[Rappin Mikey]

I swear to God, and I'm pretty religious, Catholic school and everything. Every time I go fishing with an itchy butt, I out fish everybody on the beach! Actually, sometimes I make sure I have an itchy butt before I go fishing these days.

I know this is gonna be kind of crude, but it has become one of those strange supersticions I have, so please let me explain in detail. First off, lets face it, Everybody tries to take a dump before they embark on an all night fishing excursion. It's easier at home then on the beach/rocks, what ever.

Well, this all began for me when I went fishing on the Cape for a weekend a few years back. I had a slight touch of the stomach flu this particular weekend, and the runs had become an obvious problem. After fighting the traffic for 5 hours, if I remember correctly, it was the weekend of the P-town Gay Parade, out of frustration I decided I would have a few beers. Bad Idea. After number four, my stomach sounded like a perkalator, and I decided to call it quits. I went to bed for a few hours to wait out the tide, got up, and was still feeling quite lousy. Anyway, a little ague isn't stopping this guy. I jumped on the pot took care of buisness and hit the road. However, because of the bug, the preliminary dumpage was not enough to suffice. Let me explain.

I got to the beach, aired down, drove to my spot, tied on, threw the waders on, then it hit me. I felt the rumble in the jungle, thats what I like to call it anyway. There was no way I was driving back off the beach at this point, and I had a few wet wipes. So I decided to go dig a little hole and........ I don't feel I really need to elaborate much further. On second thought, maybe I will anyway.

I don't care who you are, the old emergency situation has happened to evreybody. You all know, you can't get the same wipe on squatting over a hole in the sand as you do at the throne at home. Because of this, after an "emergency situation", one naturally is going to walk away with an itchy butt.

It was one of those mornings when there was a slight sw west out there. Where I was fishing, that wind is at your back, and usually tends to lay things down as far as surf goes. To say the least, I wasn't expecting to have much action. There was a thin fog though, and I like the fog.

When I finally made my first it cast it was still very dark and I was one of the only people on the beach. I believe I was tossing a needle to start. Nothing! I started to cycle through the plug bag to no avail. Everytime I would change up, I would think to myself, "Wow, my butt sure is itchy". Anyway, it got to be false dawn, and I decided I would throw on a yellow canal special. At this point, the beach was crowded. Not to crowded, but you could definitely see a good number of fisherpeople in either direction, none of whom were seeing much action. Well, once I tied on that popper, me and my itchy butt started to slay the fish! The cool thing was everything was on top, and we all know, there is no feeling more exillerating then seeing a good size striper explode on your offering when the rest of the water around is relatively still.

To make a long story shorter, nobody but me landed a striper that morning. I lost two to the seals, and beached 6 between 15 and twenty pounds. I know those aren't huge fish, but they seem big when everyone around you is catching rat blues.

The next morning was a repeat performance, itchy butt and all. I walked away with fish, while everyone else on the beach looked perplexed, I'm sure wondering what my secret was. Little did anyone know, it was just my itchy butt. So, Toby, next time you go fishing with this guy, I don't mind if you utilize this technique. And remember what Confusious said "He who goes fishing with an itchy butt, comes home with a smelly fish finger". I hope this helped.