in the cheops pyramid in egypt and in the taj mahal too... a long time ago...tho

Anyways, Paul goes walking into the Taj Mahal and gets stopped by the cleric (priest) in there and he says "you can't come in here!"
"this is where we pray to GOD !"

Paul just walked right past him saying....
"i came here: to play to GOD"....and kept on walking. :rotfl:
followed by his recording technician....

speaking about the name Karl
 

we have an Uncle Karl in our family who lives in michigan
on 1000 acres that he farms....

every night just about...my day would tell us about Uncle Karl
and how much food he ate.....
first he starts with a big plate of potatoes...
and my dad would gesture the size of the mound of taters
then he has a huge plate of green beans....gesturing again
then he has a big bowl of squash this big encircling his arms...

going on and on about how uncle Karl was the strongest man in the world and all...:hihi:

just to get his 6 sons to eat their little amount of veggies :D

"Dear god, what keeps you on the ground?"

or:

"Somethng crawled up inside you and died!"

;)

When I was a know-it-all teenager my Dad used to tell me, "you don't know yet what you don't know yet and you think that makes you smart."

[QUOTE=Karl F]cool Uncle Karl story.. :D
"Oh $hit!"...
[QUOTE]

Infamous words, handed down from generation to generation. :hihi:

good stories Raven & Karl

here is another...."you don't know your arse from your elbow"

Smart Dad ya had there Rav.

maybe so
 

yeah he was extremely smart
 

he was Senoir Vice PRESIDENT OF STATE STREET BANK....

HE SOLD OR TRADED MILLIONS OF DOLLARS OF BONDS EACH DAY

OOPS CAPS SORRY

but he was also the greatest fibber of all time....

because Uncle Karl came to visit us one summer
and he was a skinny as a bean pole
hahahahahaha :bl2: it was a riot.... the guys real tall
and wasn't as much of a giant as he said he was
thats for sure....
But old uncle karl got a big kick out of it...
just the same...

Always at least one wild one in the family, and actually we had quite a few. :hihi: The one i remember best was Uncle Charles, better known as Pop Kuie. The whole family was over 6'2", but Pop Kuie was about 5'5" and weighted #100lbs soakin wet. He also had buck teeth and in those days if ya had 'em, ya had 'em.

He learned to fight early, as he was teased alot,and would look for trouble wherever he could find it. They say, he fought like a Bantam Rooster. :D Anyways, the last fight that he had, that i know of, was when he was 81. Some guy made a wise crack about his German Sheperd, he was kinda ugly, and that set him off. :hihi: Ended up in court, the whole 9 yards. :D

When he hit a snag while working-

I'm gettin nowhere fast.

My Dad's was "He talks just to hear his head rattle"

When you're working on something with some one watching and you screw it up. " Why did you just stand there and let me do that?" My brother Pat thought that I was serious for 30 years!! "remember when you chewed me out for letting you screw up your Harley?" I was 19 he was 9.

The car would hit a bump in the road, and everybody would yell-

Thank you mam.

"Gag a maggot on a gut wagon"

always asked a kid when he was trying to grow a mustache " you tryin to cultivate somethin under your nose that grows wild around your a$$"

you would be anticipating something big happening and he would say--

Don't put the cart before the horse.
or
Don't count your chickens before they're hatched.

"I'm not pissed at you because of what you did.
I'm pissed at the fact that you got caught.
Whatever you do; don't get caught."
(Smack. Open hand; small of the back. Black & blue in the shape of a hand.)
Dad.
The older I get; (37); the more he makes sense.

[QUOTE=Karl F
Trust me.. it stuck like glue in the back of the mind....[/QUOTE]

Oh yeah, fear ruled in those days and

as my Dad would say, "a good swift kick in the rear end", would enforce it. :(

The problem with the youth of today.
Never were "taught" respect.
Ever find yourself at a green light with one of them walking REAL slow across the street in front of the truck?
Pants halfway down, baseball cap sideways.
With "that look" or ignoring you altogether?
I wish fear still ruled.
Or I was allowed to punch it & run them the **** down.

"give 'em a dose of his own medicine"

"there's a sucker born every minute"

"Lunk head"

one of Clammer's favorites, "Nit wit"

"give him an inch and he'll take a mile "

i used to hate being told to go cut a switch...
.........that was a green branch to get a whippin with....

one day i bring in this big ole branch hopin it would break
or maybe he'd calm down and change his mind....not :hs:

it broke alright......right over my backside. :crying:

you say potato, i say F- You. was my gramp's favorite :hihi:

Didn't read all the posts, but what about, "chit or get off the pot"?