Striper Talk Striped Bass Fishing, Surfcasting, Boating - View Single Post

Van · 08-28-2002, 12:02 PM

Subj: MODERN MEDICINE
>
>
> "The long term implications of drugs/procedures must be fully considered:

> "Because over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and Viagra than is spent on Alzheimer's Disease research, it is believed that by the year 2030 there will be a large number of people wandering around with huge breasts and erections who can't remember what to do with them"...

AND.......

Here's some more new drugs that may soon be on the Market...
>
St. Mom's Wort ... Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
>
Empty Nestrogen ... Highly effective suppository that eliminates
> melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait til they moved out.
>
Peptobimbo ... Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.
>
Dumerol ... When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music and WWF wrestling
>
Flipitor .. Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
>
Antiboyotics ... When administered to teenage girls is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.
>
Menicillin ... Potent antibiotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"
>
Buyagra ... Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases
> potency and duration of spending spree.
>
Extra Strength Buy-one-all ... When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminant buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.
>
Jack Asspirin ... Relieves the headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
>
Anti-talksident ... A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
>
Sexcedrin ... Bedroom aerosol spray for men. More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.
>
Ragamet ... When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
>
Men-Gay ... A rub-in ointment that enables single women to identify who to cross off the dating pool.

08-28-2002, 12:02 PM	#10
Van zoom iTrader: (0) Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Quincy Posts: 4,145	Modern Medicine Subj: MODERN MEDICINE > > > "The long term implications of drugs/procedures must be fully considered: > "Because over the past few years, more money has been spent on breast implants and Viagra than is spent on Alzheimer's Disease research, it is believed that by the year 2030 there will be a large number of people wandering around with huge breasts and erections who can't remember what to do with them"... AND....... Here's some more new drugs that may soon be on the Market... > St. Mom's Wort ... Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours. > Empty Nestrogen ... Highly effective suppository that eliminates > melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait til they moved out. > Peptobimbo ... Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting. > Dumerol ... When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music and WWF wrestling > Flipitor .. Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. > Antiboyotics ... When administered to teenage girls is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up. > Menicillin ... Potent antibiotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?" > Buyagra ... Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases > potency and duration of spending spree. > Extra Strength Buy-one-all ... When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminant buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura. > Jack Asspirin ... Relieves the headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number. > Anti-talksident ... A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers. > Sexcedrin ... Bedroom aerosol spray for men. More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome. > Ragamet ... When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself. > Men-Gay ... A rub-in ointment that enables single women to identify who to cross off the dating pool.
	~..~..~.. ><((((º> Things done at the last possible minute are done with the greatest possible information. Procrastination is, therefore, the most efficient means of doing things.