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From the Maine Department Of Tourism
Maine seems to be on everyone's vacation wish list. Hence the slogan on
Maine license plates, "Vacationland." This list of rules will be handed to
each person entering the state. Vehicles with New Jersey, New York and
Connecticut plates will receive two copies:
1. That slope shouldered farm boy you are snickering at did more work
before breakfast than you will do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slowly you drive, you're
going to get dust on your BMW. I have a four wheel drive because I need it.
Now drive or get it out of the way.
3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old. Yeah,
we saw Bambi. We got over it.
4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get your
butt kicked...by our women.
5. Pull your pants up, and turn your hat around. You look like an idiot.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their
final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to
your ear at the time!
7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it
rare. Order a two pound lobster and steamers. Or, you can order the Chef's
Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
8. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar
and a long spoon.
9. If you bring "Coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served
over ice.
10. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We
have quarter-million dollar skidders to pull logs out of the woods.
11. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when
it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks because they want to. So,
you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
13. Yeah, we eat lobster, scallops, clams and haddock too. If you really
want sushi and caviar, it's available at the bait shop.
14. They are pigs and they are cows. That's what they smell like. Get
used to it. Don't like it? Interstate 95 & the Maine Turnpike go two
ways....get in the Southbound Lane!
15. "Opening day" refers to the first days of fishin' and deer season.
They are religious holidays. You can go get breakfast at the church.
16. So what if every person in every pickup waves? It's called being
friendly. Understand the concept?
17. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks
the fish.
18. Chowder is supposed to be white. Don't even think of asking for red
chowder until you are somewhere safely south of White Plains, NY.
Welcome to Maine - The Way Life Should Be
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