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I have not been on this site since my earlier posts. i reread most and wish to thank everyone for their kind words. I went to counseling for a week but it didn't seem to help. We suppose to follow up with specialists but lost my will to try. It has been several weeks. I am the planning type person and have to have everything in order.... that is what I have been doing for the last month. I do not wish to rehash all of my fears and sadness and depression. I am still at the point where I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel. My biggest fear is I know if the weather starts to turn warm and it's time to get the boar ready for the summer I will break down horrifically as I know I will not have her by my side. I am still fighting thought. You guys are really genuine with your kind words..... I never would have guessed a bunch of fisherman could be so compassionate. I thought I'd ad a pick of Lori landing a Blue trolling using a school bus I believe. Boy was she happy that day. We had 300 yards out of 60# braid on the Talicas and when he hit he leaped out of the water immediately. I wish I could go back and do that again.... I had so many big plans for this year at the Cape. I got to know lots of shoals and fishing spots, all in the GPS now, was going to head to Race Point for the first time and a host of others... I need to find a fishing partner otherwise my sadness and depression will get the best of me.
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