Chris L, I heartily agree that young Patrick should enlist in the service (I was in the Army from 1977 - 1980). It's easy to put your government down without doing ANYTHING. Your not in College, I don't think you have a full time job.
I know the answer you are about to give, medical reasons.
How about the Coast Guard or Merchant Marine? Once you've served your country I think you'll see the situation a bit differently. Or do you expect someone else to make sure your tushy is safe like mommy and daddy do for you?