Jehovah's Witnesses...
 

Yesterday afternoon I was awakened from a nap (getting over a bad cold). Ding-dong...

Go the door and freakin' two Jehovah's witnesses want to talk to me.

I was pretty irritated but maintained my decorum. I wanted to say "Get the !@#$ out of here before I skin you alive" but instead said "Thanks, you'll have to pardon me but I'm not feeling all that well" and they went on their merry way.

I'm generally very sympathetic to religious causes but I dunno it must have been the cold. I mean, it's one thing if they approach you on the street but they came to my home (what part of "private" don't they understand?) :doh:

This ever happen to you? Should I feel guilty for being so annoyed?

Before she died a few years ago, my 104yrd old great grandmother use to invite them in and debate them.

It was kind of funny because she always won.. Sharp as a whip till the end.

There are benefits to having a 160' driveway with about a 30 degree rise :D

If they ever do come a'knocking, I'll just refer them to my next door neighbor "Professor Bill". He's a professor of theology at Suffolk Community College and it would make his year to get a chance to debate them. If the Lubavitchers who came by last Christmas Eve ever come back, that's where they're gonna get sent.

Last time they came to my door I told them that when they could fill yankee stadium with JW's who were in the millitary and would recite the pledge of alegence I would be happy to listen to what they had to say. They kept on talking, so I opened up my shed and started to flesh out the Deer I had hanging. They left in a hury. Man I love deer season in Kansas.

I think they should deliver the mail, there comeing to your house anyway and it would save the govn'ment some $$$

Just stare at them for a minute, lick you lips once or twice and say to the smaller one "You look Tender, I think you'll do"


That may make them leave...:D

my aunts a jehovah's witness..........my 9 yr old brother is a jehovah's witness............my mom is a jehovah's witness.......i must've been fishing when they converted..........I HATE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSESS. the last time they had a "gathering" at my house they tried to hand me magazines.........i lit them on fire. if u want to practice ur religion thats ur business i have nothing against it, but dont u dare try to convince me that my beliefs are wrong or inadequate because they aren't the same as yours:af: :af:

Mike, I have a similar setup, but these guys didn't even blink.

They walked it anyways.

What kinda signage do I have to put up?

"Absolutely no soliciting - trespassers eaten and their souls offered for the pleasure of Lucifer?" :smash:

LMFAO - u got some nads there Surfcastinglife! No wonder you and your Dad go on those road trips. ;)

I like The Dad Fisherman's response..... LOL - had me chuckling here at my pc pretty good. :D

I've seen some awefully cute gals going door to door. What a waste. ;)

U folks ever encounter the Boston Church of Christ? They operate differently.

U bet. When I was living in Brookline I would have to deal with these in-your-face-brainwashed cultists on a daily basis. In comparison, JW's are tame.

My wife, who was in school across the rivah, was warned during her freshman orientation to stay away from Boston Church of Christ as they were officially labeled a "cult."

A friends father used to invite them in, have them sit in their deep soft comfy couch for a spell and when they left he would check under the cushions for any change that fell from their pockets. :laughs:

I love playing with the door-to-door folks, no matter who they are. Kids and their causes always get a polite, positive response. Petitionists/Surveyers need to get the response of the other 12 neighbors on my street, then and only then will I sign.
Religious visitors, I would probably tell them I'm already part of a devout Druidic sect that believes god took the form of the Mountain Laural whom we dance about and worship in the buffy.

a few years back i rented a cabin on quimby pond up in rangley maine, about 6 or 7 miles in on a rut filled dirt road. come 8.00am saturday or sunday morning,knock, knock... freekin jw's found me in the woods! i was completly rude,crude and socially unacceptable and they still asked me to buy a copy of the watchtower! listen , i don't care if you worship mashed potatoes, don't try to force your beliefs on me!

Last one that came by my place i invited in to sit on the couch, and tossed a porn video in the vcr. Didnt take long before they were out the door.:)

I use to fish with one years ago. Strange man but one heck of a swordfisherman. Some of my best commerical fishing stories took place on that boat. I could go on and on about it until the pen runs out of ink. Strange bird that man........................twenty day trips, four guys, plenty of time to feel every quirk of a man's character.

I just give them my usual nice guy talk and they leave . never to return . even the mayor gets the nice guy talk ! passes by my house every election .

A real good friend of mine and her husband converted a couple years ago. First thing I told them was to NOT preach to me or try to enlist me. Oh no no they say. Then all of a sudden all they want to do is talk religion. I'm an atheist so that doesn't go over too well :rolleyes: Then they keep coming over and giving my kids presents and stuff, all the while with an agenda. Needless to say, we don't speak to each other anymore.

I like Chefs idea of putting in the porno :laughs:

Do what you will with your life, it's your life to live.

But I won't be a convert anytime soon. Cuz...

1) No likker.
2) No guns.

Fuhggeddaboudit.

Yeah, but mine looks like the road to nowhere. You can't even tell from the street that there's a house up there.

If they start, the sign I'll put up will go something like, "No Soliciting--religious or otherwise. Your First Amendment rights end at my property line. If you disagree, you can discuss it with my tenant Mr. Mossberg". :D

They've showed up at my house... 3 times I think. After the 2nd time I said "hold on a minute, i'l get my wife" then closed the door... I have no idea how long they stood there:hihi:

I have a kingdom hall right around the corner from my house, I see them congregating out in front before they make their rounds...they ALWAYS seem to find my street and my place. They never take up on the invitation of cake, steroids and a reading of Salmon Rushdie (sp?)

Ben--just thought of the best "No Trespassing" sign I ever saw, on the front door of a house on Staten Island.

Had a silhouette of two Rotties and it read "We can make it to the gate in 3 seconds-----can you?" :D

Eben, what you did telling them you'd get your wife is how I sometimes deal with phone solicitors. "Uhhh, hold on a minute you need to speak with my wife. Let me get her." Then I just leave the phone sitting there and come back and hang it up 20-30 minutes later. Makes me feel so good to do that. Can't wait to try it when they come to the door next.

:laughs:

How about ...

"Got Satan?" :devil:

Answer the door naked next time.

My sign simply reads: Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.:rocketem:

Mulder said:
"They kept on talking, so I opened up my shed and started to flesh out the Deer I had hanging. They left in a hury. Man I love deer season in Kansas."

Too Funny,
This is EXACTLY what I did, but by accident. I had a deer hanging in the garage ready to be skinned. I innocently opened the garage door as my mom was talking to them, when I turned back around they were halfway down the driveway, never to return. That was approx 1978.

:D you can usually spot them a mile away.....gives you time to strip to your boxers...crack a cold one and grab your favorite shotgun/rifle and answer the door smelling like hoppes solvent....they leave:laughs:

Maybe I should ask about what's up with Michael Jackson? :laughs:

That's just wrong, Flap. you're like 7 feet tall, what do ya think they'd be preaching to? :eek: :laughs: :laughs:

Don, funny you should mention that freak.

Wasn't he in bed with the Nation of Islam not too long ago? :rolleyes: