Grew up in a mediocrely rough neighborhood, divorced/single mom with 4 kids, projects, and was on track to, while not be be bad, surely not be good.
But I also did Scouts (hell, some of my troop were my 12 year old drinking buddies). Had paper routes, side jobs for cash stocking the local variety/liquor store. But I was still kind and polite, just not making great choices.
I was good to eff off, and basically move in with my father, where I needed the discipline, and lucked out as he was transferred to Germany and I went to school on the base. The DODDS school was almost like a private school, or at least equivalent to a very good school system in a very good town. But it had two things going for it, a top level education, and on balance great parents.
So it can be done, in good towns, with good schools. If your kids are young, find a way to move to those good towns.
I am proud of the kid my wife and I raised, but we also got a good dice roll, in addition to hard work at parenting.
