Signs that you are too drunk:
-- You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the Earth.
-- Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
-- The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
-- Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
-- You can focus better with one eye closed.
-- You fall off the floor.
-- Roseanne looks good.
-- You don't recognize your wife/husband unless seen through bottom of glass.
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