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I think I'd stitch 50 or 60 plugs (trebbles and all) into his skin and then lock him in a room with BM ...
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tOO FUNNY!
I was thinking of throwing a rope out to save him (only it would be loaded with hooks) and then reel him in , then I would probably (since I am a female) castrate (with a rusty fork) then tease him with farm animals!
OOOPPPS! wasnt this a "moral" question????