English the official language of the EU
 

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year
phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united Urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Das wundeba!

Too much free time on you hands yesterday?

LOL! Nice job, very creative written piece.

Copy/paste from another source doesn't take long....:)

Oh well, I enjoyed it and was giving you the credit!

wha bout merica?

I thought it was pretty clever. I guess because of the reference to German it reminded me of our long, exhausting visit with some neurologists in Philly yesterday. They put my mother in law through a number of different cognitive tests to determine at what stage of Alzheimer's she is currently and check medications, etc. At one point, she was handed a piece of paper and asked to write a short sentence about the weather. She thought for a second, then started writing and handed the paper back to the doctor. My wife said his face went blank for a second then he asked, "Is this in German?" It is, after all, her first language and my wife translated "Today is a nice sunny day". I don't care what anybody else thinks, I think she had a moment of clarity and decided she was going to toy with the good doctor a little.