[BassDawg]

Mom,,,,,,,,,,
"If Johnny jumped off of the Empire State Building/leaped into the Grand Canyon/stepped in front of a freight train/pissed into the wind, then would you do it to follow suit?"

"Well! You don't live at Johnny's house, and your name is NOT Johnny Uptonogood. Your name is..............and you ARE still my son and as long as you are living under THIS roof you WILL............."

Stepfather (about as Okie as they come)
"You wouldn't know your azzzz from a hole in the ground!"
"If your azzz wasn't attached you'd forget where THAT is, too!"
"It's a good thing that yer head is screwed on, because if it wasn't you'd take it off and play with it!"
"That stunt makes you just about dumber than a box of rocks!"
"What in tarnation were you thinking?"
"Think before you speak, don't let your mouth overload your brain!"
"You wake up in a different world everyday, don't ya boy?"
"You'd eff up a wet dream!"
"How much is it gonna cost me THIS time?"