[Van]

This is not a joke, but a great idea. I'm sure we all know someone who deserves this. Enjoy...


Subject: Classic Anger Management

>
> This is diabolical! ( and yet, strangely satisfying.... )
>
>
> For all of you who occasionally have a really bad
> day and you just need to
> take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone
> you know, take it out
> on someone you don't know.
> I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone
> call I had forgotten to
> make. I found the number, and dialed it. A man
> answered saying, "Hello?"
>
> I politely said, "This is Bob, could I please speak
> with Robin?" Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so
>
> rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number, and
> called her. (I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number).
>
> After hanging up with her, I decided to call the
> 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an a-hole!" and hung up.
>
> I wrote his number down, with the word 'a-hole'
> next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him. He'd answer and I'd yell, "You're an a-hole
>
> It always cheered me up.
>
> When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'a-hole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John
> Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling
> to see if you're familiar with the caller ID program?"
>
> He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I
> quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an a-hole
>
> So, one day I was at the store, getting ready to
> pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I had patiently
>
> waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had
> been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.
>
> A couple of days later, right after calling the
> first a-hole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW a-hole too. I dialed and someone said, "Hello?"
>
> I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for
> sale?"
>
> "Yes it is."
>
> "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
>
> "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow
> house and the car's parked right out front."
>
> "What's your name?" I asked.
>
> "My name is Don Hansen," he said.
>
> "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
>
> "I'm home every evening after five."
>
> "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
>
> "Yes?"
>
> "Don, you're an a-hole
>
> Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed
> dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two a-holes to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
>
> So, I came up with an idea: I called a-hole #1.
>
> "Hello"
>
> "You're an a-hole! (but I didn't hang up.)
>
> "Are you still there?" he asked.
>
> "Yeah," I said.
>
> "Stop calling me," he screamed.
>
> "Make me," I said.
>
> "Who are you?" he asked.
>
> "My name is Don Hansen."
>
> "Yeah, where do you live?"
>
> a-hole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow
> house with my black Beemer out front."
>
> He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you
> had better start saying your prayers."
>
> I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, a-hole
>
> Then I called a-hole # 2:
>
> "Hello?" he said.
>
> "Hello a-hole, I said.
>
> He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
>
> "You'll what?" I said.
>
> "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
>
> I answered, "Well, a-hole, here's your chance. I'm
> coming over right now."
>
> Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police
> saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
>
> Then, I called Channel 13 news about the gang war
> going down on West 34th Street.
>
> I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th
> St. There, I saw two a-holes beating the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.
>
> Now, I feel better.
>