[davess23]

You poor bastard. This is a major, and I do mean major, setback. I don't know how you managed to commit a blunder of this magnitude, but short of being able to rent a time machine, you're screwed. Your entire existence for the immediate/foreseeable future needs to be dedicated to damage control. You're lucky it's winter. Something much smaller than this could very easily cost a man an entire summer.

A few pointers:

First, forget about making excuses. "I don't even think about my own birthdays..." and all similar crap are useless, in fact worse than useless. She's not about to listen to that. You need to agree with her that you screwed up big-time, and you need to admit it. Sincerely, contritely, loudly and often. Grovel a little bit, too. Women seem to like a good grovel now and then. But remember, #^&#^&#^&#^&can the excuses. You need to understand that short of Alzheimers or nuclear winter, there's no excuse that she'd ever buy, anyway. So don't add more fuel to the fire...believe me, it's burning just fine already.

Next, get ready to make a gigantic (better yet, "colossal") concession of some sort. Everyone's got one of these big, nasty beasts lurking in the shadows of their relationship: a vacation with the in-laws that you've been avoiding like the plague for years, sale of your boat to finance a bathroom makeover, moving her sister in with you for a while, or whatever. I'm sure you're fully aware of one of these metaphorical toothaches waiting to be inflicted on you. Well, my friend, now is the time to tell her that it can happen. Whatever it is, give in to her. It'll hurt like hell, but that's the whole idea.

Then, anticipate the next significant date. About the only decent thing about this disaster is your timing: Valentine's Day is right around the corner. I hope you've got some major headroom on the ol' Visa card, because boy are you ever gonna need it. This VD has to be at least three times the intensity of the most heartfelt one from back when you were dating, and it has to be clearly stated as intended to make up (tell her, "at least just a little bit") for the birthday effup. In fact, you might want to do this one in stages, beginning, say, tomorrow.

Finally, whatever you do for Valentines, spectacular though it may be, should be considered as merely a warmup for your next anniversary. Think, "Paris in springtime" or something of that magnitude...

So that's what you need to do if you want to begin, just begin gaining some forgiveness and rehabilitation. Better get on it skosh.

Oh, and have I made clear yet that even if you accomplish all of the above with straight "A pluses", and add a few of your own gimmees to it, you're still nowhere near out of the woods? Because that's the way it's gonna work, in spite of your best efforts. I said, "damage control," not "fix everything," didn't I? Women have memories that'd put the elephants to shame. No matter what you do to atone for your sins, this little incident is written in indelible ink, no, let's make that "carved in granite," and it will follow you for the rest of your life together, surfacing whenever a conflict between you two leads her to require a good stout club with which to beat you.

My sympathies, friend, and my hopes go with you.