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Any Monty Python Fans...
They are running a six part special on them starting this week on PBS. Here is a Link to the Info.
Monty Python's Personal Best They also say that they will be bringing back the Original Series this year in April too. |
It won't be the same as the original, I don't :smokin: anymore...:angel: I can't wait to see what I missed.
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" Your wife... is she a goer.... hint hint... nudge nudge... know what I mean...?"
sol...:rotf3: |
castle anthrax is a horrible name for a castle!
WITH a HERRING!!! NI NI Shes a witch burn her! You dressed me up like this!! If she floats shes made outta woood!!! Bring out your dead, bring our your dead.. Go away! Or I shall taunt you again! A shrubbery!!! A nice one with laurels!!! We are no longer the knights that say NI!!! I've seen the life of B. like a thousand times but I cant for the life of me remember anything beside them selling rocks to stone ppl. |
Say no more....;)
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:spam: :spam: :spam: :spam:
Spam, spam, spam spam and eggs!:drool: |
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Blessed are the cheese makers? What did they do? He is the true messiah, and I should know, I've followed enough of them. I 'aven't spoken for 18 years....Ooooo, another miricle!!! You are all individuals...we are all individuals... YOu are all different...We are all different..I'm not.. shut up you! :rotf2: :rotf2: Jigman |
Jigman,
Post the rabbit! |
are you with the peoples judian front,#8&% off ; were with the peoples front of judia.
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i have a fweind in rome named biges #^&#^&#^&#^&es,he has a wife you know
incontentia: incontentia buttes. |
With the upcoming herring ban, what will we use to chop down the tallest tree in the forest???
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"I'm not a roman mum, I'm a kike, a yid, a heebie, a hook-nose, I'm kosher mum, I'm a Red Sea pedestrian, and proud of it!"
Brian's mother: Who are you? Wise Man #2: We are three wise men. Brian's mother: What? Wise Man #1: We are three wise men. Brian's mother: Well, what are you doing creeping around a cow shed at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me. "What Jesus fails to appreciate is that it's the meek who are the problem." "Alms for an ex-leper!" "Oh, What I wouldn't Give to be Spat at in the face, Bloody Jailers Pet You Are" |
a nudge is better than a wink to a blind man.
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I fart in your general direction you Anglo Saxon pig dog. 5 min. past he big hour of 5 o'clock time for the penguin on top of the television to explode. So throw your rubbers overboard there's no one here but men, men, men, men. Eggs, sausage and spam. Brilliant classic stuff. Love British humor. Don't do it like that any more.
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TDF, Life of Brian, very funny, I saw it for the first time last week, now I need to see again and catch what I missed. The song at the end of that movie was as twisted as you get. Good stuff
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He pulled your liver out?
Yeah,at first. |
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She turned me into a newt!
A newt? I, got better... Oh bad Zoot, naught zoot. Right first you must spank her. OOooo, me too, and me. Yes, you must give all of us a good spanking....then the oral sex. Well I suppose I could stay for a little bit. Quote:
I soiled my armor... Right, one rabbit stew coming up! Run away, run away!!! Jigman |
Tim: it has sharp teeth *does teeth imitation*
But it's only a little rabbit! Run Away! Run Away! |
The Spanish inquisition, The cheese shop, upperclass twit of the year and atila the nun. thats all i can remember oh and the exploding penguin on the tv set and we are the knights that say Nee !!!
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Cheese shop, memorized that one in college when I worked in the Subterranean prep kitchen in South Hadley!!!
I still thumb through the "All the Words," book. Later, Rick |
Tiss but a flesh wound.
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I haven't watched the Holy Grail in a while. I think it's time. I just love the French soldier taunting from the top of the castle.
And that rabbit munching the jointed pikie is lol funny. "That's no ordinary rabbit!" "Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!" |
Some of the best comedy ever done.
