I love the "we have no one in the area" thing. There's an EPO office at Trading Post Corners in Bourne village.
For many years, they wouldn't acknowledge that it existed. Then, they claimed that it was a "training facility only". That must explain why I'd drive past there at like 3 AM and see 3-4 green trucks parked outside, and the lights on in their office.
To be fair, I once made a lobster poaching complaint that they took seriously. They even went so far as to set up a surveillance sting. The EPO parked his truck out of sight, and stayed in the woods watching until the poachers came in to pull their traps. No license, pulling traps at night. They even had the CoE and Bourne PD on alert. The parking lot looked like a police convention. The only reason why there wasn't an OUI arrest to boot was because the EPO couldn't say for sure which drunk was driving.
In addition to the fines, they also had to pay for the taxi fare home. The EPO was clear: start up that truck and you will get arrested for OUI. They believed him.