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Hey bud. I am sooo sorry to see this and so truly sorry for your loss. As painful as it has been to you, make it through one day at a time, to the next, and don't do anything that will bring the same pain to others. Please see or call someone when or if it gets too hard - I'll give you my number if you want to call someone.
Godspeed, in time the pain will continue to lessen
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