"Its just a flesh wound!" Really doesn't get any funnier that.Just thinking about it makes my ribs hurt. |
That's classic Jigman! Thanks!:bgi:
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Anytime Adam. BTW, we've come for your liver :rotfl:
Jigman |
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I just got it this past X-mas.....Got Holy Grail the X-mas Before....I pretty much know the Holy Grail Word for Word. They have a Box set out that has 14 DVD's of every Flying Circus Skit ever recorded......Thats on Next X-mas's List. :D And now for something Completely Different... |
http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/grail/...s/21_rabbt.jpg
Shh! We are now the Knights Who Say 'Ecky- ecky- ecky- ecky- pikang- zoop- boing- goodem- zoo- owli- zhiv'. |
That walk isn't very silly at all,is it?It's a simple aerial half turn every alternate step.
You're right,but I think with a Government grant I can make it very silly. |
Give her the comfy chair!!!!
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Welcome to the site tide runner
"She's a witch BURN HER!" |
For your enjoyment
Nudge Nudge Man: 'Evening, squire! Squire: (stiffly) Good evening. Man: Is, uh,... Is your wife a goer, eh? Know whatahmean, know whatahmean, nudge nudge, know whatahmean, say no more? Squire: I, uh, I beg your pardon? Man: Your, uh, your wife, does she go, eh, does she go, eh? Squire: (flustered) Well, she sometimes 'goes', yes. Man: Aaaaaaaah bet she does, I bet she does, say no more, say no more, know whatahmean, nudge nudge? Squire: (confused) I'm afraid I don't quite follow you. Man: Follow me. Follow me. That's good, that's good! A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat! Squire: Are you, uh,... are you selling something? Man: SELLING! Very good, very good! Ay? Ay? Ay? (pause) Oooh! Ya wicked Ay! Wicked Ay! Oooh hooh! Say No MORE! Squire: Well, I, uh.... Man: Is, your uh, is your wife a sport, ay? Squire: Um, she likes sport, yes! Man: I bet she does, I bet she does! Squire: As a matter of fact she's very fond of cricket. Man: 'Oo isn't? Likes games, eh? Knew she would. Likes games, eh? She's been around a bit, been around? Squire: She has traveled, yes. She's from Scarsdale. (pause) Man: SAY NO MORE!! Scarsdale, saynomore, saynomore, saynomore, squire! Squire: I wasn't going to! Man: Oh! Well, never mind. Dib dib? Is your uh, is your wife interested in... photography, ay? 'Photographs, ay', he asked him knowlingly? Squire: Photography? Man: Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more? Squire: Holiday snaps, eh? Man: They could be, they could be taken on holiday. Candid, you know, CANDID photography? Squire: No, no I'm afraid we don't have a camera. Man: Oh. (leeringly) Still, mooooooh, ay? Mwoohohohohoo, ay? Hohohohohoho, ay? Squire: Look... are you insinuating something? Man: Oh, no, no, no... yes. Squire: Well? Man: Well, you're a man of the world, squire. Squire: Yes... Man: I mean, you've been around a bit, you know, like, you've, uh... You've 'done it'... Squire: What do you mean? Man: Well, I mean like,... you've SLEPT, with a lady... Squire: Yes... Man: What's it like? |
tdf. its ON! :cputin:
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ARTHUR
Yes! SOLDIER You're using coconuts! ARTHUR ...What? SOLDIER You've got two empty halves of coconuts and you're banging them together. ARTHUR (Scornfully) So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercea. SOLDIER Where did you get the coconuts? ARTHUR Through ... We found them. SOLDIER Found them? In Mercea. The coconut's tropical! ARTHUR What do you mean? SOLDIER Well, this is a temperate zone. ARTHUR The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house martin or the plover seek warmer hot lands in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land. SOLDIER Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? ARTHUR Not at all. They could be carried. SOLDIER What? A swallow carrying a coconut? | ARTHUR | Why not? | | SOLDIER | I'll tell you why not ... because a swallow is about eight inches long and | weighs five ounces, and you'd be lucky to find a coconut under a pound. | ARTHUR It could grip it by the husk ... SOLDIER It's not a question of where he grips it, It's a simple matter of weight - ratios ... A five-ounce bird could not hold a a one pound coconut. ARTHUR Well, it doesn't matter. Go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here. A Slight pause. Swirling mist. Silence. SOLDIER Look! To maintain Velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings four hundred and ninety three times every second. right? ARTHUR (irritated) Please! SOLDIER Am I right? ARTHUR I'm not interested. SECOND SOLDIER (who has loomed up on the battlements) It could be carried by an African swallow! FIRST SOLDIER Oh yes! An African swallow maybe ... but not a European swallow. that's my point. SECOND SOLDIER Oh yes, I agree there ... |
Bring out your dead!
