this is to officially launch the side kick to dunkin doughnuts grumpage...
KNOWN as the Pizza thread...
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It didnt happen recently but here goes....
One day when i lived in Californicate ....i mean California..
my wife and i decide to go have a Pizza....
ok, and there were several choices nearby
but we decided to TRY
"newyork pizza "
well we get in there...... and the menu looked pretty pricey
$$$
so my wife being a very thrifty gal decides in her infinate
wisdom...that we should order a vegetarian pizza and of course
its not
EVEN on the friggan menu....
so we explain to the
CLUELESS pizza guy how to construct one and
he gives it his best shot...with thinly sliced tomatoe covered with cheese on top.
now, if you don't have the cheese on "top of the veggies" your
not gonna cook them very well and he doesn't even know to drain them
first on a paper towel or something absorbant for the excess juice.
when we had first arrived: We were the only people in there and when we finally FINALLY
get our PIZZA which was "a large" the PLACE is now JAM packed with every seat occupied. I get the Pizza and say: "thankyou" politely open the box to see what i can only describe as a
mudslide pizza with puddles of water so deep that i shoulda brought my friggan surf rod with me just in case there was a south wind that day.
So being of sound mind...oh i take that back...being of weird mind
and body i decide to plunge in and take a bite as by now i could eat the cardboard pizza box, i'm so freakin hungry and As i pick A slice of pizza
everything
slides completely off the dough with a
BIG splat...hits the table and splashes me right in the eye with hot tomatoe juice before i can even land a mouthful.
Now generally i try to maintain my
cool,but i totally lost it....and grabbing a napkin began to administer first aid to my scorched eyeball now squinting with my pissed off right eye.
I calmly close the box and return to the counter with the PIZZA and demand my money back saying: that,
this is the worst pizza i've ever seen in my life and we won't be eating it.....Well the guy gives me this serious look of disatisfaction and says to me...->
The WILD CHILD on steroids,
sorry dude
but i can't do that... .. now... my
blood begins to boil like a witches cauldren
bubbling over....and i slowly look towards the crowded PIZZA shop...who are all watching this
BATTLE transpire.... and i say to this PIZZA guy...before i leap over the counter and throw his skinny @ss right in the oven....
look you IDIOT.....YOU EITHER GIVE ME MY $15.00 dam dollars back RIGHT NOW! or i'm gonna put this pizza on the floor in front of all these customers.and do a Mexican Hat dance like you've never seen
on it,
until its the biggest nastiest mess in "California History".
With flames of fire shooting out of my one eye....bones popping, muscles starting to pump up like hans and frans....he decides to hand me my money
and we leave peacefully and walk over to a Pizza hut just down the road and order a large pitcher of beer to go with our "perfect pizza" as i extinguish my rage.... while many
pizza hut customers looking around were wondering where is all this
steam is coming from.....
