How about
 

"hey kid I think you've played to many games without a helmut"?

"Don't be listening to every Tom, #^&#^&#^&#^&, and Harry." :doh:

Moms quotes, #! "The night before has nothing to do with the following day". Usualy followed by git your butt outta bed and go to work / school etc.
#2 "I ain't running no house of illrepute, if i was i'd be a lot richer than i am, so knock it off. (meaning no girls in your room. HE HE)
#3 Put all your wants in one hand and crap in the other and see which one fills up first.
Dads,#1 "Lockes keep the honest people honest"
#2 "If you don't get caught taking it, don"t get caught taking it back".
#3 "Use the rest room at work and get paid for it" My improvement is getting time and a half for a sat morn dump.
The evil step mother, #1 was allways wanting to "knock me into the middle of next weak". (some day im gonna get a BIG dog to crap on her grave when she dies. wife wont let me do it personaly).

and people wonder why i am the way that i am. BW

i guess that ended this forum :hidin: :hidin:

A guy would go to jail and they'd say, "he's in the hoosegow".

Gettin' old ain't for sissies- LKB the first

if your so smart ...why aren't you rich!

->
 

my dad use to say sometimes:

"to each their own said the man who kissed the cow."


The other one i'd hear allot... not sure from "who"

"the road to heaven is paved with good intentions" :rolleyes:



or a reference was "come hell or high water...."

then... there was the driving the old standard shift saying....

"grindem til ya findem"

Yup Rav, and then there was" put the petal to the metal" and

"he's got a lead foot."

I always thought it was "the road to hell is paved with good intentions"

And I was always taught : Can't find em; grind em.
Didn't put that on my first job app. for a driving job.
After the first few years the grinding stopped.
Or I got a better radio.
Once you figure out engine speed to shift points it's just a clunk.
(That's in my F-150)
The bigger the truck; the easier it is.

From Dad, "Don't bite your nose to spite your face"....From Mom, regarding excuses beginning with "If", "If the dog didn't stop to have a crap, he would have caught the rabbit"....

my grandmother used to say"children should be seen and not heard!"

"He's afraid of his own shadow".

My dad.."because I said so" or my mom "Wait 'till your father gets home".

I hope is snows crotch deep on a 9 foot Indian and soon.

Keep your tailgate up and don’t let your chain drag!

Instead of my mother giving me the wooden spoon I'd get hit with the rubber sputula.....this worked until the day I started laughing at her as she was doing it..........that was last week:laugha: :laugha:

My dad when he was heading out the door to go have a few with the boys. Where are you going........"Going to see a man about a horse"...

:rotfl:

Dredging up the painful memories of my childhood.

I actually got the "because I said so" answer from the systems administrator/I.T. person in my last job.

Those two were in cahoots with one another.

When you piled huge piles of food on your plate and couldn't finish it, my Dad would say -

your eyes were bigger than your stomach.

I can remember my father on more than one occasion saying "a good run is better than a bad stand" it took a bloody nose and a black eye to realize it didnt apply to just fishing in a lightning storm!

wise guy- "needs his ears pinned back"

haircut-- "ya had your ears lowered"

"don't put the cart before the horse"

"thats like lockin the barn after the horse was stolen"

You'll eat your food, and you'll LIKE it.

Karl, I put lima beans in an envelope addressed "China" when I was a kid. Mom was not amused. I guess I shoulda been thinking of kids in West Virginia....

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink"

You reminded me of my father saying, "You can lead a horse to water...," pause with a grin and then, "but if you can't make him roll over and float, ya got nothin!"

When my brother or I would complain that the steak was tough, my father would always respond, "It's tougher where there's none!"

Mother: "You look like death warmed over!"

Mother: "You can't turn a sow's ear into a silk purse," as someone said earlier.

Mother: "You kids'll be the death of me yet!"

Our town had a lady bus driver who was bow-legged. My father must have said a million times, "she's not bowlegged, she's pleasure-bent."

My father always called underarm deoderant, "Marine shower."

Any difficult task was, "... like pushing a boulder uphill."

When it came to Politicians-

Yeah, a pot in every kitchen and a chicken in every pot.

They promise ya everything, and give ya Arpege.

That enough of your shenanagans
what kind of monkeyshines are you getting into ?
get your head screwed on straight

Time and tide wait for no man.

When I was a kid at supper time in our house:
"when the plate comes around the 1st time take what you want, cause it won't make the trip again"

I've got a new/old expression I use with the brazilian guys I work with.
Not sure this is the correct spelling in portuguese,
"Va Ci Fudier "

Usually after one of us kids did something irremediable, Dad's version of getting the toothpaste back in the tube, " Well I guess the sh!t's outa that horse."

One of us, " But Dad, if..."
Dad, "If my sister had testicles she'd be your uncle."

Mom's favorite curse at us kids, "I hope you get one just like you!"

Wooden spoons, mom always kept one in her purse. One day at the market we're at the counter, paying for groceries when mom busts one across my ear. The clerk to my mother, " Lady, now I know why you buy 'em by the dozen."

Mom's Sicilian salute: She'd fully extend her hand with her fingers tightly together, clench the edge of her index finger between her front teeth then smartly snap her hand forward. For added emphasis she'd sometimes tremble with rage other times she'd calmly smile while performing the gesture. It all depended upon the particular company present at the time. This gesture was only used when justice needed to be delayed and wooden spoons would be inappropriate.

Nonna, rather apologetically after introducing me to one of her friends, "He's a little lively".

I'm glad they hadn't yet invented Prozac.

Happy Easter, Guys
-'butcher

I've had enough of your antics
you can't pull the wool over my eyes mister
I know you're up to something

My dad would ask is the paint dry yet????

The correct answer is I don't know.

Don't think your doing something new, I did it first.....

I thought people just didn't think!

Now I know 99 % of them are just plain stupid!

The rules....

Admit to nothing.

Deny everything.

Demand proof.

Cover your ass.

Many hands make light work.

All talk and no action

Action speaks louder than words

That's a buncha baloney

Thats's malarkey

You ever work for the phone company?
I heard the same from my old roommate.
"Admit nothing; deny everything."
And "CYA" I have actually had to explain what that means.

My dad said , I'm proud of you Mike " even though your a truck driver" or how about this " your never going to amount to nothing"
All this happened years ago I have amounted to something maybe not in his eyes but I can support my family & have a strong marrige for 27 years.
I do have deep set resentment but he is OLD now 89 and have to show some respect but the old sayin is I can forgive but never FORGET and I never will
I try to set a good example for my sons no matter what kind of life I have led, told them right from wrong and the meaning of RESPECT /// I can only some of this has rubbed off & I think it has.
Thank you LINK SR

When a guy would be running around like a chicken with his head cut off, my Dad would say-

He's busier than a one armed paper hanger with the itch.

Thought of one this morning-

"Birds of a feather flock together."

From my Irish grandmother when she had diarreah, “Sweet Mother Of Jesus, me arse is in flames!”