There are legs stick out of windows and doors. Two MEN are fighting in the mud - covered from head to foot in it. Another MAN is on his hands in knees shoveling mud into his mouth. We just catch sight of a MAN falling into a well. CART DRIVER Bring out your dead! LARGE MAN Here's one! CART DRIVER Ninepence. BODY I'm not dead! CART DRIVER What? LARGE MAN Nothing... There's your ninepence. BODY I'm not dead! CART DRIVER 'Ere. He says he's not dead. LARGE MAN Yes he is. BODY I'm not! CART DRIVER He isn't. LARGE MAN He will be soon. He's very ill. BODY I'm getting better! LARGE MAN You're not. You'll be stone dead in a few minutes. CART DRIVER I can't take him like this. It's against regulations. BODY I don't want to go on the cart. LARGE MAN Don't be such a baby. CART DRIVER I can't take him. BODY I feel fine. LARGE MAN Do me a favor. CART DRIVER I can't. LARGE MAN Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes. He won't be long. CART DRIVER I promised I'd be at the Robinson's. They've lost nine today. LARGE MAN When's your next round? CART DRIVER Thursday. BODY I think I'll go for a walk. LARGE MAN You're not fooling anyone you know. (to CART DRIVER) Isn't there anything you could do? BODY (singing unrecognizably) I feel happy... I feel happy. The CART DRIVER looks at the LARGE MAN for a moment. Then they both do a quick furtive look up and down the street. The CART DRIVER very swiftly brings up a club and hits the OLD MAN. (Out of shot but the singing stops after a loud bonk noise.) LARGE MAN (handing over the money at last) Thanks very much. CART DRIVER That's all right. See you on Thursday. |
ARTHUR
You have proved yourself worthy. ... Will you join me? Silence. | ARTHUR | A man of your strength and skill would be the chief of all my knights ... | | BLACK KNIGHT | Never. | ARTHUR You make me sad. But so be it. Come Patsy. As he moves, the BLACK KNIGHT bars the way. BLACK KNIGHT None shall pass. ARTHUR What? BLACK KNIGHT None shall pass. ARTHUR I have no quarrel with you, brave Sir knight, but I must cross this bridge. BLACK KNIGHT Then you shall die. ARTHUR I command you, as King of the Britons to stand aside. BLACK KNIGHT I move for no man. ARTHUR So be it! ARTHUR draws his sword and approaches the BLACK KNIGHT. A furious fight now starts lasting about fifteen seconds at which point ARTHUR delivers a mighty blow which completely severs the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm at the shoulder. ARTHUR steps back triumphantly. ARTHUR Now stand aside worthy adversary. BLACK KNIGHT (Glancing at his shoulder) 'Tis but a scratch. ARTHUR A scratch? Your arm's off. BLACK KNIGHT No, it isn't. ARTHUR (Pointing to the arm on ground) Well, what's that then? BLACK KNIGHT I've had worse. ARTHUR You're a liar. BLACK KNIGHT Come on you pansy! Another ten seconds furious fighting till ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's other arm off, also at the shoulder. The arm plus sword, lies on the ground. ARTHUR Victory is mine. (sinking to his knees) I thank thee O Lord that in thy ... BLACK KNIGHT Come on then. ARTHUR What? He kicks ARTHUR hard on the side of the helmet. ARTHUR gets up still holding his sword. The BLACK KNIGHT comes after him kicking. ARTHUR You are indeed brave Sir knight, but the fight is mine. BLACK KNIGHT Had enough? ARTHUR You stupid bastard. You haven't got any arms left. BLACK KNIGHT Course I have. ARTHUR Look! BLACK KNIGHT What! Just a flesh wound. (kicks ARTHUR) ARTHUR Stop that. BLACK KNIGHT (kicking him) Had enough ... ? ARTHUR I'll have your leg. He is kicked. Right! The BLACK KNIGHT kicks him again and ARTHUR chops his leg off. The BLACK KNIGHT keeps his balance with difficulty. BLACK KNIGHT I'll do you for that. ARTHUR You'll what ... ? BLACK KNIGHT Come Here. ARTHUR What are you going to do. bleed on me? BLACK KNIGHT I'm invincible! ARTHUR You're a loony. BLACK KNIGHT The Black Knight always triumphs. Have at you! ARTHUR takes his last leg off. The BLACK KNIGHT's body lands upright. BLACK KNIGHT All right, we'll call it a draw. ARTHUR Come, Patsy. ARTHUR and PATSY start to cross the bridge. BLACK KNIGHT Running away eh? You yellow bastard, Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off! |
