Quote:
Originally Posted by Saltheart
Why is there so much jealousy and competitiveness about fishing? ?
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It was just a small error God made at the beginning. You see, when God created man he forgot to apply breasts. As a result, a man's worth is difficult assess. True, of course, for many millennia this was not an issue, since penis size became an acceptable surrogate (except in Ireland where liver volume became more valuable). Unfortunately, with the invention of waders this system broke down and even guys from Franklin could pass themselves off as virile fellows. Initially God compensated for this by allowing the use of spinning reels to designate those best suited to be eunuchs. For a long while this worked until a few Irish engineers, prodded on by greedy Chinese tackle merchants, ruined things with the development of braided line and exorbitantly priced reels.
Well obviously such a situation, where social status, self-esteem, and the ability to get laid by someone other than thine own hand or Sauerkraut's first girlfriend, could be determined by a few pieces of silver, was deemed unacceptable (although in Brockton they may have missed this news). Accordingly, it soon became acknowledged that the size of a fish one could catch (confirmed of course) would be the best way, short of asking Flap, to estimate any man's gonadal weight.
Probably, if Stan Gibbs were still alive, this would have worked. But it was not to be, for even God in his infinite wisdom underestimated how low a guy in RI would stoop to get laid. And stoop they did, for quickly they found a loophole.........using the Devil's own spawn, eels, for bait. Quickly it all went bad. Why soon even horridly untouchable castes, like boat guys, found themselves swaggering in our midsts, claiming our praises, and stealing our women.
And so I say, "woe, woe is me". For all seems lost when all it takes is an eel to be thought a man, and all the large breasted women seem to be taken, and there is nothing left for us honest plug fishermen, other than a few desultory schoolies, a 1974 SI swimsuit issue, and an internet chat site to feel a man.