Could use a laugh,,, any jokes out there
 

guy’s wife makes appointment with marriage counselor,,,
They’re at a session, wife complaining how he never pays any attention to her, no appreciation, no romance , never hugs, and on and on...
Councilor stands up goes over to the wife tells her to stand up and he puts a big sensual romantic hug on her, turns to the husband and says, now, can you you do this three times a week,,,,, sure, I’ll bring her by on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, I fish on Tuesday and Friday...

A young guy goes to a urologist and complains that when he wakes up in the morning he has such a hard erection that it is difficult to urinate.

The doctor responds, "Don't worry, that happens to every guy sometimes. When it happens to me I just tell my wife to blow me and everything is quickly OK. Do something similar and I think you'll be cured but just in case come back in two weeks to confirm it.

Two weeks pass and the man returns to the doctor.

"Well, how did my advice work?" the doctor asked.

"Just great", said the young man, "and, Doc, you really have some nice art work in your home, too!".

How many feminists does it take to cross the road?

2!! One to cross the road. And one to suck my !@&$
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Screen capture of thus sent to Jenn in 3.....2......1......:jump::hidin:

Good ones...
Chickens.....

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?




Nothing, she just choked.
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Why doesn’t Barbie ever get pregnant





Cause ken comes on a different box.
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What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste
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You're all grounded

Did you hear about the new shoes for lesbians??
They’re called dykies.

They were all recalled though. The tongues were too short.
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Why are there no good jokes about the Jonestown massacre???

The punchlines are always too long.
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She actually thinks that one is funny.
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Jenn has been laughing at Clammer’s humor for years, that isn’t going to even get in the top ten. Although like others, it took Jenn years to decipher the Clammer code, for nothing he types is as it seems.

Different Jenns ; )

Albert Einstein is at a party and he's surrounded by a small crowd of admirers. He introduces himself to the first member of the group, and asks, "What is your IQ?"

The man answers, "191."

"Wonderful!" says Einstein. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss!"

Albert then turns to a woman and asks, "What's your IQ?"

She responds, "123."

"Ah!" says Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We, too, have much to discuss!"

Einstein then notices a third member of the group and again inquires about the man's IQ. This time the answer is "62." The great physicist ponders for a moment, then brightens and says, "GO YANKEES!"
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Hahahaha

Over breakfast a guy says to his wife, "Honey after this pandemic is over I'm going to take you on a two week vacation somewhere in the world." With that he tacks a map of the world up on the kitchen wall then gives his wife a dart and says, "Throw the dart and wherever it lands, that's where we'll go on vacation." They're going to spend two weeks behind the refrigerator.

What’s the difference between pink and purple ?


The grip !

joke
 

An elderly man is walking down a path when he hears the words help. He looks down and sees a frog. The frog proceeds to tell him that she is really a princess and if he will kiss her she will fulfill all his sexual desires. He then puts the frog in his pocket. He then hears a muffled voice tell him she will fulfill all his sexual desires. To that he responds "I am 82 yrs old and I would rather have a talking frog''

:laughs:

What about the lesbian framing crew?
It’s all tongue and groove

Barney Frank’s favorite sign?
Entering Dennis
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Behind the frig..... I’m dying over here...

Any GOOD jokes please?
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How is a Kennedy like a penguin?

They both look good in a tuxedo But neither can fly for #^&#^&#^&#^&

Corona virus will only be killed when Hillary Clinton finds out it has something on her.
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If a stork brings a girl
And a crane brings a boy
What kind of bird brings nothing at all




A swallow
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Not a joke, but an apt Quotable Quote from Readers Digest
"If people concentrated on the really important things in life , there'd be a shortage of fishing poles." Doug Larson, Journalist

A skeleton walks into a bar and says "I'll have a beer and a mop"

Who’s the most popular man at a nudist camp ?


The guy who can carry two cups of coffee and six doughnuts !
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If a midget tells you your hair smells nice... is it sexual harrassment?
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What do you get when you turn a blonde upside down

A brunette with bad breath
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What do you call a smart blond?

A golden retriever.

What does a blond say before she puts on her panties?


"Are all you guys on the same team?"

A man goes to confession and says to the priest, "Father, I have sinned. I slept with five women last night." The priest says, "Go home, squeeze five lemons into a cup, and drink it really fast."

The man asks, "Will that absolve me of all my sins?" The priest says, "No. But it will wipe that smirk off your face."

A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them.

"Hey, show us yer tits, ya bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross."

Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya fookin' little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"

Sister Mary Immaculata then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, "Did that sound cross enough?
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Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher.

She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first letter."

The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. Prussy."

A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Johnny gets to his desk the teacher asks what her name is.

Johnny thinks hard and the says to the teacher, "I remember it has an "r" after the first letter."

"That's right!" she coaxed.

Then after a few seconds Little Johnny says, "Mrs. Crunt?"

What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair to be a brunette ?


Artificial intelligence !

Guy walks into a bar and orders 4 shots of whiskey and downs them bang bang bang bang. Ther bartender is like "whoa whoa whoa why are you going so hard, are we celebrating something? " and the guy says "yeah my first blowjob" and the bartender says "well damn, have another one on me!" And the guy says "if 4 shots doesn't get the taste outta my mouth I don't think another would help! "
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Why don't witches wear under ware?....Better broom grip.