I'm in the doghouse. this is war!
 

too much fishing related activities,she says. I used the wood cutting board to clean trout. she tells me that wood's just for vegatables. I should have used the plastic board.man who makes these rules.I know I ain't gonna win, so I might just piss her off. I just shortened all her bra straps 1/4 inch, next week I'll do it again.I took the cap off the tooth paste, that pisses her off :hihi: who's got some ideas? thanks ed.

Sooooo , she peezes you off and you get her earmuffs? Nice. :uhuh:

Leave the toilet seat up! :kewl: :bl:

GOOOOOOOOOOOOO fishin :faga:

replace it
 

and keep the old cuttin board just for cleanin fish....
to stand yer ground....

next find a way to git her out of the house for a day
and clean it like you've never cleaned it before
top to bottom and leave no stone unturned
and leave her absolutely nothing to do.
that always drives em nutz
eat all your meals alone...
go into silent treatment mode....
if in a new battle
announce first warning
then......second warning that your getting very ANGRY
LAST warning and then Leave & go out(light) drinkin.... you did
it to avoid being driven to violence by her cattle prod
imature behavoir.....enjoy some quality time alone. just not fishin.

- Go open her car windows an inch or so. A cold car usually gets them irked.
- Drink straight from the milk container in front of her.
- Stop the dryer mid cycle.
- Use her car and bring it back empty.
- Some night when she is around, grab the remote and keep jumping around channels.
- Take long showers before her and use up all the hot water.
- Forget to tell her your out of toilet paper.
- Store herring in the freezer face out so she has to look at it.

And my all time favorite, answer "whatever" to everything she asks. Mine hated it like no other.

how about an "im sorry, I'll use the plastic one next time" ?????

No Eben, that doesn't work. You'll see in time. LOL

Ed, leave all the kitchen cabinet doors and drawers open, drives my wife nuts when the kids do it. :bl2:

respect her and she will respect you..... she is right about the wood cutting board. wood holds bacteria and plastic can easily be disenfected. :D

sometimes you gotta know when to hold and when to fold.

ah screw it... soak her tampons in tobasco sauce :devil:

A Wood cutting board is better than a plastic or resin one,beach will kill on contact for wood & plastic but wood is the way togo.I don't see what the problemo is!!!
2.nd
Dude goto the bathroom & lift the lid & put plastic wrap over it & toss the seat back down...........you will get instant results with that one.

3.rd
cut the strings on her tampons.......Thats gotta suck!No rip cord............Ohhhhhh %$%$%$%$!

OUCH!!! Hate to see what she would do to you after that!!!! :sick:

Bet that'll leave a mark!!! :gorez:

could always put laxitives in her coffee :devil2: ... did that to my english teacher is 6th grade.. worked perfectly.. he he pure evil

Her shoe collection would make wonderful chew toys for the family dog.

Easy way to solve all marriage problems. refrigerator, wood stove, recliner, cable TV and porta potty all in the garage. been married 35+ years. Works for me. :jump:

All of the above...

Just don't plan on doing any "trolling" around the house.
You won't get any hits....

mess with the scale.

messin w/ the tampons might be going a little to far, I'm assuming you would like to KEEP your testicles after the battle is over. You might as well throw yourself in the Lion Cage wearing a Meat Suit, you'd have a better chance of survival that way.

Even I know there's 6 days a month I'm not messing w/ her.


If you want to piss her off, next time don't use ANY cutting board, do it right on the counter. then before you clean it up grab the newspaper for a little "Quality" time on the throne and let her look at it for 1/2 an hour. next time you use the wooden one she won't say "Boo" :D

Just get 'er a new cutting board man.. :wave:

I like Piemma's idea. If you have a "mantown" to retreat to, you can apologize for using the wrong board and sulk away. Thirty minutes later she'll be trying to snuggle up on the couch with you because she feels bad. :D

Last week I attended an investment analyst conference hosted by a well-known publicly-traded consumer products company whose largest line of business is ... tampons.

I wasn't the only guy there. Plenty of portfolio managers and analysts were guys. The CEO and CFO of the company are guys. :usd:

They were passing out a lot of free samples. I had a nice chat with the global head of tampons, and she told me all the wonderful dynamics of the market, including a treatise on why plastic applicators were gradually overtaking the cardboard segment, and why Tampax Pearl was taking market share away from their company. I got a goodie bag full of feminine hygiene product to give away at the office (you wouldn't believe how many requests I got for freebies).

Anyhoo, I had lunch with the head of R&D at said company. He told me that tampons are "Class II" medical devices regulated by the FDA.

I think if you pour some tabasco on a tampon which will be in contact with bleeding raw irritated tissue, you might be tampering with a medical device.

I think it would be better if you put some itching powder in the crotch of her panties instead. Better than a felony conviction. :devil2:

Teach her how to properly clean the cutting board. Takes a bunch of Kosher salt pour it on the board. Then cut a lemon in half, and scub the board with the lemon and Kosher salt together. The Kosher salt acts as an abrasive, and the lemon dissinfects the board. When you are done oil the board with Mineral oil, this seals it up nicely. Plastic cutting boards are very hard on your knives, and build up bacteria easily..

afterhours
 

Yep that way she has no ammo and you can have the other one for fish.



Then cut the strings.

Insist she go buy a new spring outfit, hire somebody to watch the kids, if needed, go to the most expensive restaurant ya can find, buy her flowers... you will blow her mind.. but remember... it's the start of fishing season :vamp: consider it the "last supper"... put some in the cookie jar, then disappear.

It's not worth fighting over a cutting board.....Retire to the mancave till it blows over.

Rearrange the furniture while she is out!! :jump:

You guys are too funny :D Whatever you do be prepared for reprocussions. Ya might get itching powder in your undies. :laugha: