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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
NEW 2003 VERSION
1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK
She is a BREASTED AMERICAN. (OR INSERT
STATE/NATION OF CHOICE)
2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER
She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
3. She is not EASY
She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
4. She is not DUMB
She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION
SUPERHIGHWAY.
5. She has not BEEN AROUND
She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION
6. She is not an AIRHEAD
She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY
She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS
She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
9. She does not NAG YOU
She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
10. She is not a SLUT
She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
11. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS
She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
12. She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE
She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY
CORRECT:
1. He does not have a BEER GUT
He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY.
2. He is not a BAD DANCER
He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME
He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not BALDING
He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER
He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS
6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK
He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS
- He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG
He has SWINE EMPATHY.
9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT
He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
10. He is not HORNY
He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED
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