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u know your a redneck when
u put on brand new undies thinking that if u leave the plastic bag on that they came in they'll stay cleaner longer:laughs:
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you old Phart.... those were depends. :eek:
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new unders, CS?
u musta come inta some money :confused: :hihi: |
Quote:
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when you say
em paw dent ......to much.
and rolland knows your Mama.... they seel -> boiled peanuts up yonder theres a confederate flag on your truck and you wear camo clothes to church i reckin :huh: |
dammit cs, you gave away my secret:tooth:
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If you consider a six pack and a bug zapper quality entertainment--- Link sr.:cool:
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If your lawyer begins his dialog with the jury with: "Y'all aint goin' tah beleive this...."
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You know you are a redneck when....
you don't understand why people use the fairy stick
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you say SON
when you catch a fish.....
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WHEN.......
You go to family reunions to meet women.... |
there's only one
shine
and it ain't from the sun. |
...you and your wife have the same grandma.
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Red Necks
What do you call a red neck that raises goats and pigs?
scroll down Bisexual yehaaaaaaaaaw:happy: |
When you are mowing your lawn and you find a car.
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If you've ever climbed a water tower to defend
your sister's honor. |
when you walk your son to school because your in the same grade
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you know you're a redneck when....
1.) You've had to skip school because of jury duty.
2.) More than one relative has met their makers just after saying "Now watch this...." 3.) Any pf your family was a "guest" on "COPS", and you taped it for the neighbors. 4.) You save for your kids' college fund a 6 pack at a time. 5.) If a hairdo was ever distroyed by a ceiling fan in your (mobile) home. 6.) If she's your Grandma, your Mother and your wife. |
After just putting in a fresh chaw your wife calls you for dinner. You take the chaw out and place it on the bench knowing it will still be good when ya get back:tooth:
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:eek: that one's reel life :err: :D
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.....you think a volvo is part of the female anatomy.
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you were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45’s.
your front porch collapses and four dogs get killed. that billboard that says, “Say No To Crack” reminds you to pull up your jeans. you go to your family reunions looking for a date. |
you ever won first prize in a tobacco spittin’ contest.
your favorite entree is Spam barbecued on the grill. your idea of high-quality entertainment is a six-pack and a bug-zapper. you’ve ever valet parked a snow plow. you’ve ever had to siphon gas from your lawn mower to put into your truck. you have a Bud Light pool-table light hanging over your dining room table. you ask the preacher, “How’s it hanging?” |
or
your driveways covered with them thar cans to bee rice-cicled
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... if you ever brought a beer into a job interview.
... if you refer to the sixth grade as your senior year. ... if the directions to your house include "turn off the paved road" ...if you ever used your belt buckle as a second form of identification. |
.....if your momma doesn't take the marlboro from her lips before telling the statie to kiss her A$$
My favorite one has already been said - ...you have ever taken a beer to a job interview......:rotf2: :rotf3: :buds: |
....you've ever been too drunk to fish.....
I think I can name a few people for that one and I got some help on some of these other ones. .....you've ever brought a fishing pole to seaworld .....you think the last words to the star spangled banner is "Gentlemen Start your Engines...." .....your family tree doesn't branch .....your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does....... .....the jack-o-latern has more teeth than your wife..... ......you've ever climbed a water town to defend your sisters honor.... ......you met your wife by reading.....for a good time..... .......you've ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher..... .....you own a homemade fur coat .....your wife has ever said, come move this transmission, I need to take a bath .....you wonder how service stations get their bathrooms so clean ....you've ever been to a custody hearing over a hunting dog .....you've ever been banned by a zoo for disturbing the monkeys ....your childs first words are "Attention K-Mart Shoppers!!!" .....your mother has ever been arrested at a high school sporting event .... your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board ....your favorite work of art is painted on Velvet |
... You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
....you've ever financed a tattoo - sorry guys ... you owe the taxidermist more than your annual income ... Skoal sends you a Christmas Card ... your wife has a beer belly - and you find it attractive ... you've been fired from a construction job because of your appearance ...You are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again. ....you've ever been blacklisted by a bowling alley ...if the highlight of the family reunion was your sister first live nude dancing performance. ...if you have Pabst Blue Ribbon on tap in your bathroom ...if you know how many bales of hay your car can hold ....if you have a toothpick in you mouth in wedding photos ....you've ever hit a speed bump and lost 1/2 of all possessions ...if you have grease under your toe nails. |
if you sign your plugs REDNECK. hi, i'm daryl this is my brother daryl and my other brother daryl.
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