FIRST VILLAGER
We have found a witch. May we burn her? ALL A Witch! Burn her! BEDEVERE How do you know she is a witch? ALL She looks like one. Yes, she does. BEDEVERE Bring her forward. They bring her forward - a beautiful YOUNG GIRL (MISS ISLINGTON) dressed up as a witch. WITCH I am not a witch. I am not a witch. BEDEVERE But you are dressed as one. WITCH They dressed me up like this. ALL We didn't, we didn't! WITCH This is not my nose, It is a false one. BEDEVERE takes her nose off. BEDEVERE Well? FIRST VILLAGER ... Well, we did do the nose. BEDEVERE The nose? FIRST VILLAGER And the hat. But she is a witch. ALL A witch, a witch, burn her! BEDEVERE Did you dress her up like this? FIRST VILLAGER ... Um ... Yes ... no ... a bit ... yes... she has got a wart. BEDEVERE Why do you think she is a witch? SECOND VILLAGER She turned me into a newt. BEDEVERE A newt? SECOND VILLAGER (After looking at himself for some time) I got better. ALL Burn her anyway. BEDEVERE Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether she is a witch. ARTHUR and PATSY ride up at this point and watch what follows with interest ALL There are? Tell up. What are they, wise Sir Bedevere? BEDEVERE Tell me ... what do you do with witches? ALL Burn them. BEDEVERE And what do you burn, apart from witches? FOURTH VILLAGER ... Wood? BEDEVERE So why do witches burn? SECOND VILLAGER (pianissimo) ... Because they're made of wood...? BEDEVERE Good. PEASANTS stir uneasily then come round to this conclusion. ALL I see. Yes, of course. BEDEVERE So how can we tell if she is made of wood? FIRST VILLAGER Make a bridge out of her. BEDEVERE Ah ... but can you not also make bridges out of stone? ALL Ah. Yes, of course ... um ... err ... BEDEVERE Does wood sink in water? ALL No, no, It floats. Throw her in the pond Tie weights on her. To the pond. BEDEVERE Wait. Wait ... tell me, what also floats on water? ALL Bread? No, no, no. Apples .... gravy ... very small rocks ... ARTHUR A duck. They all turn and look at ARTHUR. BEDEVERE looks up very impressed. BEDEVERE Exactly. So... logically ... FIRST VILLAGER (beginning to pick up the thread) If she ... weighs the same as a duck ... she's made of wood. BEDEVERE And therefore? ALL A witch! ... A duck! A duck! Fetch a duck. FOURTH VILLAGER Here is a duck, Sir Bedevere. BEDEVERE We shall use my largest scales. He leads them a few yards to a very strange contraption indeed, made of wood and rope and leather. They put the GIRL in one pan and the duck in another. Each pan is supported by a wooden stave. BEDEVERE checks each pan then ... ARTHUR looks on with interest. BEDEVERE Remove the supports. Two PEASANTS knock them away with sledge hammers. The GIRL and the duck swing slightly but balance perfectly. ALL A witch! A witch! WITCH It's a fair cop. All Burn her! Burn her! Let's make her into a ladder. The VILLAGERS drag the girl away, leaving ARTHUR and BEDEVERE regarding each other admiringly. BEDEVERE Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science? ARTHUR I am Arthur, King of the Britons. |
i love it..!
"what are you gonna do? bleed on me?":hihi::hihi: |
It was an African Swallow.:wall:
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HOLY HANDGRENADE !!!!
How did I miss this thread. Just too busy at work !!! That rabbits dynamite. Perhaps it will confuse it if we run away some more. Shutup and go and change your armor !!!! 1.2.5............"3 sir".... 3.... |
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