[BassDawg]

sheet fire and save the matches,

sheet, or git off the pot,

he couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with a handful of gravel,

he couldn't hit a bull in the azzzz with a bass fiddle,

they don't have a pot to piss in or a winder to throw it out of,

slow as molasses in the winter time,

quicker than greased lightning,

smart as a whip,

purty as a pig in a poke,

ten foot tall and bulletproof,

as full of sheet as a Christmas turkey,

talkin' to her is like trying to rope the wind,

he's about as lost as a fart in a tornado,

dangit boy! sumthin' must a crawled up in you and died!!,

i am plum, tuckered out,

labor conquers all,

if you make yer bed ~~you gotta lie in it,

never shat in yer own backyard,

don't make a liar out of yerself, cuz you ain't foolin' anyone else!,

only women and dogs get mad,

~~~in the pursuit of Love~~~

18 to 80, blind, cripple, or crazy! if they cain't walk, DRAG 'em!!,

that boy would eff a rattler ~if somebody would hold it's head,

you got no chance, she'd throw rocks at you!,

will ya look at the shiiiiiitter on that critter?,

if i had a swing like THAT, i'd never leave the back porch,

she's not that big,,,,,,,,,,i LIKE a little meat w/ my pahtaytees!,

she's a little skinny,,,,,,,,,,,i'd be afraid i'd break that in 1/2!,

them's breeder hips!, it's cheaper to keep her!,

that's the kinda gal you take home to meet momma,

she sure has pretty TEETH, and i want them BOTH,

i said "I do" ~she said "YOU better!",