Effing Bird
 

A chirping sound has been coming from somewhere outside my bedroom window for a month and a half. It was happening at random times including at 1,2,3 am, driving me absolutely insane! The chirps were timed and had 2 different sounds about a second and a half apart. So one day A couple weeks ago I was with my 2 year old just after dark. We listened to the floor, the vents, and the closet. This is when we knew it was something outside. We opened a bedroom window and even though it sounded like a bird it was too well timed, and then I knew there was a creep swinging on my kids swing set. So I grabbed a spotlight and a bat to find out there was nobody out there and the noise stopped as usual. So it's obviously a bird and it's been pissing me off! A few days ago another bird was talking to it at 6am. Now I have 2 Fing birds?!!! WTF are birds doing in this cold ass weather?? Today I'm playing hockey in the basement with my 6 year old. We hear the azzhole bird. We ran out of the bulkhead with no coats freezing our butts off. The bird stops making noise as my kid won't stop making noise. After shushing him a few times and watching the trees, the chirp started again! I followed it right to the gas meter that's attached to the house outside my bedroom! New England Gas came a half hour later and took care of my bird problem!

Ban birds !
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You're an idiot, Jay.
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It was the ghost of that dead parrot that you turned into jerky and sold as rhino labia to that tourist that came in on a cruise ship last fall... I know it !
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It was the Effing gas meter. It was replaced. Fishbones is openly gay and Nebe has the best wrong answer so far.
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I am not openly gay! At least I wasn't until you just outed me.

See you at the next gay meeting.
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Don't worry about it. Spence wears spandex too. Where is Jeff? Bait question.
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got labia back in stock???????

I wish.
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Feel free to market that one. Just kick me some as royalties. :hihi:
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Don't give me any ideas! Lol
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You should have shot it.

Clearly sheltering in place and waiting for help to arrive was the best for this situation. If he had a rape whistle he could have communicated with the felonious birds.

Jay, you may want to take your boy to learn how to shoot an automatic weapon at the range. What could go wrong?
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Kids are much better off starting off running around with pistols but when Jay's ready I can introduce him to some of my friends with NFA toys. I'm sure his boy would love it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jCAEYTMGQ8

Ross, lots of desicated labia in Newport


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Tru dat
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JAY! what the f is that
JAY! Call NASA or sumpton
JAY! Shoot the f n thing

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8qLpq1...ature=youtu.be

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8qLpq1...ature=youtu.be

Those guys made the news and we're just as funny
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