True story:
Many years ago, my wife and another couple went to a fancy, schmancy restaurant called Café in the Barn. I was reluctant to go there because I wasn’t in the mood for an overpriced meal that might consist of 2 baby carrots, a tiny red potato and 1 ounce of lamb…if I hit them on a good night. After a martini and a long wait to be seated we started on our second round of drinks and then finally got a look at that evening’s menu. Sure enough, items like one half, roasted quail on a bed of sweet potato hay, or calves liver on wild rice just didn’t make it with me. And judging by the prolonged silence at the table, nobody else was thrilled with the countless oddball offerings…and not inexpensive items either. So I asked (in my best ‘I told you so’ tone) “Do you see anything you really want to order?” Nobody at our table was interested with anything on the menu. But what could we do? We had waited 45 minutes for the prime table in the middle of the open barn setting and we were already through our second cocktail when I suggested, “I’ll handle it. Just follow my lead.” When the waitress returned and asked, “Can I take your order?” I snapped back with, “There’s a problem with your menu!” “What?” exclaimed the waitress? “Why, it’s so very limited” I proclaimed in the most pretentious manner. “Limited? Limited? What do you mean?” “Well……..you have NO SPAM! Yes, you haven’t any SPAM! With that rather loud announcement, my friend Peter caught on quickly and followed my lead with, “What! No Spam! No Spam and eggs. No eggs Spam and Spam.” I chime back with, “No Spam, Spam, bacon and Spam – we’re leaving! We left a hefty tip, but ceremoniously all walked out with our noses held high and all but a few Monty Python fans understood our attempt at humor – we knew who they were, they were chanting SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM!
