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Inspection Teams....Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection
teams who have arrived in Iraq? They're all men!How in the name of the
United Nations does anyone expect men to find Saddam's stash? We all know that
men have a blind spot when it comes to finding things. For crying' out loud!
Men can't find the dirty clothes hamper. Men can't find the jar of jelly until
it falls out of the cupboard and splatters on the floor.... and these are the
people we have sent into Iraq to search for hidden weapons of mass
destruction?I keep wondering why groups of mothers weren't sent in.
Mothers can sniff out secrets quicker than a drug dog can find a gram of
dope.
Mothers can find gin bottles that dads have stashed in the attic beneath the
rafters.They can sniff out a diary two rooms and one floor away. They can
tell when the lid of a cookie jar has been disturbed and notice when a
quarter inch slice has been shaved off a chocolate cake. A mother can
smell alcohol on your breath before you get your key in the front door and can
smell cigarette smoke from a block away. By examining laundry, a mother
knows more about their kids than Sherlock Holmes. And if a mother wants an
answer to question, she can read an offender's eyes quicker than a homicide
detective.
So... considering the value a mother could bring to an
inspection team, why are we sending a bunch of old men
who will rely on electronic equipment to scout out hidden threats?
My mother would walk in with a wooden soup spoon in one hand,
grab Saddam by the ear, give it a good twist and snap,
"Young man, do you have any weapons of mass destruction?"
And God help him if he tried to lie to her. She'd march him down the street to some
secret bunker and shove his nose into a nuclear bomb and say, "Uh, huh, and what
do you call this, mister?"Whap! Thump! Whap! Whap! Whap! And she'd lay some
stripes across his bare bottom with that soup spoon, then march him home
in front of the whole of Baghdad. He'd not only come clean and apologize for
lying about it, he'd cut every lawn in Baghdad for free for the whole damn
summer.Inspectors my fanny...
You want the job done? ......... Call my mother.
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