Quote:
Originally Posted by numbskull
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I mistook your prophet Chris' word when he began his noble purpose by saying, "....... we know that without eels we stand a snowballs chance in hell of catching a trophy bass. Is there anyone who thinks they stand a legitimate chance for a trophy with jigs or plugs?.......", when in fact he clearly meant, " Certainly,as I and others have stated already plugs can also yield impressive results".... In my ignorance I compounded my sin by causing him to slander the names of those too holy to mention, and then challenging the holiest of commandments, "Thou shalt killest the mostest and biggest fish thoust can by any means that is most efficent, and displayest those fish for all to admire and give praise, soest thou might attain great fame and personal fortune and groweth bigger testicles than those other chumps, to help find thoust's #^&#^&#^&#^& as thy belly swells with the fruits of thy fortune". But thank you lord for thy mighty apostle, Chris, who has shown me the evil error of my petty purist ways and the smallness of my testicles. For pennance let me split asunder my flyrod over my wetsuit's knee, toss away to the currents my unholy wooden idols, and carry Back Beach's eel bucket all the days of my life, gaining sustance only from it's dregs once the night's work is done. And if I do, oh lord, please make this dandruff and distain (and Flap too if you don't mind) go away, so when I die I should be worthy to enter thy kingdom, Rhode Island.
Amen
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If I were you I would get yourself to the nearest church and while lying prostrate before the altar and pary to Gog on high to remove these evil thoughts from your soul while repeating the holy mantra of the plug fisherman,
"Oh Lord, My God, the only one true God, I lay before you beseaching thy divine providence (not Rhode Island) and give me the strength to resist the temptation , unlike Adam, the first man who many believe falsely was created, in a garden in Narragansett, to taste the forbidden fruit of the eel, that wicked wicked serpent, whom does tempt all fishers to sell thier immortal soul to easier ways and thereby become loathsome unto you oh Lord, for only you know that by forsaking that evil serpent and accepting that the one true way to your kingdom is to take the wood, the same wood that carried your son home to you, the same wood that he suffered and died upon for our salvation, and to fashion from it the likeness of your most wonderful creatures of the deep and from that and guided by your hands on mine at my lathe, as your son once did in Nazareth, cast it into thy most wonderful sea, and take that seas most wonderous inhabitant, created by your goodness and care, the Striped Bass, as it should be rightly taken and then once taken released to live again with the memory of it's splendor and your righteous glory"
Amen
Try it, what the F()ck do you have to loose?
