Killer Farts
 

Man ..I had a chilly dog at South Bay Station (orange line) yesterday . Today I was a farting superstar.. 1 chilly dog = about 50 farts (good ones). It was brutal ,, made myself sick .. If I ever have to spend the day with someone I don't like , I know where I'm having lunch the day before . Truly amazing ... :yak4: :bshake: :bc: ... What does it for you ?

That's truly nasty.




coffee the morning after an evening w/ burritos w/ green salsa and beans.

Its not truely nasty unless you can clear a packed subway train.:rotflmao:

Lots of cheap beer the night before

Slingah knows someone who dropped one last night that made the wallpaper peel off the walls!!!:bgi:

I thought it was thunder i was hearing, but I am down on the cape.

That's some chili dog :)

i smell like rotting vegetable matter right now.

Dried fruit of anykind. Thanks Ed for not eating that before the concert a few weeks ago, I appreciate it.

Dried fruit is done commercially with sulfur, especially apricots. The secret ingrediant that makes hard boiled eggs nuclear. Add beer for propellant and you have a weapon...



I am Booferman

True Story
 

Many years ago my best friend who was the Hendrix of farting in sound variations and super horror smells had just picked up his new junker station wagon and stopped to get me for one of our somewhat standard 800 mile plus all day all night cruises in NE.....

Few miles later we hit 495 north and he starts wailing on his gas guitar and they reek unbelievably bad so I frantically reach for the window handle and its not there.... I look over at him with a look of complete horror and he has the Cheshire Cat thing going and rips some more.... I dive over the front seat into the back and again no handles .... both sides................... U F...er I yell and he is laughing and farting up a storm at the same time....

After I twisted his ear from behind he lowered his window and the wagons rear window..... finally I could breathe.... I swore he took the handles off but he said he did not and that the $300 wagon came like that.


The Horror :shocked:

***8 track player raggy weed assorted wild vitamins strange fungi cheap beer lots of cigarettes Wild Turkey miles of road and our youth.....

Bingo Jake/Fred ... My wife was watching Oprah (not me) and a this subject was discussed in length . They had a Doc and they asked him what makes farts stink ? Sulfur ... foods with a higher sulfur content will make you stinky bastaged.. You gotta know what does it to you so you know what to avoid on special occaisions .. So luds .. you gotta remember,, the day before you get hitched,, you don't want to get in an egg eating contest ..

For me it's chicken. Don't care if it's home or fast food. I bought a basket of legs once driving from Conn to Georgia somewhere around Va.

Couple of hours later started the toots. One especially warm and lengthly blast had me pulling over on the highway and leaning over the hood laughing so hard I couldn't see. It's bad when you are assaulted by your own and can't stand it.

Sarge

Mix a little of the Liptons French Oinion soup mix with a little mayo and put it on a Ritz look out baby I have been know to clear out the sorting room in a Hospital laundry where a worked when I was younger. That how bad they were. ThomT

It was you
 

Large #9 from subway washed down with a 6pack of keystones will clear just about any room.

You have to be ready to shut it down fast with that combo!:eek: :blush:

You guys are killine me here. OMG, got tears and everything. Time back, when I used to scuba dive the Glouchester area, always ate breakfast at the diner near the marina. His home fries were to die for. BUT, add two tanks of compressed air to those, combined with a little Nitrogen build-up, and you have one deadly combo. Now, put three or four divers into a wagon on the ride back home, and around Worcester, the car is emitting an odor similar to a bad catalytic converter.

Just imagined 4 guys in dive suits farting, bobbing to the surface... Another bad food mentioned on Oprah from the Doc (when wife was watching it ) was red meat . Red meat takes much longer to digest .. lays in there days , kinda rotting really . Who'd of thought this forum be so educational ?

eggs

Judging by today the following is a good fart recipe:

mutigrain tortilla cracker chips
red bean salsa
2 buffalo chicken sandwiches
washed down with a 6 of sam adams

iced caramel latte is the morning catalyst. about to have a couple breakfast burritos:eek:

Take the day off ,, go fishing ,, see the honey tomorrow ...:yak6:

I'm thinking this is a good week to reload and save some gas money. Tough moon.

Milk.Lactose intolerant.

I can clear an arena.

I'll make sure its nothing but pickled eggs and PBR at the bachelor party - that ought to last a week or too.

Keep Tagger out of the elevators:bgi:

We have descended to this? God help us.:shocked:

hahahaa.....its almost as bad as my hotdog thread...:laughs:

Don't forget to have the bus hit Taco Bell for a couple of Burrito Grandes on the ride home to "Top off the Tank"

I'm lighting up my cube right now. :kewl:

This thread stinks.