[scottw]

* If you're a minority and you're "selected" for a job over more qualified candidates simply because of the color of your skin, that's wrong."
* If you're a conservative and you're selected for a VP job over more qualified candidates it was McCain's decision so shut up."

* 70% out of wedlock births in the black community? A "crisis" in black America .
* White teen pregnancies? same....Palin family story, at least they don't look at a baby as a PUNISHMENT...ever!

* If you grow up in Hawaii you're "exotic." is EXOTIC BAD? I ALWAYS THOUGHT EXOTIC WAS COOL?
* Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you're the quintessential "American story." UMMM, MOOSEBURGERS!

* Similarly, if you name you kid Barack you're "unpatriotic." I thought it was the "Hussein" that was the problem...
* Name your kid Track, you're "colorful
* Name your kid SPENCE and @#!%$#@

* If you're a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the individual you're "reckless."
* The Republican who picked Palin is brilliant and a "SUPER Maverick."

* If you spend 8 working side by side with a notorious domestic terrorist who said on 9/11 that he wished he done more and you spend 49 million dollars on radical left wing causes under the guise of improving education and your home district is still the cesspool that it has always been and clearly has not benefited from the CHANGE that you claim to be able to provide with the wave of a wand, then become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review via affirmative action and the only article ever submitted to the review by you is an unsigned abortion article, create a voter registration drive working for ACORN, one of the most that corrupt left wing organizations in the country specializing in voter fraud...registers 150,000 new African Amerian voters alive, dead or non-existent, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law
professor, then spend nearly 8 more years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people forcing them into slum housing and enriching Tony Retzko, becoming chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, then spend nearly 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of nearly 13 million people and campaigning for president before ever trying the whole SENATOR thing from day 1 chairing an senate sub committee and never, ever holding a meeting, sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you are woefully inexperienced but good enough for the dems.

* If you spend 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, then spend 20 months as the governor of a state with 650,000 people, then you've got the most executive experience of anyone on either ticket, are the Commander in Chief of the Alaska military and are well qualified to lead the nation should you be called upon to do so because your state is the closest state to Russia. Sometimes you just have "IT".
* If you are a Democratic male candidate who is popular with millions of people you are an "extremely arrogant and condescending faux-celebrity who also has the capacity to be a whiny little bitch apparently."
* If you are a popular Republican female candidate you are "energizing the base." OH YEAH BABY!

* If you are a younger male candidate who thinks for himself and makes his own decisions only after days of advice from 300+ foreign policy advisors you are ...hahahahahahahha.
* If you are an older male candidate who makes last minute decisions you refuse to explain, you are a "shoot from the hip" maverick and a good shot.

* If you are a candidate with a Harvard law degree you are "an elitist-out of touch" with the real America . YOU SAID IT, NOT ME
* if you are a legacy (dad and granddad were admirals) graduate of Annapolis , with multiple disciplinary infractions you are a HERO.

* If you manage a multi-million dollar nationwide campaign, you are an "empty suit." I think he just reads the teleprompter, Axelrod runs the show...
* If you are a part time mayor of a town of 7000 people, you are an "experienced executive." AND VERY HOT!

* If you go to a south side Chicago church that spews radical America hating rhetoric on a weekly basis, supports Hamas and subscribes to Black Liberation Theology "Marxism", your beliefs are "extremist." NO KiDDIN'
* If you believe in creationism and don't believe global warming is man made, you are "strongly principled." Yeah,. because noone believes in Creation and damn it's hot lately...according to the instruments, the planet hasn't warmed since 1998 (coffee break) and we may be in a cycle of cooling, that's gonna piss AL Gore off..

* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian. Who are you talking about Ted Kennedy?
* If you have been married to the same woman with whom you've been wed to for 19 years and raising 3 beautiful daughters with, you're "ME." hey, how about that?

* If you're a "black single mother of 4" who waits for 22 hours after her water breaks to seek medical attention, you're an irresponsible parent, endangering the life of your unborn child. And a dumbass for having a 5th kid when you can't support your first 4!!!
* But if you're a white married mother who waits 22 hours, you're spunky. AND VERY, VERY HOT, EVEN WHEN PREGNANT!

* If you're a 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton, the right-wing press calls you "First dog." because you are butt ugly
* If you're a 17-year old pregnant unwed daughter of a Republican, the right-wing press calls you "beautiful" and "courageous." and not so bright I guess...

* If you kill an endangered species, you're an excellent hunter.
* If you have an abortion, you're a murderer (forget about if it happened while being raped.)
*If you can't differentiate betwen an animal and a child, you're an A-HOLE.

* If you teach abstinence only in sex education, you get teen parents. not if they abstain, works everytime...
* If you teach responsible age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society. it's the kindergarten thing that bugs me...

* If you're a Republican senator who solicits gay sex in an airport bathroom, you get to return to your job in the Senate and are encouraged to run for re-election. and if he switched to the democratic party he'd be elected over and over and when he died they'd name a grammar school after him
* If you're a Democratic Senator who is out of public office and have an affair, your political career is over and your wife who has terminal cancer is to blame. I don't get this one, he's out of office so how'd he lose